I hold my breath and hope he can’t see right through me.

“Really? I’m not surprised, Pen. You are the smartest, most talented person I know. But I hate the fact that you have to send me money. And speaking of school, have you heard about grad school yet?”

“No, not yet,” I say, telling him only the second lie I’ve ever told him in my life. The second of what I know are many more to come. “But we can’t think about that right now.”

“We have to think about it,” he says. “You have a real chance of getting in. I don’t want you turning down an opportunity like that because of me.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when and if we come to it, Denver.”

“Yeah, but you and I both know that because of my stupidity, you won’t be able to afford it even if you do get in.”

I can hear the self-abhorrence in his voice. I know he beats himself up every day over what happened.

“Where there’s a will, there’s a way, big brother.”

“How can you still be so optimistic after everything?”

“I guess I just believe that everything will work out in the end.”

He sighs into the phone. “I wish I could believe that, too. But right now, let’s just say you are the only thing keeping me from slashing my wrists.”

I stop walking and sit on a nearby bench, a viscous knot forming in my throat that’s keeping me from speaking. I’ve already lost my parents. I can’t imagine a world without my brother.

“Don’t worry, Pen. I’m not being serious. Not really.”

“You can’t say things like that,” I tell him, tears rolling down my cheeks.

“Shit. I’m sorry. That was a dick thing to say. I’m not going to off myself. I promise. It’s just that things really suck right now.”

Denver lost a lot of friends when he lost all their money. And his girlfriend of two years left him just because people started hating her for being with him. He has no friends, no family, no me. He’s all by himself with no way to leave. I guess I’m not surprised that the thought of ending his life has crossed his mind.

Even if I do pay off his debts, he’ll still be on probation and unable to leave Missouri. So, no matter how much I want to continue my education at Juilliard, I’ve considered not doing it. I never planned on staying in New York forever anyway. And sometimes family is more important.

“Hang in there, Denver. Things will get better.” I stand up and continue to make my way to the rehearsal hall. “I have to go practice now. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yeah, later,” he says.

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

“I’m not going to slash my wrists, Pen.”

“Or go sky diving without a parachute? Or put a plastic bag over your head?”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“Promise me, Denver.”

“Jeez, fine. I promise.”

“Twin promise?”

He laughs. We haven’t made a twin promise since we were kids. We always said twin promises were better than any other promises. They were promises that couldn’t be broken no matter what.

“Twin promise,” he says.

“Okay, good.”

“Do me a favor and record something for me today. Just a minute or two of your practice. I need something to cheer me up and hearing you play always does the trick.”

I smile. “You got it. Any requests?”

“Elton John?”

“You do remember I’m a classical pianist, don’t you?”

He laughs. Hearing him laugh again makes me smile. “Aspen, you can play anything by anyone and we both know it.”

“Okay. Elton John it is. Bye.”

I open the door to the practice room and put my bag on the floor. I place my phone on the table next to the piano and then I run my fingers lightly across the keys.

I love the piano. I’ve loved it since the day my parents inherited a baby grand from my great uncle. I was only four years old. I don’t remember it as well as my parents did, but they used to tell me that from the moment I sat on the bench and touched the keys, they knew I had something special. I’d never played before, yet I could put together a tune.

I hit record on my phone and then I sit down and get lost in my passion.

Chapter Seven

Sawyer

Why the hell did our first away series have to be in Kansas City? The whole time we were there, I felt like fate was staring me in the face, challenging me.

While a lot of the other guys were busy partying and scoping out women, I was looking at our surroundings, checking out the city I’m doing my damnedest to stay away from. Who the hell wants to live in the dead freaking center of the United States? What’s the draw?

I came to the conclusion that there isn’t one. And it’s all the more reason to toe the line and not screw anything up.

On the plane, I pull up the new contract on my phone and read through it again. Sarah added a few things we hadn’t discussed. Like Aspen being let out of the contract with full payment if I sleep with anyone. And, surprisingly, she added a section about Sebastian Briggs. Not only to cover what we’d agreed to about helping find him a place to live, but clauses concerning my relationship with him. As in, he’s to be included in social gatherings and we’re to behave like old buddies.

I’m not sure why she put that in there, but maybe it’s so the tabloids don’t accuse Aspen of cheating on me with him since they’re bound to discover they are roommates.

My eyes wander over the section that Aspen insisted on adding about no sex. No sex with her or anyone.

I shake my head, still wondering how she didn’t remember that night. I just don’t recall her being that drunk. Should I have told her what happened? If I had, maybe she’d have left that part out of the contract and I wouldn’t have to live with blue balls for the next six months. On the other hand, she may have thought I’d taken advantage of her and nixed the whole damn thing.

I’ve thought about that night more times than I’d like to admit. I’m drawn to her, there’s no denying that. But I’m not a fool. I know she’ll only be pretending to like me. In reality, she thinks I’m an asshole. And she’s right. I am. It’s for the best, anyway. Because anything other than a fake relationship is out of the question.

I look at Caden and Brady in the seats flanking mine, and know I need to start the ball rolling. Sarah assured me that both Aspen and Sebastian signed the contracts. So I guess there’s no time like the present.

I get their attention and they pull out their earbuds.

“So … I met a girl,” I say.

Brady leans forward, looking around me to Caden. They share a look.

“What do you mean you met a girl?” Caden asks.

“Just what I said. I met a girl. Last week. She goes to Juilliard. Smart. Plays piano.”

I try hard not to laugh as I look at their faces. Brady’s jaw has gone slack and Caden has narrowed his brows in confusion.

“Did he say …?” Brady asks Caden.

“Yup. I believe he did.”

“What’s the catch?” Brady asks, looking at me suspiciously.

Yeah. That’s pretty much how I suspect everyone will take the news. It’s why Aspen and I will have to try hard to be convincing.

“I’d like you guys to meet her. Tomorrow, after the game. Bring your wives over.”

“You want us to meet her? And you want us to bring Murphy and Rylee?”

Caden looks at me like I asked him to go to the moon.

Brady puts his hand on my forehead, checking for a fever. I swat it away. “Cut the shit,” I say. “Just come over, okay? And don’t make a big deal about it. It’s not what you think.”

The flight attendant tells us to buckle up and prepare for landing. I put my earbuds in, letting the guys know I’m done with the conversation. I’ll answer all their questions tomorrow night.

~ ~ ~

I always have mixed feelings driving up I-95 back towards my hometown of New Haven. It’s the place where I grew up – which is probably why I love it and hate it at the same time.

As I get closer, I see the signs for Yale University. Yale students make up a fourth of the population of this modest town. My father was a janitor there for thirty years. It’s where he met my mother, who worked in food services until they got married. After they married, he wanted to support her, so she quit her job.

I still can’t imagine supporting a family on what he must have made, but he did it. We didn’t live in a nice house. The heat didn’t always work properly. Christmases and birthdays were sparse. But he said he loved my mom too much to have her working. Raising me and taking care of him was a full-time job. And she did it well. My mother was an amazing woman.

I pass the Yale New Haven Hospital where she died, and I try not to look at the large complex. It’s been fifteen years since I was there. Fifteen years since I lost her. I didn’t even bother to go when they called me about my dad a few years ago. And I didn’t feel guilty about it either. She was the one who held our family together, not him.

I pull into the driveway, tired from my flight and ninety-minute drive. I see the curtains moving in the living room window and then Danny’s face appears, lighting up with a huge smile when he sees me get out of the car.

Before I’m to the front door, he rips it open and runs out to greet me. He almost tackles me to the ground with his hug. I laugh. “I’m happy to see you too, buddy.”

“Daniel!” Lucy yells from the house. “You are not to run outside without telling me, do you hear me?”

“Sorry, Mommy. Look! He’s here,” he says excitedly.

“I can see that,” she says. “Hi, Sawyer, how are you?”

“Fine. Tired.”

“You didn’t have to make the drive. I know you’re busy.”

I shake my head. “No. I did. I promised him. I’m not about to let him down.”