“You got yourself in a very unlucky bind, fella,” the first man said as he produced a knife from his pocket. “Was paid to do this. It ain’t personal!”

“Please,” I shrieked.

Oh, my God, he was going to hurt him. They were going to make me watch him die!

“Please!”

Why wasn’t Heath fighting?! He just stared at me, like it was far more important to keep me safe than to try and fight him.

“Fucking do something!” I hollered at him. “Don’t let them hurt you! Heath, do –”

The first man slapped me hard against the face with the back of his hand, and I toppled sideways, landing hard on my hip. My ears rang from the pain, and my world spun for a moment. A scream was heard, but it felt like it was coming from a distance. I put my hand to my ear and looked to where Heath was, feeling disoriented.

Both men were on top of him, keeping him pinned face first against the floor, and he was fighting hard now. They had to use all their strength to keep him down as he thrashed his body. The veins in his neck protruded, the look of despair and anger flashed through him as the man’s arm went around his neck. With a hand holding the knife, the man cut straight into Heath’s throat, from ear to ear.

I screamed as it slid across him, and the second it was done, the two men jumped back and took off out of the apartment, leaving the door wide open.

Kayden was deafening now, and I shook as I clutched him to me. I hurried to Heath’s side just as he rolled over on his back, his hands grabbing at the blood pooling out of him. I set Kayden down and threw my shirt off, rushing to press it against the deep gash that was bleeding him dry. His body jerked beneath me, and his eyes connected with mine. He opened his mouth, but no words came out.

“Oh, my God! Oh, my God!” I repeated over and over again. “Help! Somebody, please! Help!”

I had to get a phone, but I didn’t want to leave his side. He was bleeding so much. Bleeding everywhere! He opened his mouth again and tried gasping in air, and I don’t remember what I did! I don’t remember what I said! I just screamed for help and cried helplessly.

I was useless. So fucking USELESS! I could do nothing!

“Allie!” a voice shouted from behind me.

Marko dropped down beside me, his eyes widened in horror as he dialled a number for help. I cried, begging him to do something. To help Heath somehow!

He was dying. He was dying.

And I just wanted him back! I wanted him in my arms! I wanted him to lie to me some more if it meant being with him! I needed him to hold on. I’d take any form of Heath so long as he survived!

“Please, don’t go,” I begged him, my tears hitting his face. “Please, I love you too much. Please! I need you! I need you, Heath! Please!”

But the blood just kept on pooling. He held my gaze, and in a few short moments, his eyes dimmed more and more.

Soon, he wasn’t staring at me anymore.

He was slipping away.

PART TWO

You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of. – Jim Rohn

Twelve

Ryker

Freedom.

I’d longed for it the second I stepped into prison. But stepping out now and seeing the black Mercedes parked on the side of the road right in front of the gates, I realized – whether you were in prison or out – freedom wasn’t a tangible thing. Not for me anyway. I couldn’t taste it. I couldn’t hold it. I couldn’t even experience it when this was the life I was going back to.

I didn’t go to the car just yet. Instead, I ran my hand through my three inch beard and stared up at the sky as a plane tore through it. The sound of its engines rumbled through the clouds, and all I could imagine was jumping on a jet and leaving all this behind.

Where would I go? Somewhere tropical, maybe? Panama? I always wanted to go there. No real reason, either. It just sounded nice.

I was half-tempted to turn around and ask to serve my full sentence. At least within those four walls, I was respected. Nobody fucked with me, even long after Reaper had gone. I was left alone, and even though I started fights from time to time just to keep the ‘mad hatter’ alive, I was never put in solitary. Reaper had bought that much good grace when it came to me, and as a result I was granted early release due to “good behaviour.” It also helped my case that the prison was overcrowded. Kicking me out had its perks.

I let out a defeated sigh and slowly made my way to the car. I opened the door and slid into the black leather seat. The driver, a man I didn’t recognize, began driving without a word said to me. I stared out the window and took everything in – all the places I hadn’t seen in years. I saw people walking the streets, disappearing into shops and restaurants. All of them living their lives unperturbed. I pressed my fingers against the glass as he drove further away from Hedley.

I felt dead inside for so long. I’d hoped being out and seeing places and people would have brought back some feelings. But so far, I felt nothing. It was pointless expecting an outcome, so I just exhaled long and slow and closed my eyes.

I was changed. The arrogant, self-entitled bastard I was back then had vanished into a cloud of smoke. Three years had transformed me into a completely different man.

I spent last night in my cell imagining what I’d do with my life from here on out. Imagining a whole shit load of goals I could set. But then, as the sun broke through the dark sky, the night took with it all of my hopes. I would never achieve any of that. I was nothing. A nobody. A man that was going to depend on his anger and need for revenge to make it through who knows how long in this pathetic town. Then, I was going to spend the rest of my life alone and miserable, waiting for death’s call on me.

I’d wasted a night dreaming, and now, stepping back into the real world, I felt like a fucking idiot.

Dreams never came true.

*

The cabin we congregated in looked the exact same as when I left it. There was only one car parked out front, and it was a crappy old Ford from the early 1980’s. I stepped out of the car and walked directly to the door and knocked. I heard the sounds of footsteps and sighed for the hundredth time today.

Back to it, Ryker. Like prison had never even happened.

“There you are, boy,” said Boss once he opened the door. He grinned at me and pulled me in, giving me a hearty hug and a hard pat on the back.