Author: Robyn Carr

“He said he’d trust you with his life. That he has…”

“Yeah, we have that, it’s true. It’s funny with men—you can trust each other with your lives and never talk about anything personal, you know? Sometimes Preacher seems a little naive in the ways of the world.” Then remembering their talk not long ago about depression et cetera, he said, “And at other times, he makes the Grand Canyon look shallow.” He shook his head. “He can be a mystery. There’s more to Preacher than…You really care about him?”

“I do.”

“Then you be patient. He’ll come around. Paige, it’s obvious—he cares about you, too. You and Christopher. I’ve never seen him like this with anybody.”

“Maybe he wants to be sure I’m not just—”

Mike was shaking his head. “He wants to be sure of himself, Paige. Preacher’s real cautious. I think the man could be terrified of disappointing you. That’s my bet.”

“He couldn’t possibly,” she said, and a tear fell again.

Mike wiped it away. “You just have to trust me on this—he’s a bundle of nerves. He’s really good in a fight, really good in a war, and who’da guessed how good a cook he turned out to be, huh? But with women? Paige—he’s never been a hustler. I don’t know of any women. He’s never been that kind of guy. Just not a tomcat like some of the rest of us.”

“That’s one of the things I love most,” she whispered.

Mike smiled. “You give him some time, huh?”

She nodded. She smiled weakly.

Mike dropped a brotherly kiss on her forehead. “It’s going to be all right.”

“You think so?”

“Oh, yeah. Just hang in there. Don’t give up on him.” Mike thought, that lucky son of a bitch. This woman adored him. Wanted nothing so much as to make him happy all night long. “Go wash your face. I’m gonna get myself a beer.” He gave her shoulders a final squeeze, and as she turned away from him, Preacher was standing in the back door with his catch.

Paige skittered past Preacher, keeping her head down so that he wouldn’t see her tears. Preacher scowled at Mike. “Need something?” he asked.

“I need a beer before I walk over to Doc’s and let Mel torture me. Want me to get it myself?”

“Help yourself,” he said, throwing his fish in the big sink.

Jack came in right behind him. “Hey, Mike. How you feeling today?” He threw his catch on top of Preacher’s.

Mike rubbed his right upper arm with his left hand. “A little better every day. Need a hand? I have exactly one.”

“Nah, but if you want to drink your beer back here while we clean fish, you’re welcome.”

Preacher had a stuffed trout that was nothing short of amazing. It was a lot of trouble—fileting the fish, stuffing it with a delectable corn dressing, slipping it back into the trout skin and under the broiler. It was one of Paige’s favorites. He served it with spinach soufflé, warm pasta in a white garlic sauce and bread. It was good to make a meal that was labor intensive; it took his mind off things.

He’d seen her leaning against Mike; seen Mike kiss her forehead, smile and whisper to her. Well, he wouldn’t be surprised if she fell for Mike. Mike was the sexy one, the romantic one, even when he was a little scraped up. Always successfully wooing women. He’d had more women than he deserved. So, if that was how it went, that wouldn’t surprise Preacher. He’d thought from the beginning that Paige just saw in him a true friend, a man who could protect her against the world. All that business with the sweet smiles, the embraces—she was probably just ready, period. Not necessarily for Preacher.

Now it embarrassed the hell out of him what he’d said to Jack.

She made the bread. “You did good here, Paige,” he told her.

“I did exactly what you said would work,” she said. “You okay?”

“I think I got stuffed up from the rain,” he lied. “It was so cold out there today.”

“Did you take anything?”

“No, it’s okay.”

“Why don’t I go get you something. Aspirin or something.”

“Naw, forget it. I’ll be fine.”

There were only a few for dinner, typical for a rainy night. Jack sat at a table with Mel, Doc Mullins and Mike while Paige and Christopher sat at the bar with Preacher standing on the other side, coaching Christopher to eat a little more. Everyone was done before seven and Jack was picking up the plates. Mel went back to the kitchen with him where they started washing up.

“Hey, man,” Preacher said. “I got that.”

“We’re almost done here. Then we’ll get out of your hair.”

“No hurry, man. I have sweeping up to do.”

“I could get that, too,” Jack offered.

“Don’t worry about it.”

In ten minutes, Jack was holding Mel’s coat for her. Mullins was edging out the door and Paige was taking Christopher upstairs for his bath.

“You coming, Mike?” Jack asked.

“Yeah, I’ll be along in a minute.”

“Don’t overstay your welcome,” Jack advised.

“I’ll be right behind you.”

When everyone had gone, Mike moved to the bar. Preacher started putting chairs up on the tables so he could sweep. But Mike said, “Hey, Preacher, come here a minute, would you, buddy?”

Reluctantly, Preacher went around the bar. Don’t tell me now, he was mentally pleading. Don’t tell me about you and Paige. I don’t want to hear it. Just let it happen and I’ll live with it. I’ll find a way to live with it. Never really thought I had a chance, anyway.

“Have a drink with me. A short one. No pain pills today, I swear.”

Preacher got down two glasses and poured them each a shot.

“I’m gonna tell you something, and you’re going to act like you never heard it. You get me?”

“Sure,” Preacher said, throwing back the shot for courage.

“I caught your girl crying today.”

Shock settled over Preacher’s face.

“That’s right, old man. She can’t figure you out. I think she loves you, Preacher. She’s waiting. She needs some attention. You with me?”

Preacher nodded solemnly. He wasn’t going to go there with Mike.

“She thinks you don’t find her attractive. Desirable.”

“Aw, that’s crap,” Preacher said. He poured himself another shot.

“I’m telling you. You don’t have any excuses here, pal. If you don’t step up, she’s going to think you don’t want her. Don’t care about her. I’d hate it if she thought that because I’m looking at the two of you, the three of you, and I think it’d be a damn stupid shame if you three lost one another because you’re an idiot. Now, I’m not going to try to guess why it’s not happening for you two. Preacher, buddy, it’s time to make it happen.”

Preacher threw back that second shot while Mike merely lifted his, not drinking.

“I thought you were messing with my girl,” Preacher confessed.

“No, I was telling her to try to be patient with you because of your, you know, extra-low IQ.” Then he grinned at Preacher’s scowl.

“You always used to mess with anybody’s girl,” he said.

“Not just anybody’s girl, Preach. I’d never touch a brother’s woman, you should know that. Even I don’t cross that line. Even if you haven’t made it clear to Paige, you’ve made it clear to everyone else—she’s your girl. Besides, I’m no threat to you. It’s you she wants. Bad enough to make her cry about it.” Mike took in about half his drink and stood up. “Do yourself a favor, Preacher. Your girl needs you and you don’t want to let her down now. Don’t waste another minute.” He left the rest of his drink. He stared into Preacher’s eyes. “You better take care of business. You copy?”

Copy, Preacher thought. Cop talk. “Yeah. I copy.”

Preacher went upstairs to put Christopher to bed. Christopher was running around the room bare-assed, dodging his jammies; the kid loved being naked. Preacher grabbed him up, swung him around as he giggled and stood him on the bed. “Enough,” he said. “You’re going to bed.”

“Read to me,” Christopher said, bouncing.

“Your mommy is going to read tonight. Ten minutes. And then lights out.”

Preacher got him in the pajamas and gave Paige a little slap on the rump. “I’ll see you downstairs in ten.”

“Okay,” she said, a little surprised by his apparent playful mood.

Preacher, his insides tight, went to his quarters. He shaved and showered quickly. He put on a pair of sweat-pants and a T-shirt. He looked at his bed and drew the quilt down, folding it. And he thought, I’m going to think of this as something I have to do for a friend. Not for me—for her. That’s what it’ll be.

She hadn’t come downstairs yet, so he stirred up the fire a little bit and sat on the chair, his feet up in front of the fireplace. When she came into the room he said, “Come here, Paige.” He held out a hand to her and brought her onto his lap. He ran his big hands down her sides to her waist and leaned toward her. She met his lips for a short kiss, but when he didn’t pull back, she went there again, making it long, slow and lovely. His lips opened slightly, and with the back of his hand, his knuckles, he brushed against her breast and felt her sigh against his open mouth. He put his big hand over her breast.

She rubbed a hand along his cheek. “You shaved,” she said.

“Uh-huh. I wouldn’t want to go hard on your skin with whiskers. Mmm. Paige, you have any idea how I feel about you?” She just looked at him. “How much I feel for you?”

“You haven’t really said….”

“I should’ve said. But I—” He stopped and took a breath. “It’s hard for me to put into words, but what it is…This thing I feel for you—it gets stronger every day.” She smiled into his dark eyes. “You’re so soft. So small compared to me. I want you, Paige. My God. But haven’t been sure if you’re ready…”

“I’m ready,” she said in a whisper.

“I’ve been worrying. I don’t want to do anything to hurt you. Especially after everything…Everything that came before me. Before us.”

She was stunned for a moment. Seeing the precious look in his eyes, she pressed her lips against his and kissed him again, lightly. Against his mouth she said, “You’re the gentlest man I’ve ever known. You’re not going to hurt me.”

“I’m not experienced with women,” he said. “I’m never sure of the right things to do. And I never wanted to do the right things more than with you.”

“Good.” She smiled. “We’ll make up our own right things to do. It’ll be fresh. New.”

“My buddies, they know a lot about women. I never paid much attention. Until now. Until you.”

“I know,” she said. “I love that about you.”

“You do?”

“It makes me feel really special,” she said.

“Even if I don’t know everything I should know about women…?”

“I’ll tell you what you need to know,” she whispered.

He groaned and pulled her harder against his mouth, kissing her deeply, feeling her small tongue enter even as her arms tightened around him. “You think he’s asleep?” Preacher asked, a little breathless. “Because we’re going to have to close the door.”

“He was almost asleep before I left him. He’s not going to get out of bed, John.”