“Hell, I wouldn’t want to do that,” Conn Arthur grunted.

“You think he can do that?”

Conn Arthur examined the terrain. “It’s a suicide run.”

“That’s right,” Kip said. He let that sit, didn’t defend it.

“But one that will save many lives if it works,” Conn Arthur said.

“If,” Kip said. “It’s a gamble. He may die for nothing.” He wasn’t going to twist the conn’s arm into this.

Conn Arthur was quiet again. Then he said, “Surely a man who gives his life trying to save his friends is just as much a hero as one who dies actually saving them, right?”

“Better to die trying to do good than make your own brother blow your head off,” Kip said.

Conn Arthur took a deep breath. Then nodded. “Rónán would’ve agreed with that.”

“Then go and speak with him. If all goes well, tomorrow night we celebrate, and the next day we mourn.”

“As it should be,” Conn Arthur said. He had regained some composure, but he was still taking deep, gulping breaths. He left swiftly.

Kip sat down and silently studied the map. Tisis came up beside him, and he rested his hand companionably on her hip.

“You did good there,” she said.

“Did I?” he asked.

“How could you even ask that?” she said. “You gave him every chance to come clean on his own, and then when he didn’t, you gave him the chance to give his brother a hero’s death.”

“But why?” Kip said.

“What do you mean?”

“Did I hold back until now because I didn’t want to force him to kill his brother, and lo and behold! here came an opportunity to avoid all that! Or did I, like my grandfather, keep Rónán off the table like a card to play at an opportune moment? Am I a good man, or just a fatter iteration of Andross Guile?”

She let part of that pass, though he saw the tightness in her jaw. “So you did something devious and brilliant and also callous. But it was also kind, and respectful, and life giving. What if, my lord husband, you are a man with not one nature, but two?”

“Two?”

“What if you were not only flesh, but also spirit, and those moments when you bring the two together are not failures, but are your moments of deepest integrity and brilliance?”

“You think I’m brilliant?” Kip asked.

“I can’t believe you still question it,” she said. “But the real question is, do you think you’re good?”

“No,” Kip said without hesitation. “Competent. Crazy stubborn. Cunning sometimes.”

She sighed and looked at the map. “What are you looking for?”

“Clarity,” he said. He thought about getting out the rope spear and working on it quietly for a few minutes or an hour to ease his mind. Young Garret had died in a raid and shattered his heirloom sea demon bone spear. Kip thought he’d figured out a way to make those bone fragments into the spine for the rope spear, which would give it some unique abilities.

But Tisis always got that aggrieved look on her face when he worked on the thing, like he wasn’t paying attention to her or something. He didn’t know what her problem was, but she seemed to hate the thing.

Anyway, it could stay in its bag for now. Enough time to take it out after Tisis went to bed.

She said nothing for a few minutes, then kissed his cheek. “You’ll not find clarity tonight, I think. Come to bed or you’ll stay up so late that it costs you the clarity you’ll need tomorrow.”

He followed her to the other side of the command tent. Their personal quarters consisted of a small area separated by a curtain, a chest to sit on, and a pile of blankets on the ground. There was barely room for the room slave Verity (a gift from Eirene that they had not been able to refuse) to stand with them, helping Tisis undress. “I’ll not be able to sleep,” Kip said.

Truth was, he wouldn’t mind some distraction before he went back to the maps. They hadn’t made love all day.

“You don’t need sleep tonight,” she said.

Well, that was promising, especially as Verity peeled away her dress.

But Tisis dismissed the slave and continued. “What you need is introspection and time. Come and rest on my breast.”

“Rest… after?” he asked.

“No.”

“Rest… first?” he asked.

“Only. Rest only. You wouldn’t lose yourself to pleasure tonight, or if you did, you’d feel guilty about doing so while Conn Arthur is out having one of the worst nights of his life.”

“Be nice to forget all that for a little while.”

“Tonight you need to think about brothers, and family, and what they mean. And that means thinking about what you didn’t have and don’t have and what you were cheated of and what you’re thankful for. I don’t want to help you avoid that hurt, Kip. I want to help you heal it.”

Kip lay his head in her lap as she stroked his hair, and then later upon her breast. He didn’t think. Though she’d expected him to think of family and of love, for the longest time, here in her softness and her strength, here with this family and this love, he didn’t think at all.

Chapter 60

Teia made her way back to her room, which she entered unseen in the chaos. She wasn’t sure how long she could afford to wait, but she was glad she had when someone banged on her door not ten minutes later.

A captain of the Tafok Amagez was standing there.

“What is it?” Teia asked. “I’ve heard shouting. My lady ordered me earlier to stay in my room tonight no matter what. Is she safe?”

“Yes,” the man said. “Everyone’s fine. There’s been a death.”

“A death? What happened?” Teia asked.

“Please stay in your room for the rest of the night.”

Teia gave him a suspicious look. “Well, now you’re making me nervous. My lady’s safety is my sole charge. Do I need to be alarmed? Should I—”

“Absolutely not. General’s orders. Stay put. I’m putting men outside your rooms to guarantee your safety. We’ve already checked on your lady. She’s fine. The death was an accident. We’re just taking precautions given the fraught nature of relations with the Chromeria right now. Can’t have any well-meaning idiots jump to conclusions and maybe do something we all regret.”