Author: Robyn Carr

He didn’t mind driving, which was a good thing, since his practice had him running around the mountains and valleys of three counties looking after livestock. The drive from Humboldt County to Santa Rosa was beautiful and calm. But rather than enjoy the rolling hills and snow-covered pines and mountains, all he thought about was Annie.

Before he left Humboldt County, he had called her at her shop. “I’ll be leaving in a couple of hours. Sure you want to let me go without you?” he had asked.

“This is your trip, Nate. Not mine,” she said. “You planned it, you’ve looked forward to it, you paid for it—now go and enjoy it. I have family things to do. And puppy things. When you get back all the decorations will be put away, the puppies will be distributed to their new homes and you’ll be tanned and rested. And it will be a whole new year.”

“I hear cell reception is terrible there, but I’ll try to call you while I’m gone,” he said. “I want to see if you have any regrets about turning down an all-expense-paid vacation. And there’s a note for you on the kitchen counter—my hotel info. Call me if you need anything. Anything at all.”

When he said that, he had been thinking, Me. Call if you need me. Call me if you miss me.

But Annie had laughed cheerfully. “Now, Nate, what are you going to do if I need something? Catch a flight home? You’ll be on the other side of the country! And you’ll be with your friends—a reunion, Nate. Now stop worrying about stuff you can’t do anything about. Just have fun. Besides, I can manage just about anything.”

A few weeks earlier Nathaniel had been looking forward to this vacation with such enthusiasm. He’d built a few fantasies about girls in bikinis and low-cut sundresses. He saw himself inviting a beautiful woman out to dinner; maybe he’d be taking some lovely young thing sailing. He envisioned staying up late with his buddies, laughing, drinking and smoking cigars. He figured he’d be needed to rub suntan lotion on a bare female back.

None of those mental images were working for him now. Now all he could think about was how long the next ten days were likely to be. He hoped he’d at least catch an impressive fish or two. That’s what he’d like to take home to her—a big, mounted sailfish. Maybe they’d hang it over the bed and remember their first Christmas. And their last one apart.

Annie had laughed brightly while on the phone with Nate, but melancholy stole her laughter away the moment she hung up. She supposed it was a combination of being a little bit tired and sad that he’d be away. She’d been up late decorating his house and baking him those awful-tasting cookies; he just didn’t have the right ingredients on hand, and what he had was far from fresh. Of course she hadn’t slept much in his bed; he’d kept her busy. And so satisfied. He was such a wonderful lover, but instead of leaving her sated, it left her wanting more of him.

And then she had to get up very early—she had to go home, shower and dress for work and arrange the Christmas gift baskets for the girls in the shop.

She wondered if he had felt her lips press softly against his before she’d left him. Had he heard her say, “Goodbye, Nate. Be safe. Hurry home”? He hadn’t stirred at all.

She had been happy to hold him close, warm him and put him to sleep. She wouldn’t mind doing that every day for the rest of her life.

She knew her mood had plummeted and she didn’t want anyone in the shop noticing, so she grabbed up the appointment book and walked to her small office at the back of the little shop. But sure enough, Pam followed her. Pam stood in the doorway, looking at her.

“Don’t worry, Annie. He’ll be thrilled to get home to you,” Pam said.

“Sure. Of course. I didn’t say anything otherwise, did I?”

“You didn’t have to,” Pam said. “You laughed and joked with him on the phone, but the second you hung up, you got real sober. Serious. Maybe a little worried.”

“Do you think it was a mistake to let him go?” Annie asked.

“The time will fly by,” Pam said. “It’s nice to see you like this. You love him.”

“I love him,” she admitted. Because he was sensitive but also very confident and strong, she thought. He was a sucker for a bunch of puppies even though they were such a pain to take care of. He didn’t even have to think twice about whether to be out till two in the morning because someone had a problem with an animal. The way Annie had been raised, she’d come to accept that people who cared for animals had a special kind of soul, a precious gift. You weren’t likely to get much back from animals except a lick on the hand or maybe a good performance in a competition. And in her family’s case—the animals provided milk and meat, their roof, their very beds and clothes, their land and legacy. She had been raised with deep respect for animals and the physicians who cared for them. Those gifted doctors were men and women who knew the meaning of unconditional love.

“I love him because he’s tender and strong and smart,” Annie said. She smiled sentimentally. “And he’s so cute he makes my knees wobble. But, Pam, I didn’t tell him. I tried to show him, but I didn’t tell him.”

Pam chuckled. “You’ll have your chance very soon.” Pam stepped really close to Annie and made her voice a whisper. “Sweetheart, you’re beautiful and smart. And I bet you make his knees wobble, too.”

She smiled at her friend. “Thank you, Pam. That’s sweet. The sweetest part is it wasn’t just a compliment—I know you meant it. Did I tell you he asked me to go with him?”

“Ah, no. You might’ve failed to mention that. And you weren’t tempted?”

“Sure I was tempted. But it’s his trip and I have family things going on. But after this, if he feels for me what I feel for him, it’s the last time I’m letting him get that far away from me without him knowing how I feel.”

Pam gave her a fake punch in the arm. “Good plan. I’ve worked with you for five years, Annie, since before you bought the franchise on this little shop. Have you ever been in love before?”

Annie let go a huff of laughter. “Don’t be ridiculous—I’m twenty-eight. I’ve been in love plenty of times, starting with Dickie Saunders in the second grade.”

But never like this, she thought. Nothing even close to this. She wanted to massage his temples when he was stressed or worried, wanted to curl into him and bring him comfort, wanted to trust him with every emotion she had. She’d go into battle for him if he needed that from her, or better still, laugh with him until they both cried. It would feel so good to stand at his side and help him with his work. Or argue with him for a while before making up—she would have to promise never to have PMS again and he would have to pledge not to be such a know-it-all. Green as a bullfrog, he’d called her. She’d never had a man in her life who could see right through her so fast, who could read her mind, feel her feelings.

Realizing she’d been off in kind of a daze, she refocused and looked at her friend. She shrugged.

“That’s what I thought,” Pam said with a smile.

Nathaniel was pressed up against the cold window of a packed 747 all the way from San Francisco to Miami. Over five hours of nighttime flying. Three or four times he got up and walked around the dimmed cabin. Normally he could sleep on long flights, but not on this one. When he arrived at his destination at 7:00 a.m. on the morning of Christmas Eve, he had almost an hour before meeting his friends for breakfast in a preselected restaurant in the international terminal.

By the time he got to the restaurant, Jerry, Ron, Cindy and Tina were there, surrounded by enough luggage to sink a cruise ship. Missing were Bob and Tom and their wives. Jerry spotted Nate first and called, “Hey, look who just dragged himself off the red-eye. You look like hell, man,” he said, grinning, sticking out a hand. “Get this man a Bloody Mary!”

Nate shook hands, hugged, accepted the drink, complete with lemon wedge and celery stalk, and raised his glass. “Great to see you guys,” he said. “We can’t keep meeting like this.”

“Beats not meeting at all.” Jerry looked at his watch. “We have an hour and a half.” He looked around and frowned. “Nathaniel, did you manage to get your luggage checked through?”

“Nah, I left it with a skycap.”

There was some head shaking. “Always has been one jump ahead of us,” Tina said.

“Thing is—I can’t make it. Sorry, guys.”

Confused stares answered him. “Um, don’t look now, buddy—but you’re in Miami. Almost at Bahama Mama heaven.”

Nate chuckled and took a sip of his Bloody Mary. “This was a good idea,” he said of the drink. “I left my luggage at the airline counter with the skycap. They’re working on a flight for me, but it looks bleak. Who would travel on Christmas Eve on purpose? Why are they booked solid? I’d never travel on Christmas Eve if I didn’t have to, but I told them I’d take anything. I might end up eating my turkey dinner right here.”

“What the hell…?”

“It’s a woman,” Nate said. He was shaking his head and laughing at himself. “I gotta get back to a woman.”

Jerry clamped a hand on his shoulder. “Okay, let me guess, you got drunk on the plane…”

“Why didn’t you just bring her?” Cindy asked.

“She couldn’t come,” Nate said. “She had all kinds of family stuff going on and she couldn’t miss it. She’s real close to her family—great family, too. So I said I’d stay home, but she said no to that. She said I should have my vacation. She insisted. And I let her.”

“All right, bud, keep your head here. Give her a call, tell her you’re miserable without her and you’ll be home soon. Hell, get a flight out in two or three days if you still feel the same way.”

“I have to go,” Nate said. “I don’t want to be sitting in a bar with you losers if they find a flight for me.” He took another swallow of his drink. He stared at it. “Really, this was a good idea. So was the trip. Anyone game to try this next year? I shouldn’t have any complications next year—that I can think of.”

“Nathaniel, if she’s the right one, she’s not going anyplace,” Jerry attempted.

He grinned. “That’s the best part. She’s not going anyplace. But you have no idea how much Christmas means to Annie. She’s like the Christmas fairy.” He chuckled. “Listen, I don’t expect you to get this, but as much as I was looking forward to spending a few days with you guys, it hit me on the plane—I’m going to feel alone without her. I’m going to be with the best friends I’ve ever had, and I’m not going to have much fun, because she’s not with me.” He shook his head. “I know where I’m supposed to be right now, and I better get there.”

“Nathaniel, this will pass,” Ron said. “How long have you known this woman?”

“Oh, jeez—about three weeks. About three of the best weeks of my life. When you find the right one, you don’t fly away and leave her wondering how you feel. See, Jerry, in case you ever find some brain-damaged female willing to throw her lot in with you, you’ll want to remember this—you better not let her out of your sight and you better not leave her without telling her you love her. Got that?”

Jerry looked confused. “Isn’t that why they invented florists? Don’t you just dial up a big, expensive batch of flowers and—”

“Nathaniel, that is so sweet,” Tina said. “I had no idea you were so sweet. Didn’t we date once? Were you ever that sweet to me?”

With a laugh, Nate put down his drink, grabbed her, hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He gave his old pal Cindy a hug. He punched Jerry in the arm and gave Ron’s hand a quick shake. “I’ll be in touch. Have a good time on the beach. Thanks for the drink. Tell Bob and Tom I’m sorry I missed them. Merry Christmas.” And he turned and strode away.