Cithrin

Word of the destruction of Vanai washed over Porte Oliva. In the Grand Market and at the port, in the taprooms and the wayhouses and the steps that led to the brick-and-glass labyrinth that was the governor's palace, detail piled upon detail as reports came in by ship and horse and raw speculation. The city had burned for three days. The Antean forces had barred the gate and slaughtered anyone who tried to escape. The canals had been drained so that there would be no water to slow the fire. The Anteans had poured barrels of lamp oil in the streets before they left. The heat had shattered stones. The smoke had carried the smell of burning as far as Maccia and turned the sunsets red. Charred bodies were still clogging the weirs at Newport.

Cithrin grabbed at each rumor like one of the ever-present beggars watching for dropped coins. At first, she hadn't believed it. Cities didn't die overnight. The streets and canals she'd known all her life couldn't become ruins just because someone said it, even if the man speaking was an Antean general. It was ridiculous. But with every retelling, every new voice that said the same things, her incredulity faded. Even if they were all only echoing one another, the weight of their combined belief pulled her along.

Vanai was dead.

"Are you all right?" Sandr asked.

Cithrin leaned forward, her legs swinging from the side of the actors' cart like a child sitting on too high a stool. Around them, the midday crowd shuffled. She watched a reed-thin Cinnae boy thread himself through the press of bodies, following the colorless thatch of his hair. The smell of the sea brine made the air feel cooler than it was. She didn't know how to answer, but she tried.

"I don't know. I think so. It's hard to live in the middle of all this," she said, nodding at the press of humanity around them, "and really feel the deaths. I mean, I know that Magister Imaniel is gone. And Cam must be too. All the boys who played in the streets are dead, and that makes me sad sometimes. But when I start thinking that it's all gone - the fresh market and the palaces and the flat barges and all of it - it gets... I don't know. Abstract?"

"That's a good word for it," Sandr said, nodding as if he knew what she meant.

"Nobody knows me now. I've lived my whole life in Vanai. It felt like everyone knew who I was. What I was. And now that they're all gone, there's nothing holding me to that anymore. Captain Wester, Yardem Hane, you, and Master Kit's company. You are the people in the world who know me best."

"It's hard," Sandr said, taking her hand.

No, that's the only good part, she thought. When nobody knows what you are, you can be anything.

"Sandr!" Master Kit called. "It's time."

"Yes, sir," Sandr said, jumping to his feet. He looked down at Cithrin and smiled gently, much the way he did when he took the stage. "You'll be here when it's done?"

Cithrin nodded. It wasn't as if she had someplace else to be. Besides which, Sandr's sudden change of heart was interesting. She assumed that some more attractive girl had refused him, and he'd fallen back to court her while his confidence healed. He believed, after their moments beside the mill pond, that she was an easy conquest. Cithrin wondered whether she was. More than that, she wondered whether she'd like to be. She slipped off the cart and into the crowd.

Mikel was already there, halfheartedly pretending to be a local. He caught her eyes and grinned. She nodded back, then turned to watch Smit and Hornet lower the stage. When the chains had caught, Master Kit strode out onto the boards. He wasn't wearing his Orcus the Demon King robes anymore. With Opal gone, the story of Aleren Mankiller and the Sword of the Dragons had been set aside. Instead, a shimmering blue cape flowed from the shoulders of a matching tunic. Bright yellow ribbon gartered green hose, and the most ridiculous shoes seen by human eyes bobbled around his toes.

"Hell-lo!" Master Kit cried in comic falsetto. "I said, hello there! Yes, you, in that wonderful hat. Why don't you stop for a while. God knows you've nothing better to do. And you, there at the back. Come closer, you might see something you like. What? You might. And - "

Master Kit stopped, his face a mask of shock. Cithrin felt a thrill of fear, half turning to follow his gaze.

"Oh, not you, dear," Master Kit went on in the same false voice, his hand fluttering like a sparrow. "You keep right on going."

The crowd laughed. Cithrin and Mikel were meant to lead them, but there were already half a dozen others who had stopped to watch. The Bride's Curse was a comedic sex play with half a dozen costume changes that could be performed with only one woman. Master Kit had changed the traditional lines to match with the specifics of Porte Oliva: the rhymes appealing to the king had all been remade for a queen, and instead of the evil landlord being disguised as a Yemmu with a false shoulder and mouth tusks, Smit jumped onto the stage in a bead-woven sheep pelt as the world's least convincing Kurtadam. Cithrin laughed and clapped, not leading the crowd so much as adding to its flow.

When the end came and the players took their bows amid a modest shower of coin, she was almost surprised to find herself returned to her own life. Hiding in Porte Oliva, waiting for the next thieves to attack in the night.

And Vanai dead.

Sandr came out from the cart wiping the paint from his face with a damp rag. The smears at his eyes and mouth made him look younger than he was. Or perhaps they made him seem his age, when he usually passed himself as a worn coin.

"Went well," he said through a grin.

"It did," Cithrin agreed.

"Buy you that meal now, if you'd like," he said. Over his shoulder, Cithrin caught a glimpse of Cary scowling at them from the cart and imagined what she would see. Sandr, the leading man. Cithrin, the naive second-choice girl. Or perhaps Sandr, member of the troupe, and Cithrin, the reason Opal was gone. The pinched lips and furrowed brow could have been disapproval of her or of Sandr. Cithrin didn't know which it was.

Find out, Magister Imaniel said from her memory or else his grave.

Cithrin lifted a hand only as high as her waist, barely a wave. Cary returned it, and then pointed at Sandr and tilted her head. Really? If she'd been angry about Opal, at most she would have smiled and waved. Surprised by relief, Cithrin shrugged. Cary rolled her eyes and went back into the cart.

"What?" Sandr said, looking over his shoulder. "Did I miss something?"

"Just Cary," Cithrin said. "You said something about a meal?"

The taproom nearest her rooms served plates of chicken and pickled carrots that they claimed went well with the dark beer. Sandr paid five extra coins for the privilege of a private table with a single bench, kept apart from the commons by a draped cloth too humble to be called a curtain. He slid onto the bench at her side, with a tankard of black beer and a wide mug of fortified wine for her. His leg settled easily beside hers, as if the touch were perfectly normal. Cithrin considered shifting to leave a few inches between them. Instead, she drank a generous mouthful of the wine, enjoying the bite of it. Sandr smiled and sipped at his own beer.

This was, she realized, a negotiation. He wanted to do some of the things he'd just finished mocking in the sex play, and he in turn was willing to offer up food and alcohol, attention and sympathy. And, whether he knew it or not, experience. Implicit exchange was something Magister Imaniel had talked about several times, and always with disdain. He'd liked the precision of measuring coin. Here, in the warmth of the taproom, the tastes of salted meat and fortified wine warming her blood, Cithrin wasn't sure she agreed. Surely imprecision had its place.

"I'm sorry about Vanai," Sandr said, using the same gambit he'd tried before the play.

Now what was the effect of saying that? Reminding her how badly she needed reassurance and the feeling of connection, she supposed. Making the things he offered seem valuable. Still, he'd made that point earlier. Stating it again was a mistake. Maybe if he'd interspersed it with other tactics. He could devalue her side of the exchange. If, for instance he'd criticized her dress or the cut of her hair, making it clear that lying down at her side wasn't likely worth so much. The danger there being that she might take offense and end the negotiation. Or pretend offense as a way of forcing him to raise his offer.

"Cithrin?" he said, and she shook herself.

"I'm sorry," she said. "My mind was elsewhere."

"The beer's good. Have you been here before?"

"I've meant to," she said. "Something's always come up."

"Want some?"

"All right," she said.

She'd expected him to pass his tankard to her, but instead he lifted his arm, calling over the server, and bought a tankard just for her. It was complex and thick, the alcohol lurking in a rich play of flavors. It didn't have the astringent cleanness of the fortified wine. How had Captain Wester put it? Get her stupid drunk to get her knees apart. Something like that.

It occurred to her that Sandr wasn't a man with a wide variety of strategies.

"I don't remember my parents," Cithrin said. "The bank raised me, bought my clothes and tutors."

"You must have loved them," Sandr said, playing the part of the consoler with his voice and pressing his thigh against hers with just a bit more fervor. Still, Cithrin considered the question.

Had she loved Magister Imaniel? She supposed so. She'd certainly loved Cam and wanted Besel. She'd wept for them all when the first news came. But she wasn't weeping now. The grief was still with her, but there was something else beside it. A terrible sense of possibility.

"I suppose I must," she said.

He took her hand, as if in sympathy. His brow furrowed and he leaned toward her.

"I'm so sorry, Cithrin," he said, and to her amazement, tears came to her eyes. That couldn't be right.

Sandr leaned forward, dabbing gently at her eyes with the cuff of his sleeve. Washing away the tears he had called forth. The stab of resentment at the little hypocrisy clarified many questions.

"Captain Wester!" she gasped, and Sandr dropped her hand like it had bit him. He glanced out from behind the almost-curtain.

"Where?" he said.

"He just stepped into the other room," Cithrin said. "Go, Sandr. Before he sees you!"

Sandr swallowed, nodded once, and slipped off the bench, heading for the alley door. Cithrin watched him go, then reached over and pulled his tankard to her as well. The chicken did go well with it after all. As she drank, her mind wandered. She wasn't angry at Sandr, but she couldn't bring herself to respect him. On another night, she might have let his scene play out, if only to see where it led. But it was increasingly clear that Master Kit intended to remain in Porte Oliva for some time. Since she wasn't sure when or how she'd depart the city, making that kind of connection was sure to complicate things. And then what if she got pregnant? Everything would fall apart then. Easier to stay out than to get out later. Still, she did wonder what it would have been like. Her mind shifted back to the mill pond, the snow against her skin, the weight of the boy upon her.

She finished the second beer and went back to the fortified wine. Alcohol was supposed to soften the mind, but she didn't feel soft at all. Or at least not in a way that left her unaware. She was more relaxed, certainly. The ever-present knot in her gut was looser, and she felt more at home in her skin. But her thinking was as clear as ever. Maybe clearer. She had the sense of huge thoughts shifting just beneath her awareness, her mind comparing and scheming with a speed and elegance that she couldn't quite keep up with herself. She ate some of the pickled carrots, finished the wine, and got another tankard of the beer.

When she stepped out the door, the sun had already set. Porte Oliva lounged in the grey twilight. Lanterns flickered and glowed. Men and women scurried through the streets, anxious to get home before twilight had entirely faded. The air was cold but not bitter. This wasn't a mild winter evening so much as a chilly springtime. She let herself drift down the street, her mind plucking at thoughts, turning them over, and dropping them again. How old Sandr seemed on the stage, and how young off it. The emptiness in her heart that was the death of Magister Imaniel and Cam, the almost vertiginous need to fill it, and her almost clinical detachment from her pain. The impending trip to Carse, smuggling wealth she hadn't stolen. The books of the bank records, sums and ciphers tracing history from the foundational document to the last rush of fleeing aristocracy. Opal's betrayal and Captain Wester's loyalty. She remembered something Master Kit had said about the shape of Wester's soul, and wondered what shape her own soul might take.

A Cinnae woman hurried past, her robes wrapped with pink-and-orange gauze, her face pale as the moon. A dog barked from the shadowed mouth of an alleyway. Three Kurtadam men walked past her, beads clicking and jingling in their pelts, said something she didn't understand, and then laughed together. She ignored them. The glow of her own windows shone just up ahead. If anyone were to attack her now, she'd only have to call out and Captain Wester and Yardem Hane would come. It was a pleasant thought, and enough to make her feel safe whether she was or not.

She pulled herself up the stairs to the steady creaking of Captain Wester's pacing footsteps. She opened the door to his scowl.

"You've been out for quite a while," he said.

Cithrin shrugged.

"How much have you been drinking?"

Cithrin walked over to the cot and sat beside the Tralgu. Yardem smelled like open fields and damp dogs. She repressed the urge to scratch his wide back. Captain Wester was still looking at her, waiting for an answer.

"I don't recall exactly," she said. "I wasn't paying for most of it."

Wester hoisted an eyebrow.

"The thaw's almost come. We have to make a decision," she said, her words precise and unslurred.

"That's true," the captain said, crossing his arms. The failing daylight from the windows softened the lines of his scowl and the grey at his temples. He looked young. Cithrin remembered that Opal had found the man attractive and wondered whether she did. She'd lived with him for weeks. Months, counting the time on the road. She wondered for the first time whether his mouth would taste like Sandr's, then pulled her mind back to the moment, more than half repulsed by her own musings.

"No matter how we try to reach Carse," she said, "the danger is that someone will kill us and take the money."

"Old news," Captain Wester said.

"So we need to take the money ourselves," she said, understanding as she said it what she'd been considering all night. "We need to use it."

"Probably the wisest thing we could do," the captain said. "Take what we can carry and vanish."

"No," she said. "I mean take all of it."

The Tralgu at her side flicked a jingling ear. Captain Wester licked his lips and looked down.

"If we took all of it, we'd be in the same situation we are now," he said. "We'd still have to hide the money or protect it. Only we'd have your friends in Carse after our heads. That's not an improvement. We can talk about this when you're sober," he said.

"No, listen to me. We've been acting like smugglers. We aren't. You've always said we can't keep this much money quiet and we can't keep it safe. Opal proved that. So we shouldn't keep it quiet."

Wester and Yardem exchanged a silent glance, and the captain sighed. Cithrin stood and walked across to the unsealed books. Her feet were perfectly steady. Her hands didn't waver as she pulled out the black leather binding. She opened to the first pages and handed them to the captain.

"Documents of foundation," she said. "We write up a copy of our own, but for Porte Oliva instead of Vanai. We've got a hundred documents with Magister Imaniel's signature and thumb. We can pick some minor contract and use it to forge letters of foundation. File the documents with the governor, pay the fees and bribes, and then I can invest all of this."

"Invest it," the captain said as if she'd said eat it.

"The silk and tobacco and spices I can place on consignment. Even if they're stolen from the merchants, the bank would be paid. We can do the same with the jewelry or sell it outright for funds, and then make loans. Or buy into local businesses. We'll have to hold back some portion. Five hundredths, perhaps? But with the name of the Medean bank behind me, I could turn over nine-tenths of what we have in this room into papers of absolutely no value to anyone else before the trade ships come from Narinisle. What was left wouldn't be too tempting to guard."

"You are very, very drunk," Wester said. "The way you steal is you take something and then you leave."

"I'm not stealing it. I'm keeping it safe," Cithrin said. "This is how banks work. You never keep all the money there to be stolen by whoever finds a way to break your strongbox. You put it out into the world. If you take a loss or someone steals your working funds, you still have all your incomes and agreements. You can recover. And if it all goes wrong, what? We get thrown in prison?"

"Prison is bad," Yardem rumbled.

"Not as bad as killed and dropped in the sea," Cithrin said. "If you do what I say, the chances of keeping the money go up and the consequences of failure go down."

"You want," Captain Wester said, his voice tight, "to take a great deal of money that isn't yours and start your own branch of the bank that you're stealing the money from? They'll come for you."

"Of course they will," Cithrin said. "And when they do, I'll have what's theirs and more besides. If I've done it right."

Cithrin saw the disbelief in his face wavering on the border between amusement and outrage. She stamped her foot.

"Listen to me," she said. "Listen to my voice, Captain. I can do this."

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