Jordan nodded. “I think you’ve earned a good night’s sleep. Too bad no one but us will know what you did tonight.”

“For now. I’m going to tell Nikolas everything when I think he can handle it.”

Laughter filled the kitchen. “Just let us know when you plan to do it so we can be far away,” Jordan quipped.

I gave them a tired smile. “Good night, guys.”

It felt strange entering my quiet bedroom after everything that had gone down tonight. I was so overwhelmed by it all that I barely knew what I was doing as I showered and got ready for bed. I burrowed under the comforter and snuggled my pillow, exhausted but happy. Nikolas was safe, and he would be home tomorrow.

My sleep was deep and restful, unmarred by a single bad dream. Sometime around dawn I awoke to a hand touching my face and an achingly familiar caress against my mind. “Nikolas,” I said thickly, trying to come fully awake.

“Shhh. Go back to sleep.” His lips brushed my forehead. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

I felt his heat pulling away and I made a sound of protest. Reaching for him, my fingers slid through his soft hair as I tugged him back to me. My lips found his warm, full mouth and I kissed him urgently, driven by the joy of having him home and the fear of almost losing him. The intoxicating smell of him and the brush of his day-old beard against my face sent shivers racing through me. I wanted nothing else in that moment but to lose myself in him.

The bed dipped as he stretched out, half beside me, half over me. My stomach careened wildly when he whispered my name against my lips and took possession of them. His mouth was firm and demanding, yet gentle. I felt drunk from the taste of him, and my hands clung desperately to his hard arms.

My breath hitched as his hand left my shoulder to slide in a feather light caress down my ribs and rest against my bare stomach where my T-shirt had ridden up. The heat of his hand was like a brand against my skin, and a small noise escaped me.

Nikolas made a sound deep in his chest and broke the kiss, moving his head until it lay beside mine. I could feel his short warm breaths against my ear and his heart beating as hard as mine. After a minute, he lifted his head and his dark eyes peered down into mine. “I should go.”

Confusion and hurt flared in my chest. “Okay,” I whispered hoarsely.

He groaned and rested his forehead lightly against mine. “Jesus, Sara, don’t look at me like that or I’ll never be able to leave.”

“I don’t want you to leave.”

“I know, but you’re also not ready for where this is headed.”

“I...” I wanted to deny it, but he was right. Getting caught up in a few heated kisses didn’t make me ready to go farther. It wasn’t that I believed you had to wait for marriage or anything. I just didn’t feel like I was ready for that level of intimacy.

He rolled away until he lay on his back beside me. I heard a deep sigh and then his hand reached for mine. “I’m sorry about what happened before I left. I didn’t handle it well and I hated leaving you upset. I know how important it is to you to find Madeline, and I should have known you’d expect to be there when we brought her in. But I’m also glad I listened to my gut and didn’t take you with us. This was a rough one.”

I know. “I was scared for you.”

I felt his face turning toward me, and I turned mine so our eyes met.

“That’s how I felt the whole time I was looking for you,” he said gruffly. “I was afraid something would hurt you before I found you.”

“I’m sorry.”

He exhaled deeply. “I wish I could explain how it feels, this need to protect you, and how crazy it makes me when you’re in danger. The bond is a part of me – us – and it’s not something I can just turn off. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

I gave him a sad smile. “I’m trying to, but it’s hard. Put yourself in my shoes. How would you feel if you suddenly lost your freedom and had people telling you what to do? I don’t want to be pampered and taken care of. I’m not fragile, and I don’t break that easily.”

“I know you’re not.” He lifted our joined hands and held them to his chest. “Your spirit and independence make you who you are, Sara, and I never want to take them from you.”

I didn’t reply. How could I tell him his restrictions were slowly doing that?

“All I’ve known for a long time is how to be a warrior and how to command others. That’s worked with everything else in my life. It’s taken me a while to learn that won’t work with us.”

“You figured that out, huh?” I teased, and his answering smile lightened the mood in the room. “Do you think you’ll ever get past it, this overprotectiveness?”

He sighed again. “I’ll never stop worrying about your safety, but I think it will get easier.”

“When I prove I can defend myself, will you treat me like the other warriors?”

He laughed softly. “I can safely say I will never see you as one of the other warriors. But I will try to be less of a tyrant. And when you demonstrate you are ready for a mission, I won’t stop you from going on one. I guarantee I won’t like it, but I won’t hold you back.”

“Thank you.” It was a baby step, but one in the right direction. I wished I could tell him my secret, but I didn’t want to ruin this moment. Soon.

He unclasped our hands and held his arm above my head. I didn’t need more invitation than that, and I moved over to snuggle against his side with one arm across his chest. He stroked my hair as he often did, and I sighed blissfully.