I had thought I could rise on my own and depart, but found that I did need the Fool’s assistance, at least to stand. Once I was up on my feet, I teetered along precariously, feeling as if I tottered on stilts. Walls loomed near and then far, the floor heaved gently beneath me like the deck of a ship when she rides a slow swell.

“I can manage from here,” I told the Fool once we were outside the door. He shook his head.

“You are too vulnerable to be left alone just now,” he told me quietly, and then linked arms with me, and began some nonsensical discourse. He put a fine front of camaraderie on helping me up the stairs and to my door. He waited, chattering on, while I unlatched it and then followed me in.

“I told you, I am all right,” I said with some annoyance. All I wanted to do was lie down.

“Are you? And how is my king? What did you do to him, back there?”

“I did nothing!” I gritted out as I sat down on the foot of my bed. My head was beginning to pound. Elfbark tea. That was what I needed just now. I had none.

“You did! You asked his permission, and then you took his hand. And in the next instant you were both gasping like fish.”

“Just an instant?” It had felt like hours to me. I had thought the whole evening spent.

“No more than three heartbeats.”

“Ooh.” I put my hands to my temples, tried to push my skull back into one piece. Why did Burrich have to be gone just now? I knew he would have elfbark. The pain demanded I take a chance. “Do you have any elfbark? For tea?”

“With me? No. But I could go beg some of Lacey. She keeps a horde of all sorts of herbs.”

“Would you?”

“What did you do to the King?” The trade he offered was plain.

The pressure in my head built, pushing out on my eyes. “Nothing,” I gasped. “And what he did to me is for him to tell. If he chooses. Is that plain enough for you?”

A silence. “Perhaps. Are you really in that much pain?”

I lay back very slowly on my bed. Even putting my head down hurt.

“I’ll be back shortly,” he offered. I heard the door of my room open and shut. I lay still, eyes closed. Gradually the sense of what I had eavesdropped on formed itself in my mind. Despite my pain, I sorted information. Regal had spies. Or claimed to. Brawndy was a traitor. Or so Regal claimed his supposed spies had informed him. I suspected Brawndy was as much a traitor as Kettricken was. Oh, the spreading poison. And the pain. Suddenly I remembered the pain. Had not Chade bid me simply to observe as I had been taught to find an answer to my question? It had been plain before me all the time, if only I had not been so blinded with fears of traitors and plots and poisons.

A disease was eating King Shrewd, gnawing him away from the inside. He drugged himself against the pain. In an effort to have some corner of his mind to himself, a place where the pain could not come and rob him. If someone had just told me of that a few hours ago, I would have scoffed. Now, lying on my bed, trying to breathe softly because the slightest movement triggered another wave of agony, I could understand. Pain. I’d only been enduring this for a few minutes, and I’d already sent the Fool running for elfbark. Another consideration pushed itself into my mind. I expected this pain to pass, that by tomorrow I would rise up free from it. What if I had to face it every moment for the rest of my life, with the certainty that it was devouring what hours were left to me? No wonder Shrewd kept himself drugged.

I heard my door open and close quietly. When I did not hear the Fool begin to make tea, I forced my eyes open. Justin and Serene stood inside the doors of my room. They stood frozen, as if in the lair of a savage beast. When I shifted my head slightly to look at them, Serene’s lips actually drew back as if she snarled. Within me, Nighteyes snarled back. The tempo of my heart suddenly increased. Danger here. I tried to loosen my muscles, to be ready to take any action. But the pain bludgeoning my head bade me only be still, be still. “I didn’t hear your knock,” I managed to say. Each word was edged in red as my voice echoed in my skull.

“I didn’t knock,” Serene said harshly. Her clearly spoken words were as painful to me as a clubbing. I prayed she didn’t know how much power she had over me just then. I prayed for the Fool to come back. I tried to appear nonchalant, as if I kept to my bed only because I considered Serene’s visit so unimportant.

“Did you need something from me?” I sounded brusque. In reality, each word cost too much effort to waste even one.

“Need? Never,” Serene scoffed.

Skill nudged me. Clumsily. Justin, prodding at me. I could not repress the shudder that went through me. My king’s use of me had left my mind as raw as a bleeding wound. Justin’s awkward Skilling was like having cat’s claws rake my brain.