Author: J.D. Tyler

He might have wished for death back then, had he known that he would carry a piece of that devil's spawn for the rest of his life.

Aric finished his story and reached out, gently wiping Rowan's tears from her pretty face. "I'm so sorry. I did what I could for your brother and the rest, but it wasn't enough. It never will be."

"No, don't say that," she protested. "You fought hard, all of you did. And you killed the last one, giving the survivors the chance to be rescued and begin a new life."

"Such as it is." He winced at the bitterness in his tone.

"Is it really so bad?" she questioned softly. "This career, this life you've built here with your friends?"

He studied her earnest expression, drowned in those brown eyes. She was so close, so beautiful. She smelled so freaking good he wanted to leap from the bed and take her like the beast he was.

More than that, he wanted to know Rowan-on the inside as well as out.

A small smile curved his lips and he answered seriously. "No, I guess it isn't. Especially now."

Slowly, she returned his smile.

They spent the afternoon talking about nothing, really. But despite the circumstances of their meeting, Aric couldn't remember when he'd enjoyed a day more. When she finally left, he could think of only one thing.

When he'd get to see her again.

Chapter Eight

Aric flat out refused to spend one more second in that damned uncomfortable infirmary bed. They were torture devices specially designed to make the patient want to get well fast, just so he could get the hell off that stupid mattress that must've been designed for a ten-year-old. His fucking heels hung off the end, unless he hitched his knees to the side.

Instead, he sat in a visitor's chair near the window and gazed out longingly at the forest, itching to go for a good run. He would, too, as soon as Melina got her skinny butt in here and let him out of the loony bin. Two days he'd been here since the doc had made him come back. Now he knew how animals in the zoo must feel, and his wolf growled in agreement.

The door opened and Melina stepped inside.

He jumped to his feet, grinning. "Just the lady I wanted to see. Let me out!"

She didn't return his enthusiasm, but met his eyes calmly, shoving her hands in the pockets of her lab coat. "Aric, sit down. We need to talk."

"Talk while you sign my release papers."

"I'm being serious."

"Uh-oh." His smile wilted. "What's up?"

"Your temperature, again. By two tenths of a degree."

"That's all? Jesus, doc, you scared me." He plucked at the ugly gown. "Now can I get out of this thing? It's a little breezy and-"

"Aric. Sit down."

Her steely tone could wither the balls right off the toughest of men. Himself included. Swallowing hard, he planted his ass in the vinyl chair again and waited for her to get to the point.

She wasted no time, removing a flat wooden stick from a jar on the counter and moving her rolling stool so that she was situated between his knees. "Open wide."

He did, trying not to gag as she depressed his tongue and shone a light into his mouth. After a few seconds, she removed the stick and tossed it in the trash. For a minute she regarded him in silence. He fought the urge to squirm like a schoolboy in the principal's office.

"Your throat is a little red, though it wasn't yesterday. Is it sore?" she finally asked.

He blinked at her. "I don't know. I hadn't really noticed."

"Swallow."

He did, trying not to wince.

"Does that hurt?"

"No."

"Aric."

"Okay, some."

She sighed. "I'm going to run a culture, but I doubt anything will show up, since shifters don't contract human diseases."

"Then why bother?" He just wanted out.

"Because it could be something we haven't seen before in your kind. Or it could be an indicator of an altogether different issue."

His brow furrowed. "Such as?"

"It could just be that your body is out of whack from the abuse you endured at Chappell's site."

"But you don't think so." This really was starting to worry him. "Come on, Melina. It's not like you to beat around the bush."

"No, it isn't. Bear with me another minute." She paused, leaning forward. "Your temperature was normal when you were first rescued. We were worried about your body's condition, but it was fairly good, all things considered. This didn't start until you got home. Specifically, when you met Rowan."

He stared at the doc, his pulse leaping. "What does she have to do with me?"

"Do you feel a pull toward her? Does your wolf?"

Ah, shit.

He affected a smirk. "Are you kidding? The woman's totally hot. And babes in uniform? Damn, there is a God."

"You know what I mean. Do you? What if I were to inform you-and your wolf-that I'd seen her and Zan involved in a deep, passionate kiss, right before they disappeared into the forest?"

"What!" He was on his feet, hands shifting to claws, fur sprouting before he realized it. His voice emerged in a snarl. "Where is that motherfucker? I'll tear his asshole out through his throat and feast on his carcass!"

He spun, but before he could dash out the door, a firm hand grabbed his biceps. "I didn't say that's what happened. I asked you what if? And I believe you answered my question."

As he turned to stare at her, it slowly dawned on him that he'd been baited. The wolf inside him hadn't been able to tolerate the idea of another man touching what belonged to him-

"Oh, fuck me." The fur and claws retracted and he walked to his chair, sat down hard. Slumping, he braced his elbows on his knees and hung his head, staring at his bare feet. "Is this what happened to Jax when he met Kira?"

"I can't discuss that because of confidentiality, but I can tell you that your symptoms are consistent with what we understand so far about the changes a male wolf shifter experiences when he finds his mate."

"But she and I just met! Don't get me wrong, I really like her-but I don't want a mate!" Even as he said this, however, a miserable ache formed in his gut. His wolf paced inside, anxious. Unsettled.

"I have a feeling your wolf doesn't care what his human half wants," she said. Her tone was kinder than normal, which said a lot about the seriousness of his situation. "Am I right?"

"Yeah. He's about to shred me from the inside out." Leaning back in his chair, he stared at the ceiling. "I can't fucking believe this. Any of the other guys would make a better mate for Rowan than I would."

His stomach lurched and he fought not to be sick at the thought of her with someone else. And not to tear the furniture apart.

"Why's that?"

His laugh was bitter, but he couldn't help it. "I'm not settling-down material, my friend. My family was so freakin' dysfunctional, we made the cast of Married with Children look like the damned Cleavers. I know absolute shit about how to make another person happy, or what a family is supposed to be like."

"I don't agree. The men you work with, they're your family," she pointed out. "You're close as brothers, and blood doesn't matter when it comes to the people who really have your back."

That threw him, and he pondered it for a long moment. "Okay, that's true," he said slowly, looking at the doc. "But they're guys. I don't have to worry about being bound to one of them for the rest of our lives."

"Actually, we have no proof that one of you couldn't have another man for a mate."

He cleared his throat. "Well, to each his own. I've got nothing against folks finding happiness with their same sex and all, but I happen to know that's definitely not my case."

The barest hint of humor softened her face. "Anyway, the point is that you have a family right here, one that obviously means a lot to you, though you do your best to hide your feelings behind a wall of sarcasm. It's not as if you can't learn to be a good, loving mate to your female."

He wasn't so sure about that, but figured it best not to get into that debate. "What happened to Jax... will it be the same for me?" His friend had gotten really sick before the couple decided to bond. Aric hated being ill, but he just didn't see how mating would ever work out for the likes of him. What woman needed his shit?

"You're already symptomatic, with the sore throat and fever, which seems to accompany the start of the mating urge. The longer you put off biting your female, taking her as your Bondmate, the sicker you'll become. Of course, if you do bite her, then there's a possibility she'll turn into a shifter as well."

"Isn't there a chance I could just wait it out? Get well?"

"Based on what I've seen so far, and what Nick has told me as a born shifter who's lived with his wolf a lot longer than all of you have..." She sighed. "It doesn't seem likely."

Deadly calm settled over him. There was no point in stressing about the future when he'd just learned he didn't have one. "Listen to me and listen good," he said in a low voice. "Rowan is not to know what's going on with me. I won't have her pushed into mating with me like Kira was with Jax. You understand? Rowan is a good woman and she doesn't deserve to be saddled with this life, or me."

"Aric, it's not such a bad existence-"

"No. You tell Rowan, or anyone else, about this and I'll leave. For good."

"Nick will know, eventually. No one will have to inform him."

"He's different. But the same rule applies to him."

"Try telling that to Nick," she said drily. "He's not bound by the same oath of confidentiality as I am."

"I'll deal with that when and if he confronts me."

Melina fell silent for a moment, studying him, suddenly looking older than her years. "I honestly hope you reconsider before it's too late." He didn't answer. "Okay, I'm going to get that culture, and when it comes back clear, I'll release you."

"Thanks."

She left to get the kit she needed, and he sat there staring out the window once again. Only he wasn't nearly as excited as before about the prospect of getting out. He was simply trading one prison for another, this time being held hostage by his own body. With a sigh, he slumped in his chair and covered his face with one hand.

I'm going to die. After the hell in Afghanistan. After all those weeks of torture, praying for rescue, and death finds me, anyway-in the form of my mate. Ain't fate a bitch?

Melina returned. "Let's get this done so you can get going."

In less than a minute, she'd swabbed inside his throat with the end of a long stick and taken it away. In fifteen more she was back, announcing that as expected, he had no viruses or bacteria to account for the sore throat and fever. His blood work was fine, too. He was healed from his time in captivity.

"One last thing," she said, leveling him with a firm look. "When you find yourself unable to perform on the team, remove yourself from duty or I will have to go to Nick."

"How long do I have before I get to that point?"

"I wish I had a firm answer," she said grimly. "The pace of decline seems to vary. But it will happen, unless you talk to Rowan. Explain to her."

"I can't." God. Losing his team and his place among them would truly be the end of him. When that happened, he would shift and disappear into the Shoshone, let nature take its course.

Melina signed his paperwork, no doubt believing that when push came to shove, he'd change his mind and bite Rowan, risk turning her into a wolf, to save his own hide. The doc was wrong. He wasn't that big an asshole, no matter what people might think.