“But it’s better now?” Ashleigh asks.

“Mostly,” I say impassively. “I didn’t really understand myself until high school. That’s when things started to make sense. I caught up with my mind and was able to take control. The touching is not a big deal these days. I’m good at turning off the pain. I only feel it briefly if I’m touched unexpectedly. If I see it coming, I process it just fine.”

“And then it feels good?” She’s watching me, very carefully. I can almost see her mind working, putting the pieces of me together in a way that makes sense.

“Well, it’s a fine line between pain and pleasure and as you know, my line might be microscopic.”

She smirks out a laugh between her lips. “Well, that kind of explains a lot about you Ford.”

“Yeah, this pain pleasure thing has consumed me my whole life. It’s the only thing I thought about as a kid. And I wasn’t bullied or anything, I’m far too vicious and devious to put up with that shit, but I walked through childhood afraid of people finding out how easy it was to hurt me.”

“So how do you tell the difference? Doesn’t it get all mixed up in there? Inside your brain?”

“I just choose to experience one sensation and not the other.” I turn her around until she’s facing the mirror and then I grasp her nipple between my thumb and forefinger. I don’t squeeze, just hold it gently. “Let me show you.” My other hand follows the curve of her hip, unbuttons her pants, and then slides down her lower belly. “Tell me what you feel, OK?” She nods as my fingertips dip down between her legs and find her folds. I press against her, but at the same time I squeeze her nipple hard and then release.

“Ow!” She laughs out the word. “Well, that was painful.”

I smile at myself in the mirror and she catches me and makes a face. “Let’s try it again,” I whisper down into her ear. Her pu**y floods with wetness and becomes slick around my fingers. I play with her a little more forcefully and this time she moans. I rub it faster, then dip my mouth down, nip her earlobe, and then squeeze her nipple.

This time she actually comes. Whimpering, and moaning, and pressing herself into my chest.

Fucking Ashleigh.

“You need to learn how to play hard to get, Ash. You’re perpetually on the cusp of explosion.”

She slumps against me, languishing in her moment. “Ford, the promise of your full sexual attention is just about the highlight of my life right now, why pretend?”

Holy shit, this f**king girl!

“I pinched it much harder that time but all you felt was the pleasure. I’m pretty good at that. I hardly ever hurt the girls when I’m paying attention, so I’m sorry I hurt you the other night. I was off my game.” She’s still relaxed against my chest, her legs a little wobbly, so I turn her around, lift her up, and set her on the bathroom counter. “Will that hold you over for a while? And you can stop pestering me for a f**k?”

She looks up, watching me intently. “It’s a good start.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

Green River, Utah is not known for its varied selection of restaurants, so we settle on a tavern that looks like Billy the Kid might’ve eaten here back in the day. It’s either this or Arby’s. It’s quiet since it’s Monday night, but you can just tell it’s the local hangout on the weekends. There’s fliers on the wall advertising a band called Scuffed Boots and a jukebox playing some kind of pop country music.

“Does she sit up yet?” I ask Ashleigh of Kate as she wedges the car seat between the table and the back of the booth. “When do they sit in real chairs?”

She looks at me like I’m an idiot. “Real chairs? Like in a booth and not a high chair? Maybe three years if she has a booster seat.”

“Years?” Man, I have no clue and thankfully I get ignored. We order the burgers when the waitress comes since that’s the only thing this place serves. “I could go for some sushi. When we get to Vegas, we’re going out for sushi.”

“I have to admit, it was kinda fun being in the middle of nowhere at first. But it’s getting old. How long to get to Vegas from here?”

I pull up my map app and punch it in the phone. “Says six hours with light traffic. If we leave early we’ll be there a little after noon, then we can go out and have some fun.”

She points to Kate. “I’m with her, sorry.”

“We can get a sitter at the hotel.”

“Hmmm, I’m not sure. How do we know they’re trustworthy?”

I flash her a sideways glance as I look out the window. “Let me take care of that. I’ll make sure. Won’t be too hard, and I don’t even need my own computer to dig for that shit.”

Her mouth makes a little O shape and she squints her eyes. “I forgot about that.”

“What?”

“Your comment about hacking into the DMV and the Vail people talking about your criminal past.”

“I told you, I have no criminal record.”

“Yeah, but criminal record and criminal past aren’t the same thing.”

Yeah, this girl—she misses nothing. “I was a troublemaker as a kid, I already told you.”

“And the DMV hacking? That was childhood pranks too?”

I chuckle a little. She’s not gonna let it go, so screw it. “I have some skills.”

“So that’s what you do huh? You’re some kind of computer expert?”