“Because they aren’t you. People are waiting for you to screw up. They are waiting to prove that an old dog doesn’t learn new tricks. And the women – none of them want you to change, not unless they can be the one to break you.”

“Break me?”

“Settle you down.”

“Is that what you want to do? Settle me down?”

“Settle down Sawyer Mills?” she says with distant eyes. “I’m not sure I would dare to try.”

I stare at her and try to gauge the sincerity of her words. But I’m calling bullshit because her eyes don’t lie. And her eyes are telling me a much different story than her mouth.

I hear the oven timer go off upstairs. Aspen points at the ceiling. “Come on, let’s go eat.”

Chapter Thirty

Aspen

Tears of pride fill my eyes when I look at Bass in his dress blues. He’s graduating from fire school today. He’s fulfilling his life-long dream.

That’s not to say he doesn’t love guitar. He does. He’s very passionate about it and plays almost daily. But ever since he was young, he’s dreamed of fighting fires. However, his parents are both academics who are heavily involved in the arts and they convinced him to go to Juilliard.

I’m glad he did or we’d never have met. Despite the fact that we haven’t been hanging out as much lately, he’s still my very best friend. And despite the fact that he declared his feelings for me, I’m pretty sure I’m still his.

I pull him in for a hug. “I’m so damn proud of you.”

“Don’t smear your girly black eye crap on my nice shirt or white gloves,” he jokes.

I swat his arm. “Shut up.”

“I’m really glad you came, Penny.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world. You know that. Sawyer’s coming, too, but he had a game so he might not get here before the ceremony.”

“He shouldn’t go out of his way,” he says.

“He likes you, Bass. Of course he’s going to come.”

Sometimes I wonder if it hurts Sebastian to see Sawyer and I together. Although he’s one of the few people who knows about our arrangement, he’s also well aware of how I feel about Sawyer.

I’ve often thought about how much easier life would be if I’d fallen in love with Bass instead. There would be no drama. No conflicting feelings. No inevitable heartbreak. He’s such a great guy. A better man than Sawyer by most people’s standards. He’s handsome, funny, and very passionate. Brooke is lucky to have him. I hope she knows that.

Bass introduces me to a few of his fellow graduates and then Brooke joins us. She snakes her arm around Sebastian’s waist, almost as if to mark him. She’s always been suspicious of us, as are most people. Nobody believes that a man and a woman can live together and be best friends without having some kind of sexual relationship.

Brooke is very sweet, but when it comes to Bass, she’s super territorial.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” she asks, never failing to mention my relationship in front of Bass.

“He’s at a game, but he’s coming over right after. I just hope he makes it.”

“Don’t worry,” Brooke says. “I’m going to get the ceremony on video if he ever wants to see it.”

“Thanks. I’ll let him know. So, Bass, when do you find out what station you get assigned to?”

“Pretty soon. But not tonight. We submitted our top three choices last week.”

“Oh, I hope he gets Brooklyn,” Brooke says. “Don’t you think that would be apropos? You know, because of my name?”

I laugh. “Well, I hope he gets Brooklyn, too. But for an entirely different reason. I know his other two choices were stations in Manhattan and the thought of him having to fight fires in high-rises scares me to death.”

“Brooklyn has high-rise buildings, too, you know,” Brooke says.

“I know, but not nearly as many as Manhattan. And none that are as tall. I don’t want our boy in too much danger.”

“Our boy?” Brooke says with an accusing brow.

Bass laughs at her insecure comment. I know I shouldn’t goad her like that. I knew what I was saying. And maybe I’m a bit territorial when it comes to Bass, but it’s only because I love him like a brother. Just like he doesn’t want to see me hurt, I don’t want to see him hurt, professionally or personally. But quite frankly, I’m more worried about Brooke. She and I have a lot more in common than she realizes. We both love men who are incapable of loving us back. Or unwilling.

Someone makes an announcement over the loudspeaker and the graduates head to the front of the auditorium to take their seats.

I watch with pride as my best friend walks across the stage and gets the certificate he’s worked so hard for.

Sawyer sneaks in from the side, squeezing next to me as I try to make room for him. He leans in and kisses my cheek like it’s a habit. “Good,” he whispers. “I’m glad I didn’t miss it.”

I nod my head, unable to speak because of the happy tears that are falling.

Sawyer chuckles in my ear. “Are you going to cry when they give me my World Series ring, too?”

“That depends. Do they give those out right there at the last game?”

Something changes in his eyes. And the way he looks at me is … different. He shakes his head sadly. “No. It normally takes months to make them.”

“Oh. Well, that’s too bad. I would have liked to have seen it.”

He cocks his head to the side. “You really think we’ll make it to the Series?”

“Why wouldn’t I? The Nighthawks are a great team. And with you leading them, anything is possible.”

“Thanks,” he says. “It really means a lot to me that you feel that way.”

I turn my head and stare at him. “You had the perfect opportunity to say something cocky just now, yet you said something nice again, Tom Sawyer,” I whisper. “You’d better watch out or you’ll be labeled a good guy before you know it.”

“Shhh,” he whispers back, his hot breath flowing over my ear and neck. “Don’t tell anyone.”

He grabs my hand and entwines it with his. I realize he’s only doing it for show, but it feels nice. And even though I know he’s just playing a part, his thumb rubbing slow circles around my knuckles sends pulses of want and need throughout my body.

Does he know what his touch does to me? Does he even care?

I take a peek at Brooke, who’s on my other side, and notice the smile on her face when she sees our clasped hands. She thinks if I’m off the market, she has a better chance with Bass. But I’m not so sure it’s me who has anything to do with it. I can see it in his eyes, he doesn’t want her like I want Sawyer. But maybe being with somebody is better than being with nobody.

I look back at Sawyer and realize just how different these two men really are.

Bass wants a relationship so badly, he’s willing to accept someone he doesn’t love. Sawyer is so scared of one, he’ll throw away love without giving it a chance.

And then there’s Denver.

Boy, do I have some screwed-up men in my life.

“Come on,” Brooke says, standing up and tugging on my arm after the last graduate crosses the stage. “Let’s head outside for the reception.”

Champagne is flowing freely and Bass quickly gets drunk, making up for lost time after having sworn off alcohol during his training. He grabs two glasses off a nearby tray and hands one to Sawyer after Brooke and I refuse it. “Come on, someone has to keep up with me,” he says.

Sawyer takes the glass, clinking it to Bass’s.

“See,” Bass says, putting an arm around Sawyer’s shoulders. “This is why I like this guy. We think alike.”

“Oh, you like me now, do you?” Sawyer asks.

“I always liked you,” Bass slurs. “It’s just that I’m watching out for our girl.”

I see Brooke cringe out of the corner of my eye.

“I’m watching out for her, too,” Sawyer says.

Bass snorts. “Yeah, right. For what, three more months? Then what?”

“What happens in three months?” Brooke asks.

I kick Bass in the shin and stare him down.

“Oh, shit,” he says. “Right. I mean, in three months the season will be over and what then? Are you going to take our girl on vacation? Someplace nice maybe? She deserves it, you know.”

“Maybe I will. Ever been to the Florida Keys?” he asks me with a raised brow.

Thoughts of Sawyer and me on a secluded beach infiltrate my head.

“The Keys?” Brooke says like it’s a bad word. “Take the girl to someplace exotic like Hawaii. I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii. My parents got married there and I grew up hearing stories about how wonderful it was.”

“That sounds good too,” Sawyer says. “I guess we’ll have to think about it.”

“Brooke, you wanted to meet Jim’s wife,” Bass says. “She’s over there, come on, I’ll introduce you.” Bass turns to Sawyer and me. “We’ll catch you guys a little later. Hang around and enjoy some more drinks.”

“We will,” Sawyer says, raising his glass to him as they walk away.

As soon as Bass and Brooke leave our side, several people come over and ask Sawyer for autographs and pictures. He obliges. He’s always pretty nice about it as long as the fans aren’t too unruly.

“I can’t take you anywhere,” I joke after the last fan snaps a selfie with him.

“Does that bother you?” he asks, motioning to the people watching us from around the courtyard.

I shake my head. “No. As long as they don’t drape themselves all over you.”

He raises an amused brow. “Jealous much?”

“About as jealous as you were of Trent Dugan.”

His jaw tightens and his lips form a thin line.