“You know friends don’t kiss,” I reminded him, and he grinned back at me.

“Fuck that. I kiss Kier all the time.” I laughed that this would be his answer every time we blurred the line of friendship.

“Shit, baby. It’s freezing in here. Get back into bed.”

“Umm,” I protested. “I don’t want to let you leave yet.”

“I’ll get in with you for a bit.”

Appeased, I turned to look at the front door.

“Can you lock it up for me? I won’t relax until it’s locked.”

“Nobody’s gonna get to you while I’m here.”

I gave him a sad smile of agreement, but my heart wasn’t in it. I knew rationally that he was right, but phobias were deeply ingrained and not easily dispelled. What it Frank found me with O’Connell and attacked him when his guard was down? A thousand ‘what ifs’ ran through my mind and must have shown on my face.

“Okay, sunshine. You get back into bed, and I’ll sort out the door.”

He didn’t realise how much of a big deal it already was for me to let O’Connell check the door rather than doing it myself, but I’d never willingly let him know how deep my fears ran. The sheets were still warm as I slid between them. O’Connell shrugged off his jacket and clothes, leaving them draped over the chair in the corner. In only his jeans, he climbed into my small bed beside me. He didn’t give me time to worry about what would happen next.

“Turn on your side away from me, Em.”

Doing as he asked, his big hand pulled me back against him, spooning me in the cradle of his chest. My sweater had risen up slightly and he traced gentle circles over my stomach. I could feel his need for me hard against me, but it didn’t seem to bother him so I ignored it.

“How was training?” I whispered in the darkness.

“Brutal. Danny says he’s beating all the pussy out of me.” He chuckled. “I’m aching in muscles I didn’t know I had.”

I was fully aware of every one of his muscles, even if he wasn’t. I’d happily rub each one of them better given half the chance.

“Is there anything I can do?” I whispered innocently.

“You’re doing it,” he said, and I could feel him smiling against my hair. “If I got to feel like this every night, I’d happily take a beating or two.”

“You know that cuddles with me do come without the beatings, don’t you?” I asked him.

“I know, baby,” he mumbled, “but at least this way I feel like I’ve spent a bit of every day earning them.”

He paused, and I thought he’d fallen asleep.

“I heard what you did for Tommy. That was really nice of you.”

“I thought you’d be mad because Tommy’s been winding you up about my number.”

“I’m pissed that he got to try your chocolate cake before I did, but his ma will love it. It’s just another thing that makes you pretty fucking spectacular.”

“It wasn’t much, but if it makes you feel better, I’ll make you a chocolate cake when you win your next fight.”

“Oh, so there are conditions attached to my chocolate cake then?” He chuckled, sleepily.

“I’m doing my best to keep you in peak physical condition. When we’re old and grey, I’ll feed you chocolate cake every day.”

I felt him swallow as he whispered throatily, “I’d like that, sunshine. I’d really like that.”

We lay quietly for a while as I rubbed patterns back and forth over the back of his hand.

“Em, it’s Mac’s birthday this week, and he wants to go to a club Friday night. Will you come after work?”

I hated clubs of any sort. In our own little bubble, I could pretend the outside world didn’t exist. But being in a club surrounded by half-naked, gorgeous girls who all wanted O’Connell and who would be staring, like he was crazy for dropping his standards so low, seemed like my idea of hell. To me, it would be like standing a daisy in a bouquet of beautiful roses. Who in their right mind would ever pick a daisy over a rose?

“I thought Danny banned all that.”

“I’m not drinking, and I’ll only stay for a couple of hours, but Mac’s my friend so I’ll have to show my face. Honestly, though, I don’t get to spend much time with you, and I’d really like for you to be there.”

How could I say no to that? He absolutely killed me.

“Okay, O’Connell, but when I’ve had enough I’m leaving,” I replied, warily.

“Fair enough, baby.”

He was so tired that I could sense him falling asleep as he mumbled his answer.

“Sleep now,” I whispered, squeezing his bicep. He kissed the back of my head, and all too soon, the gentle rise and fall of his chest and the wonderful warmth of his body next to mine lulled me back into a deep and dreamless sleep. When I woke in the morning, the bed was cold, and O’Connell was gone. A wave of depression washed over me as I realised I was alone. Turning to the clock, I could see that it was barely 7am. But stood next to it was another note.

Ten seconds ago, I was depressed, and now I was on top of the world. I wondered why I ever bothered telling O’Connell that I only wanted to be friends, when every day it seemed to be me who wanted more. I rolled over to look at the ceiling, knowing that I was starting to forget all the reasons why we shouldn’t be together.

O’CONNELL HAD ABSOLUTELY no intention of letting me dictate the pace of our relationship. Every night that I wasn’t at the gym, he’d stop by my apartment after training to say goodnight. The training schedule that Danny had him on was brutal, and by the time he reached my door, he was dead on his feet. He didn’t stay long before he ambled back to Kieran’s to stockpile the calories and squeeze in as much sleep as he could, but those twenty minutes were the best part of my day. He didn’t kiss me again, but every time he touched me or looked at me, it was like he was savouring the moment to remember it later. Although he only grunted when I asked him how training was going, he devoured details about my day as though he’d missed me for every minute of it. With O’Connell training so much, I still had time to work and study and the joy of finding his notes in random textbooks was priceless. How he slipped them in without me noticing was a mystery, but I saved each and every one. His strategy was foolproof when I thought about it. Left to my own devices this week, I would have been filled by now with self-doubt and would have undeniably convinced myself that any attempt at a relationship with him was a car crash waiting to happen. Instead, he’d sown the seed of hope between us and had spent every day since watering and nourishing it, so by the time Friday rolled around, I was beginning to think we might have a chance.