I still. “I have never done this before.”

Her eyes narrow.

“I’ve never done this with someone who matters. With someone I’m in love with. Jesus, girl, you make me crazy.”

“Can we turn the light off?” she asks. Then it dawns on her that I can’t see her lips if we don’t keep the light on. “Never mind,” she says.

“Will the light bother you?” I ask. I kiss her, cupping her breast in my palm. I gently heft the weight of it, and watch her face as I plump it and bring her nipple to my lips. I tongue it quickly, rasping her tender flesh with care, but force. She arches her back, her eyes closing as she moves to get closer to me.

Her naked thighs wrap around my hips, and I feel the slickness of her against my dick. “Shit,” I say.

“What?” She freezes.

“I forgot to get a condom.”

She counts on her fingers and shakes her head. “It’s all right. We don’t need one.” She stops and bites her lip. “Unless, um, you need one.”

I got tested just a few weeks ago when we all had bone marrow testing for Matt. I’m clean. “I’ve never done this without one.” I’m afraid. More afraid than I’ve ever been.

I press into her cleft, sliding back and forth through her wetness, but not slipping inside. I notch my dick against the top of her cleft, and press gently, rocking against her clit. She’s so wet she’s slippery and so, so sweet.

I don’t know what to do next, I want her so bad. My breath falters, and my arms quiver under my weight.

“Emily, can you take me inside?” I ask. I can do this with finesse later. We have a lifetime to perfect this.

She reaches between us and takes my dick in her hand. She shuttles her hand up and down the slippery length of me, and then points me toward her heat. She raises her hips so I slip inside.

I take it slow. I want to remember this moment forever and ever. I can’t hold in a groan as I bury my face in her neck. “Fuck, Emily. You’re so f**king tight. I don’t think I can stand it.”

She rocks her hips, and takes more of me. I’m buried to the hilt inside the woman I love. I look up at her face and there are tears in her eyes. “Have I hurt you?” I ask. I bracket her face with my hands and swipe her tears away with the pads of my thumbs.

She shakes her head and pulls me into her with her feet on my ass. I start to move.

Emily kisses me, her tongue sliding into my mouth as I slip in and out of her heat. I can feel the little stutters of her breath as I push forward and retreat. She rocks to meet my movements. “Emily, Emily, Emily,” I chant.

I’m closer to coming than she is, but not by much. I reach between our bodies and stroke across her clit. She lifts for me, her hips pushing her harder against me. She cries out. I can feel the vibration in her chest. I look into her face. She’s saying my name over and over and over.

Her feet lock around me as she tightens on my dick. “Em,” I rasp. My voice hurts from overuse. “I need you to come, Emily,” I say quietly. “Come on my dick. Please, Em.” I’m not above pleading with her. I’m finally inside the woman I love, but I can’t hold out forever. She feels too f**king good.

She throws her head back when she comes, and her pu**y pulls at my dick. I shove myself inside her pushing in as far as I can go. She sucks at me from the inside, pulling me into her with the quivers of her channel as it closes tightly, so tightly, around me. She falls apart in my arms and I covet every clench. I look into her face, because I can’t hear her cries. I can feel her, though, as she milks me, coming harder than I ever imagined. But then again, so do I. I feel like my balls are being pulled out through my throat. It’s almost painful how she takes all of me. I pump slowly in and out of her, not wanting to stop, but my dick is so sensitive that I have to stop moving.

Her arms wrap around me when I collapse on top of her and she squeezes me, but then her arms fall away. She says something. I can feel it. I lift myself up. “What?” I ask. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Fear clutches at my gut with eager talons.

“If that’s hurting me, I want you to do it over and over and over, all night long.” She chuckles, her body shaking with laughter.

I roll to my side, but I don’t want to be far from her, so I roll her to face me. I brush her hair back from her face with both hands. “I love you,” I say.

She smiles at me, hiding her face abashedly in the pillow. “I love you too,” she says. “No matter what happens, please know that what I feel for you is real. That I don’t know how I could live without you.”

I lean back, appraising her closely. Why would she say such a thing? But she reaches for me and pushes me onto my back. I was still semi hard, and I go fully hard immediately. She rocks on my dick and then takes me inside her. “Jesus Christ, woman,” I say. She’s hot, and wet from where I just came inside her.

She squares her hands on my chest, and begins to ride me. Her movements are unsure, so I take her naked hips in my hands and guide her movements. She slows until she finds a rhythm, drawing her lower lip between her teeth. I tug it free, and pull her down to kiss me. I f**k her while she’s on top of me, her tits pressed tight against my chest. She meets me, and her throat vibrates with sound every time I push in and pull out.

She cries out my name. I can read it on her lips. She says it over and over and over, but I can’t imagine ever tiring of hearing it.