Author: Robyn Carr

“Sure she does. They talked a lot, which wasn’t a great idea. Mom loves her. She’d like nothing better than to reel her in.” He shook his head. “Bad idea.”

“Whoa, sounds like she had a rough time. How’s she doing? With the transition?”

He shrugged. “Good, I think. You’d never know it—that she’s been through all that.”

“What was the problem? Not enough money to put the mother in long-term care?”

Luke was shaking his head. “Plenty of money—her uncle wanted to put the mother in a nursing home. But Shelby wouldn’t have it. She was committed. She says her mother was her best friend.”

Aiden was quiet for a long moment. Finally he said, “This sounds like an incredible young woman.”

“She is that. Very mild mannered—hard to guess she could have that kind of conviction. Stubbornness.”

“Strength,” Aiden added. “Commitment.”

“Well, you’d have to be strong to do that, right? Yeah, she’s very strong, but she seems fragile.” Then he grinned. “Unless you see her on a horse. She’s a hundred and ten pounds, and on a horse, she’s Annie Oakley.”

Again Aiden was quiet for a moment, sipping. “What are you going to do?” he asked quietly.

“Do?” Luke repeated. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“She needs to get on with her life. She’s behind. You can relate—I can relate. Remember being set free from medical school after years of no life? What did you do?”

“Married a nut job,” he said, smiling blandly.

“Shelby put in her time, did the right thing, took good care of her mom, and now it’s her turn. She’s going to go back to school. She says she’s going to be a nurse, but you watch—she’ll end up a doctor or something. She’s quiet, but scary smart. She has money from selling a paid-off house—so she can travel all over the world, pay for a dozen years of college. You know how important that is, we’ve been all over the world and it’s worth seeing.”

Aiden laughed. “I hope she sees better parts than we did. You saw a bunch of deserts, I went to sea, medical officer on a ship…”

“But it all counts. Life experience—it’s worth it. She’s young—she has time to look around. I’ll tell you what—that girl’s going to have men hunting her down, she’s that good-looking. She never had that before. In high school she was shy, had a couple of short-term boyfriends, but she lost a lot of shyness, got tougher and more aggressive while she was taking care of her mom and had to go up against doctors and therapists and hospitals and insurance companies.” His eyes glistened proudly. “Believe me, she’s ready now. It’s her time.”

He’s letting her go, Aiden thought. For her, though it’s going to kill him. Aiden leaned back in his chair and sipped his drink. “What if she just decides to stay? At her uncle’s place? Forever?”

Luke laughed. “She’s not going to, that would be a waste.”

“If she did?”

“Look, I admit it—I got a little comfortable. The whole chase is a little boring and it wasn’t exactly a punishment to have a sweet, pretty girl right there, handy. But that’s just convenience, I’m winding down a little. There’s this nice little bar in Virgin River—bunch of townpeople go there at the end of the day—real good people. They have the best food on the planet and the jukebox hasn’t been turned on once since I hit town. A couple of marines run the place, so we connected. It spoiled me for entertainment, I lost interest in noisy, smoky bars with slutty girls looking for a pickup. I’ve been thinking… If I can rent out those cabins…work and live there, grab a beer at Jack’s, hunt and fish…I’m telling you—it’s almost a perfect life. You’ll have to come up sometime.”

Aiden let him think about that for a minute. Then he said, “How old do you have to be to appreciate that as a perfect life?”

Luke laughed. “About thirty-eight, twenty years of army, four wars. But now I’m thinking about staying in one place a while. I might look around for some flying in the area, something like medical-airlift transport or something.”

“Could someone like me get into that? Small town like that?”

“They have a midwife and everyone loves her.” Luke laughed. “You’d have some stiff competition.”

“What I mean is, could someone younger than thirty-eight want that life? Or do you have to be this crusty, beat-up old grunt?”

Luke got the point and his lips went back into that firm, nonnegotiable line.

“Do you suppose young women ever choose that life over Ph.D.s or world travel? Think that’s ever happened?”

“I think young women like Shelby might think they want that life and two years later realize they threw away their real life and they’re stuck, and everything would go to hell at that point.”

“But that’s a guess,” Aiden said. “And this is a remarkable, committed, stubborn, aggressive woman who’s been up against a lot and knows what she wants.”

“You tricked me,” Luke said. “You said you were going to be a little curious but now you’re up my ass.”

“What are the odds you’re ever going to run into someone like her again, once she leaves Virgin River? If you let her get away?”

Luke stood up. He put his drink, what was left of it, on a coaster. “But that’s not the point,” he said. “I’m going to bed.”

Late on Christmas Day, Shelby leaned on the corral fence and watched as her cousin Tom kept an eye on Art astride Chico. Ever since first seeing Chico, Art had wanted to ride him, but Chico was a lot of horse for Art. Tom, however, was more than happy to spot that. And when they were done, Shelby would take Art back to his cabin and Tom would go into town and find his girl.

She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. With the noise of churning hooves in the corral, she hadn’t heard Vanni’s approach. Shelby turned toward Vanni and then turned back, giving her cheeks a quick wipe.

“Come on,” Vanni said. “You can’t pretend. Something happened between you and Luke.”

“Nothing. Really, nothing.”

Vanni turned her around. “Something,” she insisted. “Did you have a fight?”

“No, nothing like that. It’s just that…” Her voice trailed away.

“What, honey? What happened?”

Shelby’s eyes welled anew and she shrugged. “Oh, well. I miss him.”

“It’s a couple of days, honey. That’s all…”

“I know.” She sniffed. “It would have meant the world to me if he’d called to wish me a merry Christmas. But I haven’t heard a word out of him. He loves me like I mean everything to him, but he never says the words. I don’t know why. Why, Vanni?”

Vanni ran a gentle finger along her cheek, wiping off a tear. “Baby, I don’t know Luke like you do.”

“It’s almost as though he tries to keep this distance between us…”

“You said you wouldn’t cry.”

“No, I didn’t. I said if he made me cry, I’d get over it. I still don’t have any regrets.”

“It hurts, huh?”

She took a deep breath. “I guess I’m as naive as everyone thought. I fell in love with him. I didn’t mean to.”

“Aw, baby,” Vanni said, pulling her into her arms.

Shelby put her head on Vanni’s shoulder. “It’s going to be real hard to give him up.” Then she let out a little huff of rueful laughter. “It’s going to be real hard if he lets me go. But…I’ll get over it. What are my choices? I couldn’t have done anything differently.”

The day after Christmas, while Walt was babysitting so Vanni could spend some time working on the wallpaper at her new house, Shelby drove over to the new neighbor’s place. She banged on Muriel’s front door and heard the sound of welcoming dogs inside. Muriel beamed when she pulled the door open.

“Any chance you have a cup of coffee?” Shelby asked.

“Sure. Come in. Everything all right?”

“Well, not exactly. Thing is, I need to talk to someone who’s not a member of my family. About Luke.”

“Gosh,” Muriel said. “I’m honored. I would’ve expected you to go to Mel. The two of you are awful close.”

“True. But she’s got a lot of family in town right now,” Shelby said. “And I just thought, maybe…I don’t know, Muriel. Maybe you can tell me something I don’t already know. About…you know…men.”

“You do realize I’ve been married five times and never could make it work,” Muriel said on her way to the kitchen. “It wasn’t my fault, I swear it, but still…”

“I think maybe I’ve been a fool,” Shelby said.

“Oh, now, that I’ve been a hundred times. I am an expert.” Muriel laughed, pouring Shelby a cup of coffee. “Just tell me what’s going on. I won’t breathe a word to anyone. Especially Walt.”

Shelby ran it down quickly. She met him, fell for him, bought into that whole never-settling-down program because she had big plans of her own and she didn’t regret it. Now she wanted more, but he was still in that same place, while she was suffering. “When he said he’d never put down roots and didn’t want that whole marriage-and-family deal, I really thought that meshed pretty well with what I was looking for. At the time, anyway. He never once lied to me, Muriel. He didn’t lead me on and he’s always treated me like pure gold. Maybe I was the one who lied to him—I thought that worked for me. But things changed. I still want to travel, go to school, but I also want the whole deal—a partner, a family, the security of a relationship I can trust. I don’t want to be with a man who’s just going to dump me right about the time I think I can’t live without him.”

“Oh, little darling,” Muriel said. “I wanted all those things, too.”

“You did?”

“I did. It didn’t work out for me. I hope it works out for you.”

“But you’ve had such an amazing career!”

“I was real lucky that way,” she said. She reached across her kitchen table and grabbed both Shelby’s hands. “I have some bad news, my sweet girl. One—you can’t change people. If he doesn’t change himself, you’re flat out of luck. And two—you want what you want. Need what you need.”

“I keep looking for a compromise…”

“Shelby, there are many compromises in relationships. You learn to live with men’s underwear on the floor just shy of the hamper, toothpaste spit on the mirror, and you learn to keep your mouth shut while he drives around in circles for hours because he won’t ask for directions. But the things you feel in the marrow of your bones, the deep and meaningful desires that will make your life complete—there’s no compromise in it.”

“No?”

Muriel shook her head. “You can force yourself to go along. You might even find a way to force him to go along. But there’s bitterness in it. It’s not worth it.”

“I guess you didn’t go along,” she said. “Do you have any regrets? About being alone?”

“I’m not alone, Shelby,” she said patiently. “I’m on my own—there’s a difference. And I have the most wonderful family of friends. It is so much better than having a man I’m not compatible with, even if I thought I adored him. Believe me.”

“Of course,” Shelby said. “I so love the way you see things….”