“I…”

Roland’s eyebrows drew together as he laid down his burger. “You talked to my mom about this but you can’t talk to us?”

“It’s not like that. I only talked to your mom because she told me they were going back and tracing Madeline’s movements from the time she left us.” I twisted my paper napkin until it tore. “I think vampires followed Madeline to my dad. I don’t know why she was in Portland when he died or why they went after him, I just know it’s all related.”

“You’ve been trying to find the truth yourself?” Roland said in an accusing tone.

I nodded, not meeting their stares. They weren’t going to like what I said next and I didn’t want to see their faces when they heard it. “I wanted to look for years but I didn’t really start until I heard about the missing girls in Portland. A guy I know online who knows a lot about this stuff said he thought it was vampires. He said he heard there were vampire sightings in Portland when my dad was killed.”

“What guy? Who is he?” Roland demanded. “Please tell me you aren’t talking to some kook online.”

I glared at him defensively. “He’s not a kook and he does know a lot. I only know his screen name just like he only knows mine. And before you say anything, we’ve been talking for three years and he’s never tried to meet me or anything. He tracks vampire activity and reports it online. These guys are very serious about this stuff.”

“Guys? There’s more than one?” Peter asked.

I took a sip of my drink before answering. “Yeah, there is a whole online community. And I… um… I met a new one online last month. He says he knows something. We were supposed to meet in person but something happened and he was scared away.”

Roland’s face grew red. “You were going to meet a total stranger alone… in person? Are you out of your mind?”

“I wasn’t alone,” I said slowly. “You guys were there.”

“Wha –?” Peter started.

“No fucking way!” Roland swore a little too loud, drawing the disapproving stares of some people across the food court. “The Attic? You were going to meet him at the Attic – the same night a vampire just happened to attack you? You don’t think that was a bit too coincidental?”

Peter paled and his freckles stood out even more. “Holy Shit, Sara.”

“It wasn’t a setup,” I argued, knowing that it looked suspiciously like one. “He told me later that he didn’t show because he got wind of some vampires there. He is seriously scared of them. He won’t try to meet again unless it’s broad daylight and somewhere public.”

I probably shouldn’t have said that last part. Roland’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head and he made a sound deep in his chest. “You are not going to meet this guy.”

“If he can tell me what happened to my dad then I will meet him,” I responded stubbornly. I hated arguing with my friends but I would not back down from this now that I was so close.

“You have to let Dad take care of this,” Peter pleaded. “Please.”

I looked from Peter to Roland. “What would you do if you were in my shoes? What if it had been one of your parents? You can’t tell me you wouldn’t do everything to get to the bottom of it.”

“Yes but –”

“No buts, Peter. You wouldn’t sit back and let someone else handle it and neither can I.”

Roland shredded the top of his hamburger bun without even realizing he was doing it. “So you only went to the Attic with us to meet someone.”

The betrayal in his voice made me want to say no, but I couldn’t lie to him anymore, not about this. “I asked him to meet me there after you asked me to go.”

Roland let out a breath and I could tell he was hurt and thinking that I only went with them to meet someone else. “I’m sorry,” I said softly.

The silence at the table hung over us like a shroud and I felt a small tear appear in the trust we’d always had between us. My deceit hurt them and now they were wondering what else I’d lied about.

“I swear it was the only time I ever did anything like that.”

“Why didn’t you tell us or ask us for help?” Roland demanded. “Don’t you trust us?”

“Why didn’t you tell me what you were?” I countered.

He shifted on his chair. “That’s different. We thought you were human. We were protecting you.”

“I thought you were human too. I didn’t want to drag you into this.” It wasn’t enough to ease their hurt feelings but it was the truth.

We sat there quietly for several long minutes, each of us toying with our food and waiting for someone to say something to break the uncomfortable silence. I didn’t know what to say to fix things between us.

The quiet was shattered by a small group of girls who clamored around a table nearby. Glancing their way, I saw Faith, Jessie, and Marie along with two other girls from school. The five of them chattered and giggled loudly, making enough noise to draw annoyed stares from the other customers.

It didn’t take Faith long to spot us and her smile fell away as she glared at me. The other girls followed her stare and their laughter died as they looked at me with narrowed eyes. Their lame attempt at intimidation was so comical I almost burst out laughing. If they had seen half the things I’d seen in the last month alone, they’d be at home cowering under their beds. Sometimes I wondered if I should be doing that myself. I returned their stares until one by one, the girls turned away to whisper amongst each other.