Ray took a swallow and set his bottle on the coffee table. "You want to know what really happened? It's not a pretty story. I wouldn't want to offend a lady."

"I'm a freakin' vampire first, Ray. Lady second. I can handle an ugly story." I sat back.

"Yeah, right. You'll probably get off to this."

That earned him one of Valdez's growls.

"Sorry. Where's my respect?"

I hid my hurt behind a careless smile. I'd be damned if I'd teach Ray mind reading anytime soon, but I could see that this story had left really deep scars. He never shared it.

"I'm listening, Ray. Go ahead."

"Fine. I was eighteen. On my own in New York City. I'd wanted to be a musician since I started playing the piano when I was six. My dad took me on tour with him before I could hold a guitar." Ray got a faraway look in his eyes. "I loved it. The music, the people. Still do."

I had a hard time holding on to my hurt when Ray was like this. Sure, he loved music and it showed in every song he sang. "So you headed to New York looking for your big break."

"And I got it. I started singing in small clubs. That's where I met Lucky. She was beautiful, full of life, and she knew everybody." Ray frowned. "Found out later it was because a lot of them owed her family money."

"So they don't just loan money to paranormals."

"Hell, no. They'll loan to anyone, anytime. But people soon found out they'd better pay the family back along with their exorbitant interest or else." Ray rubbed his neck and yawned. "I'm beat. What time is it?"

"You've got about an hour until dawn." Yeah, I was still hurt, but I felt an obligation to Ray. He hadn't asked for this, and I felt indirectly responsible. So I would clue him in. I saw his eyes closing. I reached out and shook him awake.

"Okay, Ray. Listen carefully. When the sun rises, wherever you are, you're going to crash. I mean, seriously, lights out. And if the sun hits you, you're a goner." I should have told him this stuff already. "The sun will kill you, Ray. So you have to be in a room with black-out drapes, like those in this apartment." I walked over and made sure they were closed tight.

"Valdez watches over me during the day because that's when a vampire is most vulnerable. We're utterly defenseless. Anyone can kill us then." Boy, did I know that. I'd spent way too many years worrying about where I could safely spend my days.

"That's the pits." Ray yawned again.

"Yes, it is. Let me give you an example. We had a fire here not long ago. If Valdez hadn't pulled all the vampires in the building to safety, we would've died in our beds. We can't wake up."

"This is bogus. It can't be happening."

"It can. It has. It can't be reversed. You're vampire. Forever. You'll just have to deal with it."

"How else can we die?" Ray drank his Fangtastic and got up to look at the drapes with their thick layers.

"A wooden stake through the heart or if someone cuts off your head. No cure for that." I glanced at Valdez. "But I want to hear about Lucky. Finish the story."

"This isn't a story. This is the truth. I fell in love with her. I was young, remember? She was inventive in bed and I was hooked. I wanted to marry her, was saving up to buy her a ring. You don't give a woman like Lucky a little diamond." He looked at Valdez.

"Hell, no. She'd want something from Tiffany." Valdez was obviously bonding here, guy to guy. I just waited for the punch line.

"That's where I made a critical mistake. I thought maybe I could get a loan. I had my first record coming out and the buzz was good. So I went to her father. Told him why I wanted the money." Ray was restless, wandering around the living room. He picked up the unauthorized biography.

"This is crap. My dad never hit my mother, even though they yelled a lot, still do if they're ever in the same room for more than two minutes." He took the book to the kitchen, and I heard him dump it into the trash can. I'd get it out later. I wondered if I could whammy Ray into autographing it. Would that be cheating?

"Sit down, Ray. About Lucky's father. Did you ask for her hand? Lucky says he's old-school Italian. I bet he expected it." It was way too late, but I'd always thought that old-fashioned courtesy the height of the romantic gesture. Blade on bended knee? Nope, couldn't imagine it.

"No, didn't think of it. But it wouldn't have made a difference. Next thing I know I get a visit from some of her father's goons." Ray finally sat on the couch again.

"Why does he always call them that?" Valdez just had to say something. "They're hired hands. Enforcers. Show some respect."

"Hey, you guys are all about respect, aren't you?" Ray laughed, but it was a bitter sound. "You're in the wrong line of work if that's what you're after. Anyway, that's what Carvarelli calls them and I'll be damned if I'll respect those goons after what they did to me." Ray picked up the Fangtastic again and seemed disappointed that the bottle was empty.

"Okay, what did they do?"

"You saw me naked, right?" He looked from me to Valdez.

Well, no use denying it. We both nodded. And, yeah, my cheeks were hot.

"That piercing? On my cock?"

"Man, that had to have hurt."

"You have no idea."

"Then why do it? I've heard it can enhance pleasure. But is it worth it?" Valdez leaned forward, like he really wanted to know for himself. Just the thought made me shudder.

"I didn't have a choice. Carvarelli's goons grabbed me one night. Stripped me and chained me to a wooden table." I met Ray's gaze and looked into his mind. Saw his terror when he'd been naked and laid out while three men laughed and stood over him. One held a chain saw, playing with it like he was trying to decide what body part to take off first. Ray cried, begged, then one of them grabbed his cock. I looked away, unable to bear watching what came next.

"Christ, Ray." I thought I was going to be sick.

He sneered. "Too ugly for you, Glory?"

"Just finish it, Ray." I looked at Valdez. "We don't want to cross Carvarelli, V. I can tell you that."

"What the hell- "

Ray touched his crotch. "They pierced me, Valdez. With a hammer. Nailed me right to the table. As a warning. Said if I ever saw or spoke to Lucky again, the whole cock was coming off, balls and all."

Eighteen

Valdez swore, using some of those words he forbid anyone to use around me. Then he laid his head on my knee and took a steadying breath. "That's harsh, man."

"Harsh? Naw. They figured they'd let me off easy. They unchained me and tossed me the hammer. So I could pry the nail out of the table and walk home. Even left me my clothes. Those guys were real sweethearts."

I tried to block out the picture of Ray staggering home, bleeding, with a hole in his penis. I put a fist in my mouth to keep from sobbing out loud. And he'd only been eighteen. That night should have made him an instant adult.

"Obviously Lucky has no idea that's why you dumped her."

"No, that was part of the deal. I couldn't explain. No contact with her ever again." Ray rubbed his crotch, and I had a feeling it was an old habit. Apparently respecting me didn't include forgoing that.

"A nail. That couldn't have healed well."

"No shit. But I didn't have time to worry about it." Ray got up and went into the kitchen for another bottle of Fangtastic. He leaned against the doorway and twisted off the cap. "The opening act for the Stones lost its lead singer to rehab and I was offered the job. I jumped at it and left town to go on tour. Hell, this was the break I'd been dreaming about."

"My dad showed up in Philadelphia where I had a fever and almost fell off the stage. Yeah, I got infected. Nails'll do that to ya. Dad took me to the emergency room." Ray walked over and sat again. He looked at me, then Valdez. "Nobody else has ever heard this story. Just my dad, now you two. It doesn't leave this room. I came out all right. Forget you ever heard it." Forget it, yeah right. Like it wasn't now burned into my brain, and trust me, I've seen some pretty horrific stuff over the years. I nodded and so did Valdez. For once my dog was speechless, only the twitch in his tail showing how much this story had disturbed him.

"Sounds like you and your dad were really close."

"You could say that." Ray smiled. "Still are. Shit. He'll be waiting for me in New York. I'll have to call him tomorrow night." Ray took another gulp of Fangtastic. "It's got to be near dawn. I feel like I'm dying here." I glanced at the clock. "Yep, about five minutes. I wonder if Flo and Richard are coming back. We just took off without them."

"Message on the answering machine. She says she's staying at Richard's. Ray can take her bed."

"Good." Ray stood and walked toward the hall. "I assume it's down this hall."

"Wait. I have a question." My bruised ego would have loved a minor skirmish with Valdez trying to keep Ray out of my bed. Yeah, like that was going to happen.

"Hurry, I'm about to pass out." Ray pulled his T-shirt off over his head.

I tried to look away. I did. But I've been a Ray fan-atic too long to go cold turkey. And a fine male body is a fine male body.

"Uh. Oh, yeah. Why do you still have a piercing? Obviously you finally healed. Why not just forget the whole horrible experience?"

"I decided it would be stupid to forget one of the most valuable lessons I ever learned. That piercing is there to remind me that love is for idiots and green-ass kids. I've had my eyes opened, babe. I hook up, but I don't get hooked, know what I mean?" And with that Ray staggered down the hall to Flo's bedroom. The door slammed shut, and Valdez and I just looked at each other.

"Ray's really been through some stuff. I guess I shouldn't take any of that personally." I yawned, just about as ready for bed as Ray was and I had about two minutes to get there.