I smiled from ear to ear. This girl saw me with blinkers on her eyes. She was totally blind to the fact that any father would look at my tattoos, listen to me speak, and hear what I did for a living and wonder what he’d done that was so wrong that his daughter would pick this loser. It didn’t matter if that’s exactly what he would have thought though because she would have picked me anyway. Sunshine loved me forever and, whether or not I deserved that love, I never doubted it.

“Love, I’m your husband which pretty much means that the need to protect you is programmed into my DNA. Your mum hurt you badly, so it’s only natural that I want to protect you from that. But that don’t necessarily mean I’m right. If you think that building a relationship with your ma will make you happy, then I’ll be right behind you. I won’t be fucking happy if she hurts you again, but I’ll support you in whatever you decide. I’ll even try and be nice to her if you want me to.”

“Really?” she asked, her eyebrow raised in surprise.

“Hey, I can do nice!” I said, with a mock wounded expression. “And if I can’t be nice, I’ll be quiet,” I added as an afterthought.

“You don’t think there’s any chance of making up with your mum then? Even if she quits drinking,” she asked.

“Baby, that ship sailed the minute she tried to turn you against me. It’s nothing to do with the drinking. I’ve lost track of the number of treatment programs and detox centers that I’ve gotten her into and she never saw them through, even when she showed up at all. You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. She’s an addict, but that didn’t change the fact that she’s me ma and I loved her. But when she tried to take you from me, I knew for sure that she never loved me back.

“And you’re okay with that?” she asked.

“I found someone who puts me first and loves me with all her heart. I gained more than I lost,” I replied. “Sylvia only wanted to be a part of my life as long as she had something to gain from it. Your ma is telling you that she just wants to get to know you. Give it some time. She’ll either prove herself or condemn herself. Either way, you’ll never look back and wonder ‘what if.’”

* * *

Closing the door behind me, I turned her shoulders and walked her toward the bathroom.

“Come on. I’ll run you a nice, hot bath. With candles and that foamy shit you like.” She nodded and gave me a small, sad smile.

“You okay? I haven’t really asked how you’re doing with all this court stuff.”

“It’s been a rough couple of days. The court stuff’s been mostly procedural so far. It’s going to get rough when it comes to giving evidence because the defense will get to cross-examine me.”

Hearing shit like that made it hard for me not to punch a hole through the middle of the plasterboard.

“Seeing him though was the worst. I know he’s trying to catch my eye in the courtroom. I sit in the stalls with the guys around me and look anywhere but at him. I don’t want to give him any more power over me, you know?”

My fists clenched and released as I tried to let go of the stranglehold on my temple. Father Pat told me to make lists in my head, to focus on one thing, then move on to the next. Put the plug in the bath, add the foamy shit, turn on the taps.

Em stood before me, slowly getting undressed. Instead of thinking about how angry I was, I focused on how to take that sad look from her face. As the tiny room started filling up with the steam of the hot water, I grabbed her waist. Gently moving her body between my legs I swirled my tongue around that pink, teasing little nub. One hand drifted to massage the neglected breast, as the steam wound around us like a blanket.

She gasped as my tongue swirled around her nipple then flicked it back and forth. I knew by the spasm in her body that pleasure was going straight to her core. Swapping hands, I released one breast only to feast on the other.

I fucking burned to be inside her so bad. But this wasn’t about me. It was about taking Em away from that dark place and reminding her that she wasn’t alone. Rising up, I lifted her to sit on the sink. Her hands gripped it to brace herself, and her feet rested on either side of me on the edge of the tub. That was a testament to how small the bathroom was. I sat back down and kissed my way from her ankle all the way to her clit. Swirling around it with my tongue, I teased and teased her closer and closer to the edge of orgasm then brought her back down again. When I knew that every bit of her undivided attention was focused on me, I slid one finger gently inside her warm, wet pussy and carried on licking.

“Jesus, O’Connell. Don’t stop please.” she begged me. My answer was to slide a second digit in to her tight little hole. She moaned as my momentum increased. Thrusting her pelvis toward me, I could feel from the slight tightening and tremor around my fingers just how close she was to coming. When she was almost there, I scissored my fingers gently inside her, took her clit between my lips and sucked. Arching her spine she threw her head back in overwhelming pleasure. The sight of her coming, clenching and tightening around my fingers as she tried to milk a cock that wasn’t there, blew me away. This wasn’t just sex, it was making love. Both of us knew the difference.

“I think I broke my spine,” she told me with a slight giggle. I lifted her off the sink onto wobbly legs.

“How d’you feel?” I asked, before nibbling gently on her ear.

“Loved up. Very, very, very loved up,” she told me, kissing her way across my jaw until finally pressing a kiss to my lips. Grabbing her head, I kissed her harder, pulling her warm, naked body hard against my clothed one. My dick pressed painfully against her but I ignored it. She needed that to get rid of the stress and relieve some pressure, and I made sure my girl got what she needed. I always would.

“I’m desperate to return the favor, you know that, right?” she asked.

“I know, Sunshine. But with blue balls is my favorite way to train,” I assured her with a wink. Yanking my T-shirt over the top of my head, I pulled the warm fabric down over her. It swamped her as always but I took comfort seeing her wrapped in something of mine and covered in my scent. As I carried her to bed, I thought about all the dark shit behind us and everything we had yet to face but then I focused on the fact that Em would spend the whole of the next day with me. When you find yourself fighting a battle that might consume you, you have to take the small victories where you find them.