“I’m not sure many girls your age could cope as well.”

“Well to be fair, it’s not like I didn’t already know this world existed. I just never realized how sheltered I was here.” I made a face. “And most girls don’t have their own bodyguards following them around.”

She watched me pensively over the top of her mug. “And how do you feel about your new relations?”

I had to think about it before I answered. How did I feel? I was still coming to terms with the things I’d learned about myself. All my life I’d known that the dark thing in my head was bad and had to be repressed but the idea that it was a demon still repulsed me. I had to keep telling myself that it did not change who I was. I didn’t know why that was so hard for me. When I looked at Nikolas and Chris I saw men, not demons. Good men if I was honest. If I wasn’t so annoyed with them for following me everywhere and if Nikolas would stop being so damn high-handed, I might actually like them. It didn’t help that Nikolas’s suspicions last night had been right on the mark and I would have been toast if he hadn’t showed up to save my life… again. Was it possible to resent someone and feel grateful to them at the same time?

“Honestly, I have no idea what to think of them. If Nikolas had his way, I’d be having Thanksgiving with them… if they even celebrate Thanksgiving. They just seem so focused on hunting, like that is all they do. I don’t think I could live like that.”

Judith nodded in understanding. The werewolves were hunters too but I’d spent enough time with them to know that they lived a normal life otherwise. Their families were close and they had regular jobs like anyone else; a far cry from the warrior lifestyle of the Mohiri.

“Judith, why do you think the vampires came to Portland in the first place with it being so close to you guys? Why would they risk it?”

“Our best guess is they were searching for someone or something. Not you,” she added quickly. “I think you were just unlucky enough get their attention.”

I pushed my eggs around with my fork. “Do you think… is it possible that my dad’s murder had anything to do with my mother being a Mohiri? I mean vampires hate the Mohiri, right? Maybe one of them came looking for her and found my dad instead.”

Judith’s hand went to her throat and her expression told me I’d hit on something. “If you know anything you have to tell me,” I begged her.

“Sara, you need to leave this to Maxwell. I can see how you would want answers about your father’s death, but he wouldn’t want you getting hurt over this.”

“I just want to know what you found. Please. I have a right to know.”

She got up and poured herself another cup of coffee then sat across from me again. “We’ve been in touch with some of our contacts around the country since Roland told us about your mother. The Mohiri are too closed off to tell us anything about her, but our network is very large and we did find some details. Not a whole lot but it’s only been a few days.”

“We know that your mother spent a lot of time in California, Texas, and New Mexico after she left you and your father. Then a week before your father was killed, we believe she was in Portland for a very short time. We have no idea why she went back or if she even saw your father while she was there.”

Judith didn’t say what both of us were thinking. It was too much of a coincidence that Madeline went back to Portland the same week that vampires showed up and killed her husband of all people. Madeline had led them to us – maybe not intentionally – but it was her fault they found us. First she abandoned us and then she led those monsters right to our door.

“Is she still alive?” I asked, almost spitting out the words.

Judith hesitated then said, “Yes. We believe she is somewhere in South America now.”

“My dad was murdered and I might as well have been killed too for all she cared,” I said with so much bitterness that I didn’t recognize my own voice. “How could he have loved someone like her?”

“I’m sure she must have had some good qualities. And as for your father, people will overlook a lot when they are in love.”

“What kind of person does something like that?” I said almost to myself. “Are all the Mohiri that unfeeling?”

Judith set down her cup. “I don’t know much about the Mohiri so I can’t speak for them but don’t judge them all by the actions of one. I will tell you that the man who gave you his coat and stood guard over you all night can’t be all that bad. Maybe he’s not as friendly or easygoing as the people you are used to, but he’s certainly not unfeeling either.”

So I hadn’t dreamed it. Her revelation confused me even more. Nikolas was like two different people in one body: the cold, hard warrior and the kind protector. It was hard to know which one would appear when he showed up.

“He feels responsible for me since he was the one who found me. I don’t think he even likes me because I don’t fall in line like a good little orphan.”

“I see.”

I got up and carried my dishes to the sink. “The Mohiri have this thing about orphans,” I explained as I rinsed my plate. “They find their orphans and raise them and train them to be warriors. Only I’m not like most orphans because I’m older. I can’t be persuaded to join the Mohiri like little kids can and now Nikolas feels like he has to watch over me until he can get me off his hands. I don’t think he knows what to do with me.”