“Zero. This is it. Take it or leave it. You’ll get another chance at the title again but you can kiss it good-bye for another three or four years.”

“Shit,” I added, trying to remember all the stuff that Father Pat had told me as I started losing hold of my temper. Finally, after counting to fifty in my head, I made a decision. “Then we wait three or four years. Nothing is more important than Em.”

* * *

Four weeks to the day that we made an offer, the run-down, ramshackle shit hole that we’d fallen in love with became officially ours. It had been torn down and beat up but I intended to rebuild it, and Em would give it a soul. The irony that the house mirrored our own situation was not lost on me.

After picking up the keys from the agent we walked toward the house through the park. When we got to the bench, Em tugged on my hand as she sat, pulling me down next to her. Without needing to be asked, she cuddled her body into mine and rested her head on my chest. Watching her as she listened to my heartbeat, I felt safe. Is that odd? For a woman to make a man feel safe?

I don’t mean to say that I was afraid of the people around me. I could take care of myself well enough that the prospect of ever getting mugged or jumped didn’t bother me. Most of the time my only fear was of losing Em. She was the beating heart of me that walked around outside my body. She was my greatest strength and my Achilles’ heel. The only way to hurt me was to hurt her.

“You know you need this fight so why are you procrastinating?” she asked me. “Procrastinating means putting it off, I take it?” I queried with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes, love,” she said with a smile, “That’s exactly what it means.” She slid her fingers back and forth between mine, and I watched her tiny, pale hands, against the contrast of my own dark, callused hand. My ring was missing from her finger and she wouldn’t let me replace it, but truthfully I’d lost hope of ever getting it back. It amazed me every day that someone so small and fragile could be so strong and brave and I couldn’t find the words to explain that I wasn’t giving up. I was standing my ground to stay and protect what was mine.

“I know why you don’t want to take the fight,” she told me. “I know, but you’re making the wrong decision. This trial could be adjourned or it could be over in a couple of days, and then what? You’ve thrown away your shot at the title for nothing.”

“And what if the trial goes ahead. What kind of man am I to leave his wife to go through that alone? The fact that I couldn’t protect you once is something I have to live with for the rest of my life. But to let you stand there and face him by yourself is something I won’t ever do. So please, baby, please don’t ask.”

“But I’m not alone, O’Connell. Neither of us are. We both have enough family that I’ll practically have an army behind me. It doesn’t matter what Frank did because I will be in the front of that courtroom making sure that he never gets the chance to do it ever again. And when I’m done, I’m going to be exactly where I should have been last time. In the front row, ringside, watching my husband raise his title belt.”

A swell of pride ran through me as I imagined the look on Em’s face if I did exactly that. She was asking me to sacrifice my place at her side so that I could stand before her and lay the world at her feet. I didn’t like it. Not one little bit, but Em was the smart one. If this was what she wanted, I’d swallow the bitter pill and give it to her.

“Okay, love. You win. I’ll fight.” She squealed with excitement. “There are rules. Lots and lots of rules,” I warned her.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” she said. It humbled me that she was pleased with my decision. Frank terrified her, and she was facing him alone to offer me my dream. If there was ever a bigger gesture of love than that, I couldn’t think of one, and I knew I’d change my mind about it if I thought about it long enough.

“I’ll train with Kier and Danny alone, everyone else goes to court with you.” She nodded her head at the most obvious of my conditions. “Every time the court adjourns, you call me. I don’t care if it’s seventeen times a fucking day. You call me. I need to know you’re doing okay or it will fuck with my head.” She nodded in agreement. “I want you to sign up for rape counseling. I want to take you between my training sessions. If I can’t be with you for the trial, then I can be there for this.”

“I don’t think I need counseling, O’Connell. I’m coping with everything fine.”

“Baby, coping and dealing with it are two different things. The trial is going to bring up some ugly stuff and you need to prepare for that.” She snorted through the thick, ugly tears rolling down her face.

“Finally,” I said, threading my fingers through her hair and pulling her head gently toward me so that I could look into her eyes. “No matter which way that sick fuck looks at you, no matter what he says, you remember that you’re mine. Body and soul, just like I’m yours. I didn’t know the girl you were before he did what he did, but I know the woman you are now and I’m proud. Not because I’m a fighter but because my wife was one first and she taught me how. Nothing he can say or do in that courtroom will ever change that. I need you to remember how much I love you. You can’t let him inside your head. You survived, and when he goes down, he’s going to get in prison everything he gave to you.”

“I love you, O’Connell. You know that?” she said to me, blowing her nose.

“I love you too, Mrs. O’Connell,” I whispered, kissing the top of her head. The next couple of months would be some of the hardest we’d been through, but once Frank had been put away, I had faith that the worst would definitely be behind us.

* * *

“So we’re on? For real?” Kieran asked me.

“I don’t like it, but it’s what Em wants. So, yeah, we’re on.” Kieran and Earnshaw fist-bumped each other, and I knew they were excited about making the most of this opportunity. It didn’t occur to me to worry about whether or not I could win or how painful the cost would be to achieve that win. My body was conditioned to feel pain for so long that I didn’t fear it. I worried about how much Em could endure with this trial and without me, and it bothered me that she had to try.

Earnshaw looked at me and could see my unease. “I think you’re making the right decision, but that’s easy for me to say because I have nothing to lose. So what do we need to do to get you through this?” he asked. I looked over at Danny, who still looked concerned. He loved Em like a daughter, and he was by her side when Frank stabbed her. But this was a world title fight, which meant he needed to be with me. I wasn’t the only one who was struggling, and there was no easy fix.