She put a hand up, "Shhhh, we don’t talk about it. It'll jinx it."

I laughed, "Okay. I just wanted you to know, he is the best."

She smiled at me, "I know, right? He is." Her sigh was lovely and sweet. I could have sipped from the nectar she was putting in the air. It was like fairy magic. I could almost see it. She gave me a sideways look, "You know I'm coming in with you, right?"

I nodded, "I was hoping so."

She sighed, "You think Steve is a bad guy?"

I shook my head slowly, thinking about it, "No. I don’t. I think he's a good guy, but we can't trust him. We can't trust anyone."

"Not even Servario."

My eyes felt dead as I stared straight ahead and answered flatly, "No. Especially not him. We can use him and let him use us, but we can't trust him."

Chapter Nine

New Evie

I rolled over in the bed, stretching and blinking to the sound of Luce doing some shit out in the living room. It had been a beautiful sleep. I was absolutely exhausted. The time change, jet lag, being awake for so long, getting screwed all night long, and then of course, served a nice warm cup of broken heart. It had all really taken it out of me. I opened an eye to see the panicked stare of Luce through the small crack in the doorway to the bedroom. I shot up from the bed as a trickle of blood dripped from her lips. She made a mewl like a sheep and dropped to her knees. She shook her head and mouthed, "Run!"

I couldn’t breathe or make a sound. Everything was stuck in the crimson liquid dripping down her lips. I shook my head, trying to see past her. There was no movement.

"Luce, just tell me where she is. I know she's here." James' voice rang out in the hotel room. I rolled over, dropping to the floor silently. "I didn’t recognize the young man with you, but you—you I recognized instantly. You haven’t changed a bit, still so beautiful and strong. I couldn’t believe my luck when I saw you."

I was breathing into the carpet, terrified. I crawled under the bed and watched as his black leather shoes sauntered in slowly, "I want my money, Luce. I know Evie has it. I know Servario moved it when I crossed him with Roxy. I know he gave it to Evie. If you're here, so is Evie. Who else is with you?" He dropped to a knee over her body, I could barely see them in the crack of the doorway, "Does she know about us? Did you tell her?"

Luce made a gurgling sound. Tears were streaming down my cheeks as I shook my head. He got up, "You give her this note from me when you see her next."

I held my breath and tears as he crumpled some paper into her bloody hand and got up. I heard the door close, but I didn’t move. I couldn’t. I laid there, frozen and scared. When I didn’t hear anything, I crawled to the edge of the bed and pulled the phone down to me.

I dialed the zero.

"Bonjourno?"

"Hi, room 715. I need an ambulance. There has been an attack."

"Ma'am, I can barely hear you."

My voice wavered as I tried to speak louder, "Hurry the f**k up and send an ambulance. Someone has been hurt badly. An intruder is in the room. Hurry." I hung up the phone and crawled to the door. I peeked through, but there was no movement. I crawled to Luce, gripping her hands, "Luce, can you hear me?"

She nodded, still gargling. "Kill him," she croaked.

I nodded, wiping my tears and lifting her shirt to see the stab wound in her lungs. She would drown if they didn’t hurry. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door as men burst through it. Police and first aid. They were talking Italian very fast, shouting at me. I pointed, "My friend, please help her. Some man came in here and hurt her." I crumpled the paper I had taken from her bloody fingers. They pushed me out of the way. I ran and pulled on jeans and a t-shirt. The police grabbed my arm as I tried to walk out of the room, "What happened?"

I shook my head, "I don’t know. I just want to go to the hospital. I was sleeping, I woke and she was like this. I heard a man talking and then he was gone. I called for help."

He gave me a look of disbelief, "You heard him and you stayed in the room?"

I nodded, "I hid under the bed."

He scowled, "While your friend was being hurt?"

I felt the shame he was trying to make me feel, "I should have helped her, but I was scared."

"Did she know him?"

I nodded, "I think so, I think he's an American she dated. It sounded like him anyway, and I know he's in Rome right now. We ran into him last night." I described James to a T and gave the police officer the name of the person I thought it might be, lying and saying he was an ex-boyfriend of hers. At least that way Interpol and the Italian police would be looking for him. He questioned me until Coop and Jack showed up. They both looked scared when they saw the police and the blood. I couldn’t meet Jack's eyes. The police officer left me his card with the hospital's name on it and walked past Coop and Jack.

When we were alone, I nodded, "We have to hurry, Luce's been taken to a hospital."

Jack's face paled, "What happened?"

I pointed, "I'll explain on the ride over, we need to hurry."

When we got to the hospital, we ran inside, careless of who would see us or recognize us. I didn’t even have my wig on, just my jeans and a ponytail. She was in surgery when we got there. Coop gave them her medical information as Jack and I sat against the wall, waiting. He was silent and I was sick with shame.

"I should have helped her, Jack. I'm sorry. I woke up and he was there and they must have been fighting. She must have been protecting me."

He nodded, "It was her job, Evie."

It didn’t change the fact I hid while she was nearly dying in the room. I got up and walked to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet, rocking back and forth. The training hadn’t kicked in. Survival had. I imagined my kids with no one but him, James. I had seen the things I had to protect and Luce hadn’t been one of them, she was my teammate, and I had not protected her.

I got up and walked to the sink to wash my face as Coop came in.

"What the f**k, Evie? Why didn’t you help her?"

I shook my head, "I don’t want to talk about this right now. I feel bad, really bad."

He shoved me slightly, "You should. She was your partner and you let her nearly die. They don’t even know if she's going to make it, and you let him get away. You should have killed him. A real agent would have."

I shoved him back, "I know that. Don’t you think I know that?"

He shook his head, "I don’t think you do. I don’t think you get this at all. We aren’t your bodyguards anymore. You aren’t the yoga mom anymore. This is the real deal—you are on the team. Fucking start acting like it, before I ship you home. I have half a mind to do it now. You get into Servario's, and instead of just getting the info and getting out, you stay and f**k him all night long. You need a nap so Luce has to watch over you and now she's hurt. This isn’t the Princess Evie show. It's a f**king mission to find your ex and kill him, find out who tried to kill you and kill them, and find out who is after the Burrow so we can all have a normal life again." He was spitting mad. His face was flushed with rage.

I had no excuse and no answer. I stood there, biting my lip to prevent it from quivering and nodded, "I know. I'm sorry."

He sighed, "Don’t apologize, it pisses me off more. You piss me off. I can't believe you stayed the night with him. Why? You like getting used like a slut by the bad guys of the world?"

My hand flung out fast as horrible words left my lips, "You sold me to him, you bipolar f**k. You set me up for it." When my hand made contact, he didn’t budge. He stood there as his cheek turned bright red.

He nodded, "Okay, I deserved that. You aren’t a whore and I know that. I just don’t get why you didn’t take the power away from him. I don’t get why you didn’t do that with James, and you let Luce get attacked. Why aren’t you being the girl I know you can be?"

I started to cry, partly out of fear from slapping him so hard, and partly out of shame and the feeling I was lost, completely. I shook my head, "I don’t know. That reckless girl I once was is gone. I have to be a mom, Coop. I have to live for my kids."

He grabbed my arms, shaking me slightly, "Evie, your best chance at living is ending this shit. Fight back and end it, and you can be a mom. Fight back and make this all go away."

I started to cry harder, "I'm sorry."

He looked like he might kill me at any second, "Don’t be sorry, be strong. And trust me, I am trying to help you." I sniffled and let him pull me into his chest. He wrapped around me, "Stop letting him and James be the most powerful things in your life."

I closed my eyes and let it all go, so that I could try to see it all in perspective. I listened as Coop's footsteps left me there alone. I didn’t want to be there when he came back. I took the opportunity to go think quietly and alone. I wandered the halls of the hospital, but they were worse than sitting outside of Luce's room. I found an old set of stairs that led to a quiet place, far removed from the pain and suffering of the hospital rooms.

The roof of the hospital was old and dirty, but there was a great spot to sit and mull over the essence of my existence.

I sat on a concrete form and looked out over the ancient city, letting the whole of the past month run through my head. Coop, although his delivery always sucked, was right. I was letting them all be bigger than I was. My insides tightened as I contemplated it all.

James—James was the key to it all.

I got up and paced.

He must have known from the start who my father was. Was that possible? He might have.

My father was a smart man, but James… he seemed invincible. We all treated him like he was stupid, but was he? Was he dumb or was he a genius? I got up and started to pace as I tapped my fingernail against my nose and walked back and forth, processing. Of course, James knew who my father was. That was the only way this all made sense. He used me to get to my father. He dated me, ‘accidentally’ knocking me up, and was forced to marry me.