Author: Cheryl McIntyre

“Oh my God, Hope,” Guy begins excitedly. “It was awesome. Christian and Adam were giving me shit again and Mason here came along and jacked Christian up.”

“You beat someone up?” Kellin asks. He’s looking up at Mason with big eyes full of awe.

Mason shakes his head and picks up the bag of Skittles again. “I didn’t beat him up. I just pushed him a little.” He glances at his brother and sighs. “It’s not okay to put your hands on someone, but the guy was being a homophobe, and that’s not okay either. Don’t tell Mom. She’ll freak out.”

Kellin nods slowly. “You should’ve beaten him up.”

I tend to agree and I award him another ten cool points.

“Hope! What the fuck?” I turn around to see Park coming straight for me. “You don’t tell me you get kicked out for fighting with Christian Dunkin and then you ignore my calls. What’s up with you?” He stops in front of me and kisses my forehead. “You know I worry about you.”

He pulls me into a hug and I return it, burying my face into his warm chest. He smells like cigarette smoke and Axe body spray. As if a little cologne is going to cover the stench. I pull away from him quickly and cross my arms. “I worry about you too.” I thrust my hand out, palm up. “Give them to me.”

Park rolls his big brown eyes, but to his credit, he doesn’t even try to play dumb. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pack of Marlboros. I wiggle my fingers and he drops the pack into my hand. He leans in to give me a kiss on the lips and I turn my head. “You stink.”

“Baby, I’m chewing gum and they’re milds.”

“Ugh. Shut up, Park. I’m completely disgusted with you right now.”

Chase comes down the aisle, hands shoved in pockets. “I told you she’d smell it on you,” he says smugly.

“You should have taken them from him,” I say.

Chase throws his hands up in defense. “I didn’t feel like getting my ass kicked. Sorry.”

Park places his hands on my hips. “Hey, we all have our vices,” he murmurs and I look up at him, shooting him a menacing glare. He better not go there. Not in front of everybody. Park’s known about my cutting for awhile now. It’s kind of hard to get that close with a guy and him not notice, but I don’t think cutting is comparable to smoking. My vice, as he likes to put it, isn’t going to give me cancer and kill me.

“I’m just saying, I’m trying,” he continues, noticing the look I’m giving him. “Nobody’s perfect.” He leans in to kiss me again and this time I let him because he’s right. I’m far from perfect and he puts up with all my shit.

Chapter 5

Mason

I can’t remember ever being jealous of another guy before. But as I stand here watching Park, with his hands on Hope’s waist, kissing her, I kind of want to put my fist through his face. Here I was thinking I had the best luck ever. I stick up for Guy, who ends up living in the same house as Hope Love. I’m invited into their little group with open arms. And Hope winds up being even cooler than I thought was possible. I mean, her iPod could be the mirror image of my own, and I have a freakishly unusual collaboration of music. She writes lyrics and plays the drums. And her sense of humor matches my smartass, sarcastic, slightly offensive jokes.

When her bedroom door opened and I saw her standing there looking sexy as hell in a Quiet Riot tee shirt, I thought I hit the freaking lottery. Twice I had stumbled upon this girl. That’s fate, right?

Wrong.

Unless fate is a cruel, twisted bastard.

Park finally takes his hands off of her and notices me standing here awkwardly as I die slowly inside. He nods. “Hey, man. What’s up?”

I nod back. “Not much.”

Chase waves two fingers through the air in greeting and I nod to him too. I’m ready to go. I know I shouldn’t be so pissed off that Park is dating her. He seems like a decent person and I have no claim to Hope, but I can’t shake it.

I have two options here. One, I can take my brother and walk away. Avoid these people like the plague. Or two, I can suck it up and act like a man. I can stop being an obsessed asshole and just be a friend. Of course, there is always option number three. I can bide my time and wait for Hope and Park to break up before I swoop in for the win. I’m really liking option three. I just hope it doesn’t crush me first.

I buy Hope the Skittles. I don’t know why I do it, but I do. We get in her car and Park and Chase follow us back to her house. As everybody piles on the couch and floor in the living room like this is their own home, I figure this is an everyday occurrence. This is the house where everyone gathers.

I sit on the floor and lean back against the part of the couch where Hope’s sitting with legs crossed, bag of candy in her lap. Guy turns on the XBOX and starts handing out controllers. Park takes one so I opt not to. I hand mine to Kellin instead and he moves closer to the big screen TV.

I rip open the bag of Skittles and take a handful before I hold it over my head for Hope. She takes it, slipping a handful of Starbursts into my hand. I tilt my head back and grin at her upside down. She smiles back. She has a nice smile. It’s real.

It occurs to me that I keep comparing her to other girls. But she’s not like any girl I’ve ever met before. I contemplate this while I eat my candy and pretend to watch the guys play Halo.

“You aren’t eating the yellow ones,” Hope says.

I turn around so I can see her face to face. “I’m saving them for last. They’re the best ones.”

She stares at me blankly and I’m trying to get a read on what’s going on inside her head. “Everyone knows the pink are the best,” she finally says. “And you eat them first so nobody else can steal them.” She reaches toward me and plucks a yellow Starburst from my hand, her lips curving as she pops it into her mouth. I’m frozen, watching her hands, her lips, her jaw as she chews on my piece of candy. “Yellow are second best, by the way.”

I finally pull myself together and thrust my hand into her lap, grab the bag and start searching for the first pink square I can find before she takes it back. I find one triumphantly and toss the rest back to her. Holding her gaze, I tear it open and place it slowly on my tongue. Then flash her what I trust is the smile that makes smart girls go a little dumb.

Hope raises an eyebrow and licks her lips. She bites into a Twizzler and as my eyes are once again glued to her mouth, I pick up on the fact that my game just got turned around on me. “Do you want some?”

I jump and try to play it off like I’m stretching. “What?”

She holds out the package. “I asked you if you would like some,” she says through a sinful smirk.

Yep. She definitely turned the tables. I nod and we stare at each other as I put my fingers into the bag. “I would love some,” I say.

The room explodes as Guy and Kellin cheer and Chase and Park mourn their loss with frustrated groans. Hope sits back and takes another bite from her Twizzler.

Who knew a bag full of cheap candy could be so freaking hot? I turn back around and press my neck against Hope’s knee like I don’t notice it’s there. She doesn’t move, which I spend some time speculating. I also wonder what her lips taste like right now. I’m sure they’re super sweet and probably a little sticky. I moan quietly in my throat and decide to focus on the game. I don’t know who’s who, but I figure it out as Kellin yells and a red team member goes down.

Dylan comes in the room and squishes himself between Hope and Guy on the couch. I nod at him. “What’s up Dill Weed?”

He gives me a dirty look and I just chuckle as I finish off my last bite of candy. Hope hits my shoulder hard. “YES!” she squeals. “Dill Weed, that’s it. You are fucking awesome, Mason Patel.”

*******

I didn’t want to leave. If I could, I would still be at Hope’s house right now. But Mom needed to go to work, so here I am, staring at my ceiling and thinking about Hope instead. I’m fairly certain one person shouldn’t consume this much of my thoughts. It’s probably unhealthy.

“Hey, Mace?” Kellin says as he pushes my door open.

“What’s up?”

He sits on the end of my bed, rolling a baseball between his hands. “Can we go there again? Back to Guy and Hope’s?”

“You like it there?”

“Yes. I had fun. And Misty is nice.”

Ah-ha. There it is. “Nice, huh? She’s pretty too.”

Kellin’s face glows red and I cover my laugh with a cough. “She’s all right,” he admits.

I know he likes her. He gave up video games to go outside and play basketball with her and Dylan. I punch him lightly in the arm. “My little brother the player.”

He moves with my fist and smiles. “Whatever.” He tosses me the ball and we start a game of catch. “You like her.”

It isn’t a question and he doesn’t say who, but I nod. “Yeah, I like her. But she’s got a boyfriend.”

Kellin rolls the ball over his palm. “Park’s not her boyfriend,” he says. He waits for my reaction. I don’t say anything, just sit up and wait for him to tell me what he knows.

“Misty said Hope doesn’t like labels, and commitments “freak” her out.” Kellin throws up finger quotes and I laugh.

“Well, what are they then?”

Kellin gives me a dubious stare. “How the hell am I supposed to know?”

“Hey, watch your mouth. Mom hears you cuss, she’ll kick my a—butt.”

“Whatever. You cuss all the time,” he points out. And it’s true, but he’s just a kid. It sounds wrong coming out of his mouth. Ah, hell. Mom was right. I need to watch my mouth. At least around little ears.

“Isn’t it past your bed time?”

He throws the ball to me and ducks out the door. “Night, Mace.”

“Night, Little Man.”

Chapter 6

Hope

Not only am I awake, but I’m actually jealous when everybody goes to school. Because I can’t go see Mason. I wonder if we have any classes together. I should have asked him. I should have given him my cell phone number. Along with email address, blog, Facebook and Twitter accounts. I have a very serious problem.

So instead of addressing it, I shuffle out to the couch for some mind numbing T.V. I eat the rest of my candy for breakfast while I watch about five hundred judge shows. Then I finally force myself to get up and take a shower.

My phone vibrates across the nightstand as I’m getting dressed, and yes, I dive across my bed in a hurry to see who the text is from. Even though I know it can’t be Mason, I’m still disappointed when Guy’s name shows up.

Guy: GUESS WHO’S BEEN ASKING ABOUT U?

I bite my lip and smile. I know exactly who he’s talking about. This is the kind of thing that freaks me out. Big time. When a dude shows interest in me, I usually run. It took me a year to hook up with Park. The only reason I didn’t scare him off is because he’s as demented as I am. Also he’s in the band and best friends with Guy, so we were pretty much stuck with each other. Even with Park I refuse to make it official. Not that either of us are seeing anybody else. I suppose we’re kinda, sorta like a couple, just without any labels, but it makes me feel better to have boundaries, and Park plays along.

For some reason, I’m not freaking out right now. I’m excited. I text back.

Me: UM, WHO?

Guy must have been waiting for me because his response is immediate.

Guy: MASON <3 PATEL! YUM!

I drop to my bed and sigh. If he’s asking about me then he must be interested. Not that I hadn’t suspected that yesterday, but I wasn’t sure if he just had one of those personalities. All flirt, all the time. He likes me enough to want more info and now I’m wondering what he’s been asking and what people have been telling.