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Page 9
Page 9
If only, she thought, not sure that would ever happen. So much time had passed. It hurt to remember how close she and Matt had been and how much had been lost.
He returned with a tray and three orders of fries.
“That’s a lot of food,” she murmured, knowing Gabe couldn’t eat even half of the order and she shouldn’t. Fries seemed to take a straight line to her thighs.
“Eat what you want and leave the rest,” Matt told her.
She held in a laugh. Waste food? Not on her income. Every crumb was accounted for. Not that he would understand that. Matt had been rich when she’d left and he seemed to have done well in the past five years.
Gabe returned to their table and eyed the fries. She smiled. “Yes, you may have some.”
He grinned and grabbed one. Fries weren’t a regular food in their house. All this eating out and fast food was going to go to his head.
Jesse reached for a fry herself, only to find that it didn’t taste like much. She wasn’t hungry at all. If anything, her stomach felt a little queasy. The old “I used to be in love with you and now I’m nervous” diet. Limited audience, but very effective. She grabbed her coffee.
“You were in Spokane the whole time?” Matt asked.
“Yes. I ran out of gas and money pretty much at the same time. Once I was working, I didn’t feel the need to move on.” She hadn’t been hiding, just trying to get away. Not that anyone had come looking for her.
She felt bitterness rise up inside of her, but pushed it away. Both Nicole and Matt had been angry with her, thinking she’d betrayed them. That’s why they hadn’t hunted her down and dragged her back. At least that’s what she told herself because it was better than the alternative. That neither of them had really cared about her at all.
“Have you seen your sister?” Matt asked.
Was he showing interest in her? Being polite? Was it possible he could get over being mad?
“Yes. I stopped by to see Nicole after I saw you.”
“How did that go?”
“Not great. She’s dealing with a lot right now. She has twins who are only a few months old, so that’s hard. I’m going to start working in the bakery, just to help out. Plus I’ve created a brownie recipe I think she’ll really like. I’m going to make some for her. Sort of a tasting.”
Which couldn’t be anything he was interested in. So maybe she should talk about something that would be more relevant. As much as it pained her to bring up the past.
“I wanted to tell you,” she said, aware that Gabe was still sitting next to her, munching on fries. “I didn’t know how. You’d been so angry and I was hurt. I felt guilty.”
“About Drew?” Matt asked, anger flaring in his eyes.
She stiffened. “No. Nothing happened there. I told you that.” She glanced at her son. “We’ll talk about that later.”
“Fine, but we will talk about it.”
Because he didn’t believe her, she thought sadly. Just like Nicole didn’t believe her. She pushed away her fries and pressed a hand against her stomach. She felt queasy and uncomfortable. None of this was going the way she wanted. Her fantasy had been a perfect family reunion. Instead she’d gotten an awkward reality, which really sucked.
“I owe you child support,” Matt said.
What? “No, you don’t.”
“Gabe is my son, my responsibility.”
“None of this is about that.” She wished she knew what he was thinking. She’d been able to read him before, but now he was a mystery. “I didn’t come back for money. I came back so you and Gabe could get to know each other.”
Matt didn’t look as if he believed her, but he didn’t say anything. Was that good or bad? Was it too late for him to connect with his son? She refused to believe that.
Gabe leaned against her and sighed.
“Getting tired, buddy?” she asked as she stroked his head. “You had a busy morning.”
He looked at Matt. “I played outside with my grandma, then we read a story. I’m learning my letters. I know Q.”
Matt’s features tightened. “Your grandmother?”
Jesse swore silently. She’d meant to tell him about that.
“Uh-huh,” Gabe said. “My grandma Paula.”
Jesse put her arm around her son. “I went to see her, too. She’s his only grandparent and I wanted them to meet. She was thrilled and invited us to stay.”
“You can’t,” Matt told her. “Not there.”
“Why not? There’s plenty of room and she’s great with Gabe. I want him to get to know all his family.”
“You’re not going to get any money out of her. However she pretends to care, she keeps the cash locked up.”
Jesse’s cheeks heated. “Is that what you think?” she asked as she stood. “That this is all about money? There are more important things.”
“The only people who really believe that are the ones without any money. I’m guessing you’re one of them.”
“You’re right. I don’t have your millions and I don’t need them. Gabe and I do just fine.”
“That’s crap and you know it. This is all about you getting in on what I have. Just admit it, Jesse. At least then we’re starting from a place of honesty.”
She couldn’t believe what he was saying. Did he really believe that about her? Or was it not specifically her? Was it everyone?
“You’re not interested in me being honest,” she told him. “You believe what you want because it’s easier. I can’t stop you, so I won’t try. What I do want to know is how you changed so much. You were never like this before.”
He rose and stared at her. One corner of his mouth turned up in a mocking smile. “I am what you made me, Jesse. You should be proud.”
JESSE STOPPED AT THE red light and did her best to wake up. She was still upset by her conversation with Matt the previous day. She hadn’t slept much and had been up early to bake brownies.
Even breathing in their delicious smell didn’t make her feel any better. She felt tired and beat-up. Telling herself to forget about Matt was good advice, but not something she seemed able to do. While she knew in her head that things were bound to have changed between them, her heart hadn’t gotten the e-mail. Apparently some part of her had foolishly hoped there would still be a connection between them.
“Idiot,” she muttered as the light turned green and she drove through the intersection.
Sure, she’d loved Matt once. He’d been everything to her, but he was gone now. So different that he might as well have been a complete stranger. Wanting more than a slightly cordial relationship with the father of her child was impossible. She would have to accept that and move on. And she would. Just as soon as she got through her meeting with Nicole and downed a triple-shot latte.
She pulled up in front of her sister’s house and parked. The brownies were in a pink bakery box she’d bought. That morning she’d made two batches of each of the three flavors she wanted Nicole to taste. She’d cherry-picked a dozen of the best brownies of each flavor and put them in little paper cups. Presentation was everything, she reminded herself.
After collecting the box, she walked to the front door and rang the bell.
The door was answered by a tall, well-built, gorgeous guy who could have been an underwear model ten years ago.
“Hi,” he said with a grin. “I’m Hawk. You must be Jesse. Come on in. I’m not allowed to stay for the tasting. Nicole says I don’t have a subtle enough palate, but those brownies smell good so make sure she doesn’t eat them all.”
“Not to worry, I brought three dozen,” Jesse said, immediately liking the man.
He led the way into the kitchen, which was much tidier than the last time she’d seen it. Nicole stood at the counter, pouring coffee. She turned as Jesse entered.
“Good morning,” she said, not sounding especially excited to have company. “You brought the brownies?”
“Yes.” Jesse set the box on the kitchen table.
Another woman entered the room. Someone as tall and blond as Nicole, with similar features.
Claire, Jesse thought, feeling strange at seeing her other sister—the one she’d never really known.
Claire and Nicole were fraternal twins, six years older than Jesse. At the age of three, Claire had sat down at a piano and started playing perfectly, despite the fact that she’d never had a lesson. By the time Jesse was born, she’d been whisked off to New York to study and play around the world. Jesse had grown up never really knowing Claire, only resenting her princess lifestyle as she moved from fabulous city to fabulous city, meeting the rich and famous and playing the piano.
Jesse and Nicole had been stuck back in Seattle, trying to grow up without much supervision. Nicole had always hated Claire for leaving, even though it hadn’t been her choice, while Jesse had simply wanted to go with her on her travels.
Jesse still didn’t know Claire very well, but she’d been the one to stay in touch when Jesse had moved away.
“You made it back,” Claire said by way of greeting. “Is Seattle the same as you remembered?”
“Pretty much. There’s a lot of new construction.”
“That’s the strong job market drawing people here.” Claire took the mug of coffee Nicole offered. Jesse did the same.
There was a moment of awkward silence. Jesse felt uneasy. While these people were her family, they were strangers for one reason or another. And they all thought the worst of her.
Hawk moved next to Nicole and put his hands on her shoulders. He whispered something, then kissed her. His adoration was visible even across the room. Jesse felt a rush of pleasure that her sister had found someone so good for her and, close at its heels, envy, because she wanted the same thing for herself. She immediately thought of Matt, which was dumb. He might have been “the one” five years ago, but he wasn’t anymore.
“I’ll leave you ladies to your tasting,” Hawk said. “Nicole, remember what I said.”
She laughed. “We’re not going to eat them all. You’ll have plenty.”
She and Hawk shared one of those intimate looks that passes between people who know each other and are secure in their love, then he left.
Nicole and Claire both sat at the table. Jesse joined them and opened the bakery box.
“I have three kinds of brownies,” Jesse said. “Plain chocolate, chocolate with walnuts and peanut-butter chocolate.”
“And these are your recipes?” Nicole asked.
Jesse resisted the urge to snap. “Yes. I developed them myself. I’ve kept records so there’s a clear evolution of the process.”
She hated that she had to explain herself, that Nicole just wouldn’t trust her, but that was her sister’s way. Nicole would never forgive Jesse for selling the famous Keyes cake online five years ago.
Nicole took one of each brownie. Claire did the same, then laughed. “I’m not really an expert. Is saying I like them going to be enough?”
“It is for me,” Jesse said, then held her breath as Nicole took a bite.
Nicole chewed and swallowed without saying anything. She got up and filled a glass with water, took a sip, returned to the table and tasted again.
She ate slowly, and deliberately, tasting each brownie three times before finishing her water and turning to Claire.
“What do you think?” she asked.
“They’re amazing. Really rich without being overpowering. I’m not usually big on the whole peanut-butter-chocolate combo, but even those are incredible.”
Jesse didn’t relax. Nicole wouldn’t care what Claire thought.
Nicole pushed away the brownies. “They’re good. I’d sell them in the bakery.”