My life went from one disappointing day to another, to keeping track of time by how much was spent with Scarlet, and how much time was spent between the moments I spent with her. We would sit on the porch and wait together, and she would tell me about her girls, how funny and smart and talented they were, and what it was like to bring them into this world. She talked about her marriage, and her decision to leave. I’d already thought she was maybe the strongest, bravest woman I’d met, but to listen to how alone she was in that decision, with no support, I couldn’t help but be in awe of her.

Each night was a buildup to when I would finally have enough balls to touch her. Sometimes I would play it off with a nudge, or a playful smack on her leg, and she wouldn’t mind if I left it there. Childish, but she was nothing if not intimidating . . . and distractingly beautiful. I found it difficult not to stare at her, and was glad for the dim light after the sun went down, and that the darkness gave me an excuse to concentrate on her mouth while she spoke.

It felt strange—this happiness I’d found in such a dark time. But with Zoe content in our new home and the routine we’d found, and finding Scarlet, the only thing that bothered me was what life would have been like without death descending on the world. What did it mean that I’d had such good fortune when so many had lost everything?

Sitting on the top step of the porch next to Scarlet, it was easy to forget the nightmare that was just beyond that hill, and that she wasn’t just outside spending time with me, but passing the time while waiting for her children, the true loves of her life.

“I’m still sweating,” Scarlet said, letting go of my hand to lift the collar of her T-shirt to dab her forehead. “Summer must be in full swing.”

The locust and crickets were taking over the symphony the birds had just ended. “It’s going to be another hot one.”

“Triple digits. Again. Probably.” She reached over to lace her fingers in mine.

I lifted her fingers to my lips. I wanted so badly to just pull her into my lap and touch every part of her. It was a silly, but very real desire. Something I’d never felt with Aubrey.

“Were you in a relationship? Before?” Before was the general term we used for any time before the first day of the outbreak.

Scarlet shook her head. “No. I was enjoying being single.”

“Oh.”

She laughed and squeezed my hand. “Maybe I just hadn’t met the right person, yet.”

“Maybe not,” I said, grinning like an idiot. Damn, I had it bad.

“Probably because the right person was married.”

I frowned for just a second, but cleared my expression before she noticed. Technically, I wasn’t single, and I worried that would make Scarlet think less of me.

“Does that bother you?”

Scarlet thought for a moment, and then shook her head. “The world is different, now. She left you a note saying that your marriage was over. I’d say in these times, that’s as good as a divorce. I worry about Zoe, though, don’t you?”

I loved her for that. “She doesn’t know anything, yet.”

“Oh, I think she knows more than you give her credit for.”

“You think?”

“I know. My girls knew everything I didn’t want to. I think it’s a female thing.”

I smiled. “Good point.” Scarlet looked up into my eyes, and I blinked, suddenly feeling how close we were. I leaned in just a fraction of an inch, my lips burning to touch hers.

Scarlet leaned her head against my shoulder. “I need my girls here.”

I breathed out, her rejection deflating me. “I know.”

“No. I mean . . . I need them here. Safe. It doesn’t feel right to be happy otherwise.”

I knew then what she meant, and for the first time, I realized that I had been fooling myself. There was no one that wasn’t touched by the infection.

Miranda

Bryce sat on the fence, watching Butch nose around in the dirt. We didn’t have a lot to talk about anymore. I shared all of my thoughts and feelings with Joey, and Bryce had quit trying to get me to repeat them. It felt like a waste, anyway; redundant. My fourteen-year-old self wanted to hug him and assure him that I would always love him. My eighteen-year-old self wanted to apologize that he was stuck with someone that was so selfish, she couldn’t see past her own impulsive wishes. I was too much of a coward to do either, so I just kept pretending—poorly—to Bryce that everything was fine, and sneaking around to spend time with Joey after dark.

Just as I could barely stand to look at myself, Scarlet could barely stand to look at the hill another day. The sight of it made her angry, and she began spending more and more time watching the same spot for signs of her children. Her moods shifted in an instant, and after a while, even Nathan’s level head and smooth voice couldn’t keep her calm.

She quit allowing him to wait with her, but he would wait on the arm of the couch, right next to the door, in case she would break down into tears, and occasionally she did.

After three weeks of watching Scarlet wait, I watched her walk in and grab her rifle and a backpack, filling it with ammo.

Nathan stood from his perch on the couch. “Scarlet?”

She shoved a few more boxes into the pack, a bag of chips, two bottles of water, and then zipped it up. “I just saw another ted heading south in the field.”

“What are you going to do, chase it down? I thought we agreed that was an unnecessary risk.”

Scarlet slid the pack over her shoulders, and then grabbed a hatchet from behind the front door. “My girls are out there, Nathan.”

“Yes, but you don’t know why they’re not here yet, or when they’ll show up.”

“Maybe they can’t get here. Maybe they’re alone and are too scared to pass Shallot. I can’t just sit here anymore.”

Nathan sighed. “Okay. I understand that you’re frustrated, but we need to talk about this.”

Scarlet frowned. “What is there to talk about? I’m going.”

“Okay, you’re going, but we can’t talk about it first? Get a plan together?”

Scarlet shrugged. “Walk the roads and shoot teds. What other plan do I need?”

“It’s not safe to go alone.”

Scarlet shook her head and reached for the door. “I’m not going to be responsible if something happens to you, Nathan. You have a daughter to take care of.”