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His wet kisses move to my throat, and I shamelessly rock my hips against his hand, needing more. Reading my body, he pushes one finger inside me and lets out a groan of his own when he penetrates me. He knows my body better than I do and he gives me what I need before I even have to ask. A girl could get used to this kind of treatment.
I’m about to come undone, and Jase is taking me there. I lock my knees, my hands scrambling for something to hold onto just as I’m almost there. Suddenly Jase removes his hand and plants a chaste kiss on my lips. Is he stopping?
“Jase, don’t stop. I think I can come…”
He looks at me with a devilish smirk. “Oh, I know you can, baby. But the guys can hear you, and I have a feeling you’re going to be even louder when I make you come. Let’s go to my room.”
Crap! They were listening? I realize the party that was in full swing when we started this has gone eerily quiet.
He slides my panties and jeans into place, zipping and buttoning them for me, while I stand there uselessly, trying and failing to calm my frantic heart.
“When we go out there, just ignore them. Okay?” He drops another kiss on my mouth and I merely nod.
I’m not sure how long we were tucked away in the bathroom – at least twenty minutes, I think. Jase takes my hand and exits first. The hallway is clear, but when we pass by the living room cheers erupt – applause, whistling, hoots and hollers. My cheeks flame like never before. God, this is embarrassing. I tuck my chin to my chest, not daring to meet their eyes, and follow Jase to the staircase. We jog up all three flights to the attic and are breathless once we reach his room.
Turning on the soft lamp on his dresser, Jase shuts and locks the door, then turns to face me. I’m sure my cheeks are still flushed, but he doesn’t seem to mind my awkwardness. He stalks toward me like a predator casing its prey, grasping my hips to guide me backwards to his bed.
The things he did to my body, the responses he elicited, I know it’s no use pretending I don’t want this. Every fear has been silenced; every thought is tangled up with Jase. In this moment, I feel like I could let my past slip away, like I could start fresh with Jase and forget all about Brent and the mistake that shall not be named. This could be my last chance. Stacia could be learning about my past right now.
“Just give me one chance to show you how good we could be together,” he whispers.
The seductive tone of his deep voice and the promise of more breaks all my self-preservation. “Yes.”
Jase doesn’t hesitate, and gives my shoulders a playful shove, so I fall back onto his bed, sitting on the edge. Jase lifts my shirt over my head, and with a quick flick of his wrist, my bra drops open too. I let it fall down my arms and toss it to the floor.
Jase’s intense gaze is locked on mine. His lips are parted and slightly swollen from kissing. “God, you’re beautiful.” He drags his knuckles softly across my throat, tracing my collarbone. As if trying to read what I’m ready for, or more importantly what I’m not ready for, Jase remains fully-clothed, but helps me remove my jeans. We lie together on his bed, legs tangled together, as close as two bodies can be. I can feel each pounding heartbeat, each breath against my neck. Needing some sort of coverage, I insist my panties stay on, but Jase works around them. He begins exploring my body again, lightly rubbing my arms, trailing kisses down my chest and stomach, and when he settles between my legs and glances up to gauge my reaction, I merely watch him and wait to see what will happen next. There is no willpower in me to stop him.
He pushes my panties to the side and plants an open-mouth kiss there. Holy Toledo, the sensation is like nothing else. Jase’s warm, wet mouth sends my hips shooting off of the mattress. His tongue slides against me again, and I come undone, bunching the comforter in my fists and calling out his name. The pressure intensifies and then waves of pleasure crash through me. The feeling is more than I ever expected. I will need to do that again. Often.
Jase holds me after, and continues lightly stroking his fingertips down the length of my bare arms as aftershocks make my muscles tremble. My emotions tangle inside me. I feel pure bliss in this moment, happy and safe with him. Then I’m struck by a wave of guilt, because as nice as all this, I know it’s been built on a lie.
A few seconds later, Jase returns to kissing me, his hips pressing insistently into mine. His entire body is hard and ready. I run a hand through his hair, like I’ve wanted to do since the first night I saw him. Dropping one more light kiss against my mouth, Jase leans back just slightly to watch me. My breathing is finally returning to normal, though my heart is still pounding.
“That feel good, babe?” he asks.
“Amazing. Thank you.”
His smile grows. He’s clearly proud of himself over my loud and very unladylike orgasm. “Anytime.”
“I’m sorry I can’t…return the favor.”
“It’s okay,” his voice is thick. “That’s not why I did it. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”
“It’s not that…it’s just, I’ll gag.”
“Hmm.” He stokes my cheek. “We’ll work up to it.”
“Is it really that important?”
“It’s kind of my favorite.” His lips curve in a soft smile.
Oh brother…
Chapter 18
Jase
I offer Avery one of my T-shirts, and she quietly slips it on over her head, then curls against my pillow in an unspoken agreement that she’s staying the night. Seeing her lying in my bed, swallowed up in my shirt is the best sight ever. Knowing she’s sleeping in my arms tonight, that she’s sharing parts of herself with me despite her fears, does heady things to my protective instincts. I still wish I knew what was going on inside that pretty head of hers, but I know we’ll get there. Tonight was a big step forward. And I won’t soon forget the way she tastes, the sultry sound of her raspy gasps calling my name. Fuck, that was hot.
I turn off the light and join her in the bed, spooning up against her back so I can fold her into my arms. Her hair smells like strawberries and I lean in to kiss the back of her neck. “Just rest. Everything’s going to be okay,” I mumble against her skin.
She lets out a soft sigh and relaxes against me.
I don’t know what set her off tonight, but I’m happy that she came to me for comfort. I’ll never forget the feeling of panic when I heard that whistle cut through the party. I didn’t even realize she carried it with her; I’d sort of gotten it as a joke. But part of me loved knowing she kept it with her, and used it to call me when she needed me.
In the morning, we sleep late, and grab coffee and muffins on campus before I drive her to her dorm. I wouldn’t mind spending the day with her just lounging in my bed, but she says she has homework, so I reluctantly let her go.
At the curb outside her building, I hold her tightly to my chest and kiss her.
“Thanks for everything last night,” she says, blinking up at me.
“Anytime.” I kiss her once more and let her go. “Better go write that journaling assignment on orgasms now…” I grin.
She takes a step away and stumbles on the sidewalk, but I catch her elbow before she goes down. Heat blossoms in her cheeks and she shoots me a glare.
“Call me later, babe.”
She nods once, then flees into her dorm.
Chapter 19
Jase
I clean my room twice, even maneuvering the clunky vacuum up three flights of stairs, because I can’t remember the last time I actually used it, which means I’m probably due.
By the time I’m done, there are vacuum lines on the rug beside my bed, and the room smells like citrus furniture polish.
I can’t ever remember feeling this way about a girl before – it’s kind of intense. Avery and I are opposites in every way, yet still I love being around her. But maybe that’s why we work well together – I’m outgoing and she’s closed off; I’ve lived and taken chances where she’s been guarded; I pull her out of her shell and she keeps me sane. She gets my sense of humor; she hit it off with my mom, and last night… Fuck. Last night is in a category all its own. Watching her come undone like that. Shit, that was hot. Tasting her, hearing her breathy moans, I’m half hard just thinking about it. Avery arouses so many emotions in me. I want to protect her, make her smile, and take care of her every need.
It’s a far cry from how I ever was with Stacia. I hate to say it, but I put myself before her needs pretty much every time. With Avery, putting her first is what I want. It’s weird.
I finish cleaning my room, lug the vacuum cleaner back downstairs and stash it in a closet that contains a half-inflated blow up doll and a collection of sports equipment. Then I jump in the shower. I want to be fresh for Avery. I even shave and take a little time on manscaping, making sure things are presentable in case she wants to venture south. It’s probably hopeful thinking on my part. But I want it to be her idea to go there. And I pray that she does, because as awesome as last night was, it was fucking hard. Literally. I barely constrained the urge to go jerk off while she was getting ready for bed. But I won’t pressure her. Clearly this is all new for her, and even though I don’t know much about her past yet, I know her jackass ex-boyfriend did something to make her cautious.
When Avery arrives I’ve just come back upstairs with popcorn and two cans of soda.
“Hey.” She smiles at me from the doorway, watching me inside my room.
“Hey.” I set down the snacks and turn to face her. She makes a pair of jeans and a gray T-shirt look sexy. And her hair is just the way I like it – tumbling loose around her shoulders. “Come here.”
I open my arms and Avery crosses the room, letting herself be pulled in against me. She rests her head against my chest and sighs contentedly. I wonder if I didn’t initiate the physical contact between us if she would, but I doubt it. My girl is as timid as they come. I hate whoever made her this way. I want her to tell me, to open up, but I trust that she will in time.
“You get to choose the movie,” I tell her, taking a step back to release her.
She nods and peruses the collection of DVDs I’ve rounded up from the guys in the house. Most are comedies with dirty humor or horror flicks, but she doesn’t complain. She selects a paranormal thriller and hands it to me.
“Are you sure?”
She nods. “I love scary movies.”
“Really?” I’m not sure why, but this surprises me. Maybe because she’s so sweet and innocent. Either way, I love that she’s into it. I’ve wanted to see this movie for a while. “Well, if you get too scared and need to sleep over, you’re welcome to.” Smooth, Jase.
She grins crookedly. “Like a slumber party?”
“Ah no, not like a slumber party. Like me and you in my bed spooning and hopefully kissing.”
Her cheeks blush pink and she tips her head down. I can’t resist tipping her chin up with two fingers. I press a soft kiss to her mouth and then look at her to gauge her reaction. “Are you okay with what happened last night? I mean…you liked it, right?”
“I thought that was obvious, yes.”
I dare a step closer. “So maybe this whole tutoring thing can be extended a bit…”
Avery bites her bottom lip. “Extended how?”
“Hmm…” I place a hand on her waist, drawing her closer. “Let me show you.”
* * *
Thirty minutes later, the movie plays on my laptop, all but forgotten, and Avery is lying in my arms, resting her head in my favorite spot – in the center of my chest. Trailing my fingers lightly across her arms, I never want her to move from this spot. She fits perfectly tucked against me and her hair smells so good.
All too soon, Avery lifts her head to look up at me with sad eyes I wish were happy.
“Everything okay?” I ask. “Movie’s not too scary for you, is it?”
It’s more a psychological thriller than blood-and-gore, but she looks like something’s bothering her. I get the sense there’s something more on her mind than movies and cuddling. There’s a little crease in between her eyebrows and she drags her teeth across her bottom lip.
“It’s…never mind.” She drops her head to my chest, nestling herself in once again.
I’m torn on whether or not to let it go, but there’s a nagging feeling inside me. I roll us over on the bed so I’m hovering over top of her. Her eyes widen in surprise as our aligned bodies command her attention. I smooth her hair back from her face, tucking it behind her ears. “Hey, you know you can talk to me, right?”
She nods. “I’m not ready yet. I don’t want things to end between us.”
My thumb lingers on her cheek. I want to tell her she’s wrong, that she’s safe and this isn’t going to end, but something gives me pause and instead I nod. “Okay.”
I lean in and kiss her, soft at first, but after a few moments our kisses turn deeper and her legs wind themselves around my back, and I’m reminded of how long it’s been since I was with anyone. Not good. I force a deep breath into my lungs and let it out slowly, focusing on slowing our pace, even as Avery’s tongue flirts relentlessly with mine. A small frustrated groan escapes her throat as she tightens her legs around my waist, forcing her pelvis to rub against mine. I give in and grind back against her, my body reacting to the friction. Shiiit. She feels too good.
Several minutes later I break away, breathless with desire and her sleepy eyes meet mine at the sudden halt in action. “Avery…if you’re not sure about going further, I’m going to need to stop.” I wish I could phrase it a more graceful way, but fuck, she’s gonna make me come.
I can tell she’s conflicted – her body wants this, but her head isn’t so sure. “Hey, it’s okay. I just…haven’t been with anyone in a while and a certain part of my body likes you rubbing against up against him.”