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Page 22
Page 22
Nicole sucked in a breath so she wouldn’t cry. “I miss her and I love her and I think I hate her. What’s wrong with me?”
“You’re human.”
“I’m a total bitch. I need to let the past go. I want to.”
“Do you?”
Nicole continued to fight tears. “I hate it when you’re insightful, but go ahead. Say it. You should and I probably need to hear it.”
“If Jesse isn’t the villain then you have to deal with why your first marriage failed. You have to accept responsibility.”
“Why would I care about that? It’s been five years. I love Hawk. Drew’s long gone and I would never want him back.”
“This isn’t about him. It’s about you. It’s about admitting you screwed up.”
“I accept responsibility for what I do wrong,” Nicole said, feeling a little stung. “Jesse’s the one who always—”
Except Jesse wasn’t like that anymore. Jesse seemed to have her act together.
“I’m happy she’s back,” Nicole said. “I just don’t know how to deal with all the crap that’s coming to the surface.”
“You’ll figure it out.”
“I’d better. I don’t want to lose her again.”
“DOES MY DADDY LIKE ME?” Gabe asked.
Jesse wished she wasn’t driving so that she could pull her son into her arms and hug him until he never had to think anything bad again in his whole life.
“He does like you,” she said instead. “He likes you a lot. But he doesn’t have any experience around kids, so he doesn’t know what to say. That makes him afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. Grown-ups really hate that, so instead of making a mistake, he won’t do anything.”
Was this too much information for a four-year-old? Sometimes she just wasn’t sure.
“But it’s okay to make a mistake as long as you say you’re sorry,” Gabe said.
She laughed. “It is and I’ll remind him of that.”
“Good. Because I want him to be my daddy.”
“I want that, too,” she said and climbed out of the car.
She helped him out of his car seat, then collected the board games she’d brought for the evening at Matt’s house.
Getting together had been her suggestion. She’d been nervous about calling after their encounter in his office, but as getting Gabe and his father connected was a major part of her reason for moving back to Seattle, it seemed silly to avoid him just because of how easily he caused her thighs to go up in flames. That was her problem, not his, and she would deal with it like a grown-up.
They walked up to the large double doors in front of Matt’s house. Gabe looked around. “Is this a hotel, Mommy?”
“No. It’s just a big house.”
Gabe looked confused. “Is there another family here?”
“No, honey. Just your daddy.”
“Just him?”
Jesse remembered the redhead who had been there when she’d first shown up. “Most of the time.”
She wasn’t going to think about Matt’s other women or their kiss or anything else that could cause a problem. Tonight was about her son and his father and making sure they learned how to communicate.
The door opened before she could ring the bell. Matt stood there, all tall and sexy in jeans and a T-shirt. Casual. It was a good look for him. Of course, so was naked, although she’d promised herself not to think about that.
“Hi,” she said, suddenly feeling nervous.
“Hi, yourself.” He glanced down. “Hi, Gabe.”
Her son seemed to brace himself. “Hello,” he said quietly.
“Want to come in?” Matt asked.
Gabe looked at her, then nodded and walked into the house. Jesse followed him.
The entryway was as big as her rental back in Spokane, she thought as she stared at the wall in front of them. It was two stories high, with water rushing down.
Gabe stared wide-eyed. “It’s raining inside,” he breathed. “Mommy, look. It’s raining.”
She thought about explaining that it was a water feature, albeit an expensive one. But maybe it was better to let her son think it was actual rain.
“I see,” she said. “Pretty cool, huh?”
Matt walked over to a side wall and flipped a switch. Instantly the water on the wall fell into the pool below, then there was silence.
Gabe’s expression turned to awe. “You can do that?”
Matt grinned. “So can you. Come on. I’ll show you.”
The switch was a little high. Jesse started to move toward them, but Matt simply reached down, grabbed Gabe around the waist and lifted him so he could reach. The boy turned on the switch and the water began to fall again.
Gabe laughed. “Mommy, can we have one of these?”
“Not for a while,” she said, thinking there was a whole lot of other stuff they needed first. Of course, she didn’t have Matt’s millions.
He put Gabe down. “I’m ready to play some games,” Matt told him. “What about you?”
Gabe nodded.
“Through here,” Matt said, leading them down a short hall, past a kitchen large enough to serve two hundred and into an open family room. At least Jesse assumed it was a family room. The ceiling stretched up a couple of stories. There were wall-to-wall windows with a perfect view of Lake Washington. The fireplace could double as a guest room if it wasn’t in use and there were four sofas scattered throughout the space.
Who lived like this? Okay, obviously Matt did, which was so weird. What had happened to the guy who’d complained that a three-bedroom town house was too big?
He went toward a sofa, but Gabe dropped onto the soft rug by the fireplace. Jesse smiled at Matt. “We play on the floor.”
He looked doubtful, but joined them.
She set down the games she’d brought. “Chutes and Ladders and Candyland. Two perennial favorites.” She glanced at Gabe and grinned. “Let’s start with the easier one first. He’s new to this.”
Gabe laughed and reached for Chutes and Ladders.
Jesse set up the game. “Do I need to explain the rules?” she asked, thinking that teasing him would help with the sexual awareness she felt arcing between them. If they were laughing and focused on Gabe or the game, it was a whole lot more safe. At least for her.
“I can figure it out as we go,” he told her, his dark eyes bright with amusement.
Gabe picked up the dice. “Here,” he said. “You can go first.”
“Very nice,” Jesse whispered.
“He’s new,” Gabe whispered back.
“I can hear both of you,” Matt grumbled and threw the dice.
Five minutes later, Gabe laughed as both she and Matt slid down chutes while he just kept going up and up on ladders.
“He’s going to win,” she told Matt.
“I can see that. It’s because he has more practice.”
“Maybe. Or he’s just really good at the game.”
Matt threw the dice and groaned as he landed on yet another chute.
He was being a good sport about it, she thought, pleased with how the evening was going. There was a lot less tension and while Matt wasn’t exactly talking directly to Gabe all that much, they seemed more comfortable together.
When Gabe ran off to look out the big window, she turned to Matt.
“How are you doing?” she asked.
“Fine.”
He looked comfortable enough, stretched out on his side on the rug, his head propped on his hand.
“Is he less scary or are you faking it better?” she asked.
“I’ve been doing some reading online. On his age group. What they like, where they are developmentally.”
Did that mean he was starting to see Gabe as a person and his son? Was it too soon for that? Before she could figure out a way to ask, Gabe returned to her side and threw himself on her.
“I love you, Mommy,” he said as he landed on her stomach.
She rolled, taking him with her, landing with him on his back. All the easier to tickle him. “I love you, too,” she said as she wiggled her fingers against his side.
He shrieked with laughter and rolled closer. She laughed, too, then pulled him against her. They hugged and she breathed in the little-boy scent of him.
Her heart kept growing and growing, she thought. It had to be getting bigger, otherwise it couldn’t possibly hold all the love she felt for her son.
She turned and saw Matt had sat up. He was a little apart from them, looking slightly tense and out of place. There was something in his eyes, an emotion she couldn’t read. Guilt? Concern? Then he blinked and it was gone.
Without warning, Gabe lunged for Matt’s foot. He grabbed it and tickled. Matt pulled back so fast, he nearly tumbled over. Gabe’s mouth fell open.
“Mommy, he’s ticklish!”
Apparently, the news was nearly as exciting as the inside rain had been. A grown man who was ticklish? Was it possible?
Gabe lunged for him. Matt held out his arm, even as he continued to move back. “Wait a second. This isn’t a good idea, Gabe. Tickling someone can be dangerous business.”
Gabe wasn’t listening and Jesse couldn’t decide if she should intervene or not. She kind of liked the idea of Matt less than in charge and maybe on the run. When her son grabbed at Matt’s toes, Matt scrambled to his feet.
“Who wants brownies?” he asked. “I stopped by the bakery and picked up some.”
Jesse stood and pulled Gabe into her arms. They all went into the kitchen.
“I got both kinds,” Matt was saying as he opened a familiar Keyes Bakery box. “Gabe, would you like milk with yours?”
“Yes, please.”
“Jesse?”
He was acting so casual, she thought, feeling a little wicked. As if nothing had happened. As if he hadn’t scrambled away like a little girl. She made a clucking sound.
He looked at her. “Are you all right?”
She clucked again. “Chick, chick, chicken.”
His gaze narrowed. “I’m not a chicken. I have strong reflexes. I didn’t want to risk hurting Gabe by accidentally kicking him.”
“Uh-huh. You’re ticklish and you didn’t want him touching your feet.”
“It’s about reflexes.”
She clucked again.
Without warning, he grabbed her arm, hauled her against him and stared into her face. His mouth was inches from hers. Heat burned everywhere they touched and wanting exploded.
“Say that again,” he instructed, his voice low and very much in control.
“Are you daring me?” she asked, a little breathless.
“Absolutely.”
“Can I have my brownie now?” Gabe asked, tugging on her shirt.
Reality crashed into her. She pulled back from Matt, who seemed to let her go just as quickly.
“Sure, honey,” she said, picking him up and putting him on one of the tall seats by the high counter. “Without walnuts, right?”
“Uh-huh.”
“You want milk with that, right?”
They worked in the kitchen, getting Gabe settled. Jesse asked Matt where the napkins were. He moved Gabe’s chair closer to the counter. They acted as if nothing had happened, although she was desperately aware of every move he made.
Her body ached with need. She wanted—
Her cell phone rang.
She grabbed her purse and pulled it out. The number was local, but unfamiliar.
“Hello?”
“Jesse? It’s Claire. You have to get down here right away.” Claire sounded frantic.
“What’s wrong? What happened?”
“It’s the bakery. Oh, God, I can’t believe it.”
There were noises in the background. Loud noises and screams.