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Page 23
Page 23
She caught sight of Raoul and remembered that inviting Hawk by after hours was no longer an option. Still, they were going to have to figure out something. She didn’t want to go weeks between encounters again.
Speaking of encounters, she saw Hawk on the field. When he looked toward the stands, she waved. He didn’t wave back. Nicole frowned. She would have sworn he’d seen her, but then he looked right past her. Of course, she was a long way from the field and it would be easy for him to miss her. Not that he’d ever missed her before.
A few minutes later Raoul spotted her. She half expected him to tell Hawk where she was, but he didn’t. Which was odd. Then Brittany bounced over to her boyfriend. Raoul said something and she looked up toward the stands. When she caught sight of Nicole, she waved her pom-poms and hurried over to her dad.
Anticipation tightened Nicole’s stomach. She tried not to smile, but it was as effective as trying to ignore the sun. She shimmied in her seat and told herself to act cool. Which turned out to be good advice.
Brittany spoke to Hawk, pointed toward the bleachers. Hawk glanced Nicole’s way once, then turned his back and walked away.
Nicole felt as if she’d been hit in the stomach. Her chest hurt and it was hard to breathe. Humiliation washed over her. Hawk had just rejected her—totally and publicly.
Heat burned her cheeks. She pretended to look for something in her purse so she could look down and let her hair hide her face.
What had just happened? Why had he done that? Dismissed her that way? Just a couple of days ago, they’d been laughing and making love in her bed. They hadn’t seen each other since or even spoken on the phone. So what could have gone wrong?
A thousand possibilities flashed through her brain. He hadn’t had as good a time as she’d thought. He’d met someone else. He was tired of pretending. He was repulsed by knowing she’d been stupid enough to marry Drew.
She felt sick and desperately wanted to run away. Unfortunately she was trapped by the crowd and the fact that she always drove kids to the pizza place. If she ducked out now, her absence would be noticed. For some reason, she didn’t want Hawk to know he’d hurt her.
So she raised her head and refused to let anyone see that she’d been humiliated and emotionally kicked in the gut. She was so grateful that Missy and Greg weren’t big talkers. When the game started, she did her best to pay attention, ignoring how the seconds crawled by.
She hadn’t realized how many times Hawk looked her way during his time on the field until he began to ignore her completely. Even though there was no way anyone would notice the difference, she still felt exposed and ashamed. As if she’d done something wrong. Finally the whistle blew and the players lined up to shake hands. Which was usually her cue to go down to the field.
Nicole hesitated. Should she just leave? No, she told herself. She would go down and figure out what had happened. It was the mature thing to do. It would strengthen her character and make her a better person. Then when she got home, she would go upstairs and throw up.
She let the crowd push ahead, then went through the gate and onto the field. Several parents crowded around Hawk, wanting to talk to him about how the game had gone. Nicole had to glance at the scoreboard to figure out if they’d won or not. When life went by in slow motion, it was tough to keep score.
She waited until there was a lull in conversation, then stepped forward.
“Hi,” she said, going for a light, easy tone. Until she knew otherwise, she was going to pretend nothing was wrong.
“Hi,” Hawk said, not looking at her.
She waited, but he didn’t say anything. Then, just when she was going to ask him what was wrong with him, Annie, one of the slutty mothers, strolled up and put both hands on Hawk’s chest.
“So I should just wait for you in the parking lot?” she asked, the lights from the field glinting off her impressive diamond wedding set.
“That’s right. I’ll send the kids to you.”
She smiled into his eyes. “Thanks for asking me to stay tonight, Hawk. I’m really looking forward…to everything.”
“Me, too.”
It was as if he’d slapped her, then reached into her chest and pulled out her heart. This could not be happening. Okay, sure, she and Hawk weren’t actually dating, dating. Not in the traditional sense, but they had a deal and they were ha**g s*x and she would never in a million years have believed he was the kind of man to not only go back on his word but also be deliberately cruel.
That’s what got her the most. He was doing this on purpose, as if wanting to exact the most amount of pain. And damn him, it was working.
She turned and hurried off the field. She fought the tears in her eyes, refusing to give in and show weakness until she was by herself. Her to-do list was getting longer. As soon as she got home, she was going to throw up, cry and, oh, yeah, walk the dog.
She’d nearly made it to her car when she felt someone touch her arm. She looked up and saw Raoul standing next to her.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice low, his expression tight with guilt and pain. “This is my fault.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Coach. The way he’s acting. It’s my fault.”
Nicole ignored the fresh wave of embarrassment as she realized there had been witnesses to Hawk’s rejection. “Raoul, you have nothing to do with what’s going on.”
“That’s not true. I saw him, the other night. When he was leaving.”
And the hits just kept on coming, Nicole thought, wondering if she was going to have a permanent blush.
“I, ah, told him he shouldn’t hurt you.” Raoul traced a pattern on the parking lot with his spikes. “That you were someone special and that he didn’t get to play any games.”
He’d defended her? Raoul had stood up to his coach to defend her?
Now the need to cry was even stronger, but the reason was totally different.
She hugged him. “I’m twenty-eight years old. I’ve been married. I can take care of myself.”
“I didn’t want him to hurt you.”
“I know. Thank you for that.”
“I’m sorry Coach is being an ass.”
Nicole stepped away. Everything was clear now, including how she was going to handle the situation. “Me, too. Thanks for telling me this, Raoul. And for what you did. It was sweet, but unnecessary.”
He shrugged, looking both uncomfortable and proud.
She pointed to the entrance to the locker room. “Go shower and get changed. I’m going to have a little conversation with Hawk.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
He jogged off.
Filled with purpose and energy, Nicole marched back toward the stadium.
Knowing what had happened was both better and worse, she thought, letting her anger build up so it would peak right when she needed it. While she now knew why Hawk was acting the way he was, it made her like him a whole lot less.
She stepped onto the field. Most of the parents and players were gone, including Annie. She marched right up to Hawk, stuck her index finger in his chest and said, “We have to talk.”
“This isn’t a good time for me.”
“You think I give a shit?”
Hawk narrowed his gaze. “What’s your problem?”
“Apparently you are. You’re acting like a two-year-old, pouting because something didn’t go your way. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong because the last time I saw you, I had a great time. But rather than discuss anything with me, or pretend to be an adult, you sulked and tried to make me feel bad with that surgically enhanced bimbo.”
“Annie is a very nice woman.”
“I can only imagine.” She poked him again. “Raoul was looking out for me. It was totally unnecessary of him, but still really sweet and kind and as this is the guy dating your seventeen-year-old daughter, you should be doing cartwheels. If he’s willing to face you down to look out for me, imagine what he would do for the girl he loves. He’s a hell of a guy and there’s a tiny chance you’re part of the reason. But do you see that? No. You’re far more upset about the fact that he stood up to you so your overinflated male ego is all bruised and broken. Poor Hawk. Your star player is more interested in acting like a man than kissing your ass. You should be proud of him instead of pouting.”
Hawk’s gaze turned icy. “Are you done?”
“Just about. I thought you were different. I thought you were special. You walked away from a dream career to take care of your daughter. You work with these kids, not because you need the money, but because you want to help. At least that’s what you tell people. But the truth is, all of this is about you. About how you look and how much the world worships you. As soon as things don’t go your way, you’re not interested in the game anymore. You don’t want to play and you sure don’t want to play fair. I thought you were someone I wanted to know, but if this is who you really are, I don’t even want to pretend to date you. Go to hell, Hawk.”
She turned and walked away.
She thought he might have a scathing comeback but there was only silence. She was so mad, she was shaking. She also felt sick inside, like she’d just lost something important.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this, she told herself as she climbed into her car. It wasn’t supposed to hurt. But it did. All of it. It hurt really bad.
THE LAST THING Hawk wanted to do was hang out with his players, but there weren’t a lot of options. He drove to the pizza place and walked inside, only to be greeted by the crowd.
He faked his way through a few short conversations, then glanced at his watch and wondered how long until he could duck out. An hour? Maybe two. Until then, he was stuck.
“Hi, Hawk.”
The low, sultry voice made his skin crawl. Annie. She was here because he’d invited her. Because he was an idiot, and now he was stuck with her.
“I’ve saved us a table,” she said, pointing to a small booth in the corner. One that would seat two. She’d already told him her husband was out of town and that the house was empty and a very lonely place.
He knew better than to encourage women like her. He wasn’t interested and he sure as hell wasn’t going to spend time with a married woman. He’d reacted. Nicole had been right—he’d been pouting.
The reality of how he’d acted crashed in on him. He felt humiliated and stupid and in desperate need of a do-over. But life was like football…the clock only counted down. He couldn’t take back the plays he’d made, he could only deal with the consequences.
He looked Annie square in the eye. “I had a fight with my girlfriend. I was using you to make her feel bad. I acted totally inappropriately. I’m sorry.”
Annie blinked at him. “You’re kidding.”
“No. I’m telling you the truth. Hey, if you were in my position, aren’t you the one you’d pick?”
It was one part shameless flattery and two parts truth. He hoped it was the right combination.
Annie flipped her long, dark hair over her shoulder and then smoothed the front of her tight sweater. “Okay, yeah. I’d pick me, too.” She sighed. “You’re really seeing someone?”
“Her name is Nicole. You can ask Brittany.”
Annie sighed. “Oh, well. I had a feeling it was too good to be true. I’ll let you off this time, Hawk, but don’t make that mistake again, or I’ll expect you to make good on your promises.”
“You have my word.”
She sauntered away.
Hawk glanced around the pizza place until he spotted Raoul, then walked over to speak with him.
“I owe you,” he told the kid. “You were looking out for Nicole and I respect that. Keep doing the right thing, no matter what anyone else says.”
Raoul looked him in the eye. “Even you, Coach?”
“Even me.”
They shook hands. Hawk knew Nicole had been right. He was grateful Raoul was dating his daughter. He knew Raoul would take care of her. Which meant he’d mended all his bridges except one.
He glanced at his watch. He was stuck here for the next couple of hours. Or was he?
He turned back to Raoul. “Can you handle things here for a little while?”
“Sure, Coach.”
“I’ll be back.”
He hurried to his truck and started the engine. The need to talk to Nicole pushed everything else from his brain.
He drove fast enough to get a ticket, but got lucky and wasn’t caught. Less than twenty minutes later he was pounding on her door.
“Nicole, come on. It’s me. Open up. I know you’re in there.”
Finally he heard footsteps. “Go away,” she yelled through the door.
“Nicole, I know you don’t want to see me, but this is important.”
She didn’t say anything.
He pounded on the door again. “I was wrong, okay? I was a jerk. I’ve known Raoul for years now and he’s known you for a couple of months and he stood up to me because of you. I wasn’t expecting that. I didn’t realize he’d become a man. He challenged me. He was willing to take me on. It’s not supposed to be like that.”
The front door opened. Nicole stood in front of him, her face streaked with tears. “Sure it is. The alpha male of the pack always has to fight for his spot. It’s the circle of life.”
She looked both beautiful and miserable and he regretted that he’d made her cry. “Do you wish he’d kicked my ass?”
“Yes.” She sniffed. “Big-time.”
“I’m sorry,” he said and pulled her close. “I’m so sorry. I suck at this relationship thing. The last time I had to get to know a girl, I was fifteen. It was easier not to screw up.”