“I’m just messing with you. You have to loosen up if we’re gonna be friends.”

“Um, I don’t really do friends, either,” I replied quietly, as I glanced back up at him.

“Well, you do now,” he answered, as though my opinion on the subject was completely irrelevant.

“Don’t look so worried,” he reassured me, “I’m a fierce friend to have in your corner.” He turned toward the gym to grab his bag, and I saw my chance. Bolting past him, I all but ran back to my apartment. Closing the door behind me, I chucked my keys on the table and collapsed onto my bed, throwing my arm over my eyes. I’d had more human interaction in the last couple of days than I’d had in the last six months, and my head hurt. Meeting new people, and talking without fear of reprisal, was hard. I wasn’t a natural conversationalist, and any confidence I might have once had, was gone. As hard as today had been, though, and as much of a fool as I’d made of myself, I’d loved the work. It was pretty much a dream job while I was studying. Once the door to Danny’s office had closed, I’d lost myself in numbers and everything outside of that office ceased to exist. The scariest part was those five minutes with O’Connell. I’d been attracted to boys like Noah when I was younger, but once the abuse started, I was sure that part of me had died. Five minutes with the full force of O’Connell’s charm was all it took to realise that I was wrong. Everything about him, from his heart-stopping gorgeous smile, to a body that I could spend days memorising with my fingertips, screamed sex. The man was the whole package. But I couldn’t become the sort of girl O’Connell was used to in a week, and I was pretty sure that’s how long it would take for him to realise that I wasn’t worth the effort.

I SQUEEZED MY EYES SHUT TIGHT and pretended that he’d knocked me out cold. The pain in my side was agonising, so breathing in and out to make it seem like I was unconscious was excruciating. It felt like he’d broken a rib. I had no idea whether he usually stopped beating me when I passed out, but I was guessing so. Where was the fun without the fear? As always, Mum was my Achilles’ heel. As soon as I came home from school and saw him whaling on her, I intervened. Not that I thought I’d stop him, just deflect the punishment and hope that he didn’t kill us both. She’d never done the same for me, she’d always run and hid when it was my turn, but I had hope. I could feel the sick fuck standing over me, assessing his handiwork. Frank wasn’t the type of guy to beg for forgiveness and plead remorse after a beating. The arsehole took pride in his work. I felt his big sweaty hand squeeze my breast roughly, and I fought my gag reflex to keep pretending. It wouldn’t be long now before the beatings turned to rape. As my body matured, I could sense the change in him. When his tongue licked the path of blood along my cheek, I opened my eyes and sat up with a start.

My cracked ribs, like all my other injuries, had long since healed, but breathing wasn’t so easy anymore. I ran a glass of water to calm myself down and reached for my candle. I’d have to get another one soon because the dreams were becoming much more frequent lately. It was like he could sense that I was beginning to live again, and he was letting me know he still had dominion over me. As long as the sick fuck was still in my head, I’d never really be free.

“HEY, EM. ARE YOU STILL rocking the hermit thing or can I park my arse here?”

Nikki, with her weight rested on one hip, held out her food tray and waited for my reply.

“Feel free.” I smiled back. As she sat down and started unloading more food than most rugby players could eat in one sitting, I couldn’t help but ask her about it.

“How come you can eat all that and stay so tiny?” She grinned back at me.

“God has blessed me with a fast metabolism. I can eat pretty much whatever I want without gaining weight. Plus, I have low blood sugar, so if I go more than a few hours without food, I get Incredible Hulk cranky.”

“Hello, baby. I see you saved a seat for me.” A big burly bear of a man dumped his tray down next to Nikki’s and landed a kiss on her head as he reached over to pinch her apple.

“What gave you the impression that I saved a seat for you, arsehat? And are you so hard up for money that you have to come and steal my food?” she retorted, sarcastically.

“Ah,” he teased, “don’t be so mean. You’ll have people thinking you don’t love me anymore.”

I guessed this was banter that they’d shared before, and it was kind of amusing to watch. Nikki seemed to decide that arguing was futile, and with a roll of her eyes, she relinquished her fruit. A couple more trays landed on our table with a clatter that made me jump, and two more bears joined the company of the first. I ate almost all of my meals in solitude. It was strange that today my table had become a Mecca for the rugby team.

“Hi. I’m Albie,” the bear opposite offered with a smile. Its genuine warmth caused me to blush immediately. My inability to control my blushes in any number of situations was as humiliating as it was annoying.

“Um, Emily. Nice to meet you.”

“Sorry, Em, I’m a shit friend. Em, this idiot is Ryan, and his much nicer friends are Albie and Ben.”

The apple thief seemed affronted by the introduction, though Ben and Albie were highly amused. I would like to have known the history between Nikki and Ryan, but we didn’t know each other nearly well enough for me to ask. They started bickering about the introduction when Albie leaned over and whispered to me conspiratorially.

“Ryan knew Nikki back when they were kids. He was always a player, and now she won’t give him a chance.”

“Are you sure she just doesn’t like him that way?” I whispered back.

“Nah,” he retorted, “just look at the two of them. They’re totally into each other. She’s just afraid he’ll play her. He doesn’t have the best history of following up a first date with a second.”

I looked more closely and frowned. They did seem to have chemistry. But with my limited experience, really, what did I know?

“So, how do you know Nikki?” he asked.

“We have applied maths together,” I replied quietly. No matter how much of a gentle giant Albie seemed, I still wasn’t all that comfortable with the art of conversation.

“Wow, that’s a serious course. I’m impressed. I’m studying history,” he offered, and I gathered that he was pleased with his own choice.