“And if he gets released?” I asked because I’d seen how fearful she was back then and I didn’t want that life for her.

“Then we’ll deal with that too. And honestly I don’t know what he’ll do if he does go free. I’m not alone anymore, and he’s been accused once. Even if there isn’t enough evidence to convict him, maybe mud will stick,” she answered. She still sounded strangely detached, but at least now I had more of an idea where her head was at.

“How do you get to be so strong?” I asked.

“I found myself a family of fighters,” she replied with a small smile. It was small but I would take it. “Why did we really come here?” she asked.

“Because I wanted to remind you that Frank is all about your past, but this is our future. For better or worse, once this trial is done, this is the future we have to look forward to together.”

“You’re a good man, Cormac O’Connell,” she replied softly.

“I know, baby,” I said on a sigh, like my goodness was more like a burden I had to carry. It was all sarcasm. I wasn’t a good man. Given the opportunity, I’d cut Frank’s balls off with a rusty bread knife and feed them to him. In my book, rapists deserved nothing less. Em knew that about me and loved me anyway. “Come on, baby. Let’s get you home. You get a hot shower and a broad chest to cry on.”

She reached over and linked her fingers with mine, and I thanked God for the connection. My Em was buried under a mountain of pain and grief, but she was still there, and I’d keep digging until she was back here with me where she belonged.

* * *

The next day dawned and I can’t say I’d had much sleep. I spent nearly the whole night just watching over her. After the stress and worry of having to give evidence, Em seemed exhausted. She’d slept for more than ten hours when I woke her.

“We have to get going soon if we’re going to make it to court,” I warned her. I’d showered and shaved and was already wearing my suit when I crouched beside her. She turned over in bed and leaned on one arm as she brushed some lint off my shirt with the other.

“I’m not going.” Her voice was gravelly, like she’d been crying. I hadn’t taken my eyes off her for most of the night but I had the feeling she’d have a good cry the minute she was alone.

“Then I’ll stay too,” I told her.

“No. I need her to see you in that courtroom. She’s talked a lot about wanting to be part of my life again, so let’s see if she saves me or throws me to the wolves. Seeing you there will remind her of the choice she’s making.”

“I’d never make you do anything you didn’t want to do but don’t you think she’d be more rattled if you were there?”

She fiddled with my tie knot absentmindedly as she chose her words. “When she closed the door and let Frank rape me, a part of me died. I lost my virginity and my mother at the same time. I can’t go back there. If she’s going to betray me again, I need you to cushion the fall.”

I nodded and kissed her forehead. “Try and get some sleep, baby,” I told her. “You look exhausted.”

“You’ll ring me as soon as you know anything?” she asked.

“No. Whatever there is to tell you, I’ll say as soon as I get home. That way you won’t fear the worst if you don’t hear and you won’t be waiting on my call.”

Sitting up, she hugged me tightly, like it was the last time she’d ever get to do it, and kissed me good-bye. I let Kieran in after a gentle knock sounded at the flat door. The main security door was about as secure as our gym lockers, meaning that none of the guys ever bothered even buzzing anymore.

“Can you give me a sec?” I asked Kieran.

“Sure why?”

“I need to leave Em a note. She’s not coming with us. And I need to ask Nikki to come over and sit with her. Can you give her a call for me?” I said.

“No need,” he replied. “She got a flat this morning and phoned for a lift. She’s downstairs in Tommy’s car. I’ll go and get her.”

“Thanks, Kier,” I told him as I grabbed one of Em’s lined notebooks and a pen.

Hey Sunshine,

I know you couldn’t be here but I don’t want you feeling bad about it either. Pretty soon for better or worse, this will all be over and I promise you that happy ever after I’ve been selling you will be just around the corner. Remember how much I love you and if things get really bad, I’ve hid an emergency bar of chocolate behind the herbal tea bags in the cupboard.

Love you forever

OC xxx

P.S. Why the fuck do we have herbal tea bags?

I handed the note to Nikki as she walked through the door in a black suit. “Are you sure you don’t mind staying with her?” I asked quietly from the doorway.

“She’s my best friend, Con. Of course I don’t mind. I’ve given Tommy my flat keys, which is probably a really bad idea, but he’s going to go back to my place for a hoodie, my laptop, and some DVDs. He’ll probably end up hanging out here with us then if his dad doesn’t need him. I’ll make him do some practice papers on those psychometric tests.”

“He told you about that?” I asked curiously.

“Sure. We butt heads a lot but we’re becoming fairly good friends.” I raised my eyebrow at her.

“It’s not like that! Jesus, I knew your mind would be in the gutter about it.”

“Hey, as long as you’ve had all of your jabs, carry on.” She knew I was winding her up so she just rolled her eyes at me.

“See you later,” I said, grabbing my wallet and keys as I made my way to the door.

“When should I give it to her?” She asked me, waving the note.

“When you think she needs it most,” was my answer.

* * *

I walked up the steps of the law courts, flanked by Liam and Kieran like bodyguards, and met Danny at the top. Surprisingly Earnshaw was with him.

“What are you doing here?” I asked him, and he shrugged.

“It didn’t feel right at the gym yesterday. I know I don’t know you that well, but I thought I’d show my support.”

“Appreciate that,” I told him. Looking at him standing there with his hands in his pockets, I was selfishly glad Em had stayed at home. He wore his expensive suit far better than I wore my cheap one.