Allow her free reign to my complications and disease. I would have to let her see me. All of me.

And I didn’t have the power to do that. Regardless of what Jasmine thought.

Sighing heavily, I looked out over the large grassy field. Polo players were dotted about, tending to their horses beside a mismatch of caravans, floats, and cars. Tyre tracks had squelched through sodden grass, turning green to mud.

A little distance away, the polo arena was pristine and untouched, just waiting for galloping horses to tear it into a brown mess. And just beyond was a movable grandstand taking centre stage—looming over the field, offering fabulous viewpoints of the soon-to-start match.

Men and women milled about, finding their seats in the tiered chairs or making their way to the tents below which housed gourmet snacks and exclusive wines. There were no hotdog stands or cheap beer in plastic cups. These events were for the elite of England—families with a bank balance in excess of ten million pounds. Caviar, foie gras, and salmon mousse were on the finger-menu along with some of Hawksridge’s wine and vintage beer.

Nothing inferior was allowed.

I peered harder, trying to spot Nila in her black dress amongst the teaming mass of spectators.

Nothing.

What do you expect?

Kes would’ve taken her to the reserved tent on the outskirts of the food and grandstand area. We had our own private gazebo where guests were encouraged to socialise. We also offered uncut diamonds at rock bottom prices to all those we trusted.

Not only was polo beneficial for my mind-set, but it was also a brilliant day for our bank account.

When we’d arrived, I’d deliberated on how best to avoid Nila while taking her to where she needed to be. All my worrying was for nothing as Kes had appeared the moment I’d backed Wings down the ramp and hobbled him to the tethering post.

Moth was his horse, but he summoned a stable boy to attend to her while he offered to take Nila to the viewing area.

With a weighty look at me, Nila had nodded and disappeared with my brother. I hated that she went with him so easily, but at the same time, I was happy to see her go. It gave me time to get my head on straight before the match started.

Hopefully, once I’d had a day on the field with the sound of racing hooves in my ears and power in my veins, I would be better.

I would be stronger.

Moth nudged my spine. I twisted to pat the dapple grey. Nila’s reaction to the horse hadn’t escaped me. She’d melted the moment Moth had demanded attention.

I doubted she’d ever had pets growing up—her father seemed too consumed with his empire, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he put his children to work the moment they understood how to wield a pair of scissors.

The Weavers had always been the same—treating their offspring like slave-labour—getting wealthy off the toils of family who were denied a childhood.

My heart suddenly warmed. Maybe I can give Nila what she’s been missing?

Kes had no affinity with Moth. She was a good horse, came from a prestigious breeder, and the most tolerant of mares. But she was just a tool to Kes.

What would Nila do if I gave her Moth?

Would she open her heart more readily? Would she see I only meant to do what was required of me while trying to protect her from everything in my power?

Standing between the two horses, I scratched each behind their ears.

Moth was soft and kind and reliable. But she was no match for Wings. Where Moth was eager to please and fast to react, Wings had a heart similar to mine—an imposter’s heart where obedience was required but breaking the rules was the only way to survive.

Rubbing Wings down, I quickly saddled him and held his head while I fed the bit into his mouth. He stomped, pawing at the ground.

I could’ve had the stable hands tend to him.

But I wanted to do it.

It relaxed me, and with Nila in my life, I needed all the relaxation I could get.

The sun was out and today could be a good day. If only there was one other person here, it could’ve been perfect.

Pulling out my phone, I called my sister.

It rang a few times too long and the familiar panic where her safety was concerned came over me.

“Jethro? Why are you calling me—isn’t the match about to start?” Her soft voice came down the phone, sliding straight into my ear.

“You really should’ve come with us, Jaz. The sun is out and the sky is crystal clear.”

“Maybe next time.”

Maybe next time.

Her favourite expression.

Only thing was there was never a next time because she would refuse to go on that outing, too.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “Okay, well I better go. Just wanted to check on you and let you know I’ll win again and give you the crystal vase or whatever shit they give us.”

Jaz giggled. “Okay. Be safe. And remember what I said. Try to figure out a way to face what you are. No more ‘fixing’. Get that woman to love you then you can hide again.”

I didn’t want to tell her that it’d gotten to the point where I could no longer hide—even from myself.

“Sure, easy done.” My tone dripped with sarcasm. Before she could respond, I added, “See you when we get back tonight.”

Hanging up, I looked at the screen.

I spotted Kestrel striding back alone across the field. I knew he would’ve stopped to place a wager on our team in the betting gazebo.

My stomach tensed.

Nila would be on her own. Cut and Daniel would never leave the gambling tent, so I just had to hope to God that whoever was mingling in our private space would leave her alone. She’d be surrounded by Black Diamond brothers peddling illegal stones. She would be untouchable under their protection. Not to mention imprisoned if she had a lunatic idea of running.