I’d gotten what I wanted: the truth behind my dad’s murder and the vampire who had killed him was dead. But looking back at all the terrible things that had happened directly or indirectly because of my selfish crusade made my skin prickle with self loathing. I pushed my chair back and stood, avoiding their eyes. Neither of them spoke as I went to the sink and stared out the window at the bay. I loved this view as much as I loved our apartment. I always knew one day I’d have to leave here to go to college but that seemed so far away. Now my chest ached at the thought of leaving it all behind, of the prospect of never seeing it again. But I would do anything to never again put Nate through the hell he had suffered.

My hands gripped the edge of the countertop as I made the only choice I could.

*     *     *

“I can’t believe you’re really leaving.”

I set my bag down next to the suitcases and boxes cluttering the hallway near the front door. Forcing a smile, I turned to face Roland who had barely left my side since he and Peter burst into the apartment yesterday, fifteen minutes after Nate’s call. My ribs still ached from their crushing hugs, but it was nothing compared to the pain in my heart.

We had spent the first hour of our reunion crowded together on the couch while I retold the story of that day on the cliff and my incredible journey after I fell from the cliff. Then I listened while they told me how the events of that day had unfolded for them. As soon as Maxwell had hung up from his call with Nikolas, he had organized the pack to scour the town for my scent. It was actually Francis who had picked up my trail and found Tarek’s body – or what the vampires had left of it – near the car. Francis, Maxwell, Brendan, Roland, and Peter had followed the trail to the cliff where they found Nikolas in a standoff with Eli and his coven. When I fell, the wolves and Chris took down the remaining vampires and made sure none escaped, while Nikolas dove straight off the cliff after me. When I heard that, I looked at Nikolas who stood, staring out the living room window like he was watching for danger. As if he felt my eyes on him, he’d turned his head and met my gaze briefly before turning back to the window.

Everyone grew somber when Nate, Roland, and Peter told me about my memorial service and how many people had crowded the small church beside the school. The entire pack had come along with most of the school, and it was eerie and surreal hearing about the eulogies given by some of my classmates who I hadn’t even taken the time to get to know as well as I should have. Roland told me that Greg drove up from Philly for the service, and he had never seen my tough friend looking so heartbroken.

Nikolas took one look at my face and said it was too dangerous to let anyone else know I was alive. I told him I would not let Greg think I was dead and that was that. In the end we made a compromise. I would not contact Greg until I was safely ensconced at the Mohiri stronghold.

That turned the conversation to me leaving and Roland and Peter’s joy over my return from the dead dimmed when I told them where I was going. Well not where exactly, since I still didn’t know where the Mohiri lived, but that I was going to live with Nikolas’s people for a while. My friends spent another hour trying to talk me out of leaving, insisting that the werewolves would protect me and Nate. But the memory of Roland almost dying and the fear on Nate’s face when Haism took us scared me too much to take a chance of it happening again.

“I want to go,” I lied. “Nikolas says they can train me and teach me to defend myself.” At least that was one thing I could look forward to. It would be nice to not have to depend on someone else for protection.

“But how long will you be gone? And how will we know if you’re doing okay?” Peter asked.

I laughed as I walked back up to my room to grab my laptop bag and backpack. “Guys, I’m not moving to the Antarctic.” At least I hoped not. “They have phones and computers. We’ll talk so much you’ll be sick of me.”

“That’s not the same,” Roland protested, following me. “We were all supposed to go to prom together, remember.”

“I know.” I looked around my bedroom at the bare walls and found it suddenly hard to swallow.  Once I’d made up my mind to leave, I had started packing before I could change my mind. Roland and Peter had insisted on staying overnight and between the three of us, my room had been stripped bare of everything that made it mine. Now all my belongings were crammed into boxes or suitcases or sitting in piles waiting to be packed and sent on to me later.

The old couch looked lonely without the books that usually littered it. Now Oscar and Daisy lay on it watching me with sad eyes as if they knew I was leaving. It hurt to think of leaving them behind, but I had no idea where I was going. It wouldn’t be fair to them to uproot them. I knew Daisy was content here with Nate, but Oscar would miss me. Hopefully, once I was settled in my new home I could send for him.

I’d gone up to the roof a few times to call to Harper but there was no sign of the crow and I hated to leave without saying goodbye to him. He wouldn’t understand what had happened or why I’d left him. I’d left a window open up here all night and this morning in the hope that he might show. I wished I could wait until he came back, but it might be days before he put in another appearance. I was gone so long he might have given up on me and never return.

Even the imps were quiet and strangely absent and I found myself missing their shuffling and chattering behind the attic wall. I couldn’t believe I was going to miss those thieving little fiends.