Chapter 5

“I’m not sure why you ever dated Matt,” Meg said as she walked with me to the subway station.

“He’s a nice enough guy.” I sighed, feeling guilty. Meg didn’t know the whole story, and I was ashamed of myself for keeping secrets from her.

“I know, he seemed nice.” She agreed. “He just didn’t seem like the sort of guy you go for.”

“What guys?” I rolled my eyes. “Matt’s the only other guy I’ve really dated, besides Brandon.”

“I know, and it’s time for you to finally move on.” Meg stopped and turned towards me. “I don’t want you to hate me for saying this, but I need to say it. What happened wasn’t your fault. Yes, you lied, and yes, you were a dumbass, but you were 18. You made a mistake. You did what you thought you had to do. You were in school, Katie. Your life was just starting. I know it hurts like hell and I can’t imagine what pain you’re going through, but you can’t keep beating yourself up. You need to move on. Please, for the sake of your sanity, you need to move on.”

“I know.” I smiled at her gently. I knew how hard it was for her to talk to me like this. She’d been with me after the breakup and she was the only one who knew everything I’d gone through, everything I’d lost when the relationship had ended.

“I hope Matt doesn’t cry when you dump him.” Meg made a face to lighten the mood.

“That would be bad.” I laughed. “But I think he’ll be fine.”

“And you’re handing in your resignation tomorrow as well?”

“Yeah.” I nodded my head assertively. “I need to move on, but I also need to be professional about it. I can’t just sit in my room and pretend that life isn’t still going on, just because I’m depressed.”

“I’m proud of you.”

“I couldn’t do this without you.” I squeezed her hands gratefully. “I’m so upset that we have to rely on your savings.

“Don’t even think about it.” She shook her head. “That’s what best friends are for. I’ll make more money. I’ll be able to go on a trip another time.”

“I love you, Meg.”

“I love you too, Katie.” She gave me a quick hug. “Now go break up with Matt gently while I go and try to get a job.”

“Good luck.” I grinned at her. “You’ll be a shoo-in for the bartender job.”

“Let’s hope so.” She groaned. “At this point, we just need money.”

“You got this.”

“Thanks, luv, see you later.”

“Bye.” I watched her hurrying down the street and said a quick prayer for her. She was hoping to get this part-time bartender job that had been advertised in the laundromat. The pay was great, and no experience was needed. If she got it, it would definitely help us as we both looked for new jobs. I took a deep breath and ran down to catch the train. This was it. My old life was about to end, and my new one was ready to begin.

***

I didn’t have the heart to break up with Matt over dinner. It just seemed too cruel to congratulate him on his promotion and then dump him in the next breath. I decided to do it in his apartment, and then I’d come clean about everything. I wanted him to know what I had done and why, so he could understand that he had done nothing wrong. The reason I was ending things wasn’t because I no longer liked him. It was because I was still in love with someone else.

We walked into his apartment and I watched as Matt hurried into the kitchen to get a bottle of wine. He seemed like he was excited, and I had a bad feeling that he thought that tonight was going to be the night that we consummated our relationship.

He brought back two glasses of red wine and I took mine eagerly. I was going to need liquid courage to get me through the night.

“What movie do you want to watch?” He shifted closer to me on the couch and I tried not to recoil.

“Actually, I was hoping we could talk.” I took a deep breath and he frowned at me.

“Sure, but what do you want to talk about?”

“It’s over, Matt. I can’t go out with you anymore,” I blurted out, and I was surprised that his face remained the same. Even the expression in his eyes didn’t look shocked or upset.

“I see.” He nodded and sipped some more wine. “Why is that?”

I took a deep breath and let it out. “About seven years ago, I dated a guy. A successful businessman. I loved him, but things went wrong. I waited for him to come back to me and he never did. I tried to forget him, but I couldn’t.” I chewed on my lower lip as I continued on with my story. “About a year ago, I decided that I was going to try to see him again. Maybe get close to him, see if any of the old feelings were there. I wanted to see if we could give the relationship another go.”

“Okay.”

“I didn’t want it to be a one-off encounter.” I sighed. “I wanted us to be around each other. I wanted to see if perhaps we could make it work. So I started trying researching him. I found a lot of articles about him. Business stuff, you know. And I realized that the best way for me to get back into his life would be if I went to work for him. But I knew that he liked to flip companies. I knew I had to get in with a company before he did, so it wouldn’t look suspicious. So I needed to get a contact, someone who knew a lot about business.”

“And that’s where I came in?” Matt raised an eyebrow and I nodded.