We’ve started to fog up the windows as I start to unbutton his shirt, but he catches my hand in his. ‘Callie, wait. We don’t have to do this,’ he pants against my lips, sounding as if stopping is the last thing he wants to do. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you with the adorable comment.’
‘You didn’t upset me. I promise.’ And it’s the truth. Right now, my mind is moving a million miles an hour, my body totally running on some sort of adrenaline high and I want to keep going, keep doing new things with Kayden, make every moment count, just like I’m always saying.
Before he can work up another protest, I slip my hand from his hold and flick another button loose on his shirt. I continue my way down it until I’ve got them all undone, then he slips the plaid shirt off and chucks it on the backseat. I’m about to reach for the hem of the T-shirt he’s wearing to take that off, too, when he leans toward the passenger side and turns the key so the battery clicks on and heat blasts from the vents.
‘Trust me. You don’t want it being freezing in here. It might do weird things to my man parts,’ he jokes and then peels his T-shirt off while I giggle at his comment. He’s laughing as he reaches for the zipper of the jacket I have on and yanks it down. After he gets it off, he tugs the straps of my dress down enough that my bra is exposed. Then he jerks down the front of that, too, so my br**sts hit the air.
Before I can even react to the somewhat still chilly air, his mouth is on me, sucking and nipping and driving my body mad. It’s amazing how, even after a year, he still makes me feel the same overwhelming excitement and vulnerability I felt the first time we were together. It never gets old, whether we’re in his bed or in the crammed seat of a car.
My head tips back as he continues to devour me with his mouth, moving back and forth between my br**sts, only stopping when I’m on the verge of passing out from lack of oxygen. Then he undoes the button of his jeans and before I can even ask what he’s doing, he reaches up the bottom of my dress. I decide to help him out and lift my h*ps up, snorting a laugh when I bump my head on the roof. But all humor fades when he slides the edge of my panties aside and thrusts himself inside me.
It’s either the angle of my h*ps or the way my legs are bent, but he sinks in deep and I swear to God every one of my nerve endings explode as I gasp, clutching onto the back of the seat. It’s intense. No, beyond intense, to the point where I don’t think I can breathe.
‘Jesus,’ Kayden utters in a hoarse whisper as he grips at my waist from underneath my dress. ‘This feels …’
‘Amazing,’ I finish for him, then start rocking my hips, unable to hold still a second longer.
We move rhythmically, completely in sync with each other, like we were made for each other, which, in my opinion, we are. There is no one else in the world that will make me feel the way Kayden does. I will never trust anyone more. Never want to be with anyone as much. He’s it for me and I just hope that it’s the same way for him. That he wants to move in with me like he said. Be with me, maybe forever.
Chapter 12
#150 Rewrite Beautiful Words in Your Own Beautiful Way.
Kayden
‘That was …’ I can barely breathe, let alone finish the sentence. Not after that. Sex in a car with Callie. How the hell did a really shitty night turn into something so amazing? I’d been so upset about all the stuff with my dad and how it was making me feel so ugly inside. Plus, I’d had a relapse. I felt like I was sinking toward the bottom of despair and now I feel like I’m on cloud nine running on f**king rainbows. But I don’t think it’s just the sex; it’s the memories that are doing it to me, too. Through all of the craziness and crappiness that’s happened, I’d somehow lost sight of all the good stuff that has happened and is still happening.
‘I must be good if I’m making you speechless.’ She tries to be playful, but even through the dark I can still tell that she’s blushing by the way she turns her head and lets strands of hair fall into her face.
‘You’re perfect.’ I taste her lips one more time before I help her put her bra back into place, then the straps of her dress. She shivers as my fingers brush her shoulders and it makes me smile that my touch still does this to her after almost a year. ‘You always are.’
She smiles as she hops back into the driver’s seat so I can put my shirt back on. ‘I feel like I’m high,’ she admits as she puts my jacket back on.
‘So you like being naughty,’ I tease as I button up my shirt.
Slipping her foot into her boot, she shrugs, but her lips threaten to turn upward. ‘Maybe.’
I want to tell her she’s adorable, but that’s kind of what started this whole thing to begin with. Okay, maybe I should call her it again. Hell, I need to start calling her it a lot more.
Before I can say anything else, though, she pushes open the door to get out. ‘Are you ready to visit the next place?’ she asks, wiggling her other foot into her boot before she swings her feet out onto the ground.
I nod, grabbing the can of spray paint from the center console before I hop out of the car with her. I take her hand as soon as we reach the path, unable to keep myself from touching her. That’s the thing with Callie – something as simple as her touch can warm the cold inside me. Her words are so much more powerful. They not only warm the cold, but melt it into a puddle.
It’s what her words did for me at the restaurant. It’s why I told her I want to move in with her. I think I always have, but wasn’t able to say it until that moment when I realized not only how much she meant to me, but how much I meant to her. I may fight it, may worry I’m not good enough for her, but in the end, I’m what she seems to want and she deserves to have what she wants, so I’m giving it to her – giving me to her the best I can.
‘We probably should have brought flashlights,’ Callie says as the path starts to wind into the hills, making the city lights below disappear and our surroundings shadow over.
I reach into my pocket to get my phone and swipe my finger across the screen so it lights up. ‘How about this?’ I hold it up and aim it down on the path.
‘You’re brilliant,’ she says then picks up the pace, pretty much skipping through the dark.
‘Careful.’ I grip onto her as she starts to slip on a patch of ice.
She keeps skipping and I end up shuffling after her until we reach the steep rock I once sat on with her before we even kissed. There’s a light layer of snow on some of the rocks and icy spots on the ground.
‘I’m not sure we should climb up that in the dark,’ I tell her, pulling her toward me until her back is pressed against my chest.
‘But we climbed them in the dark before with Seth and Luke,’ she says as I circle my arms around her waist.
‘I know, but I love you now and would die if anything happened to you.’ I kiss the sensitive spot behind her ear and she sighs.
‘All right, you win, but only because you made such a beautiful argument.’ She takes a seat on a small rock and faces the path we just walked up. ‘Remember how each time we came up here, you had to help me climb up the rocks?’
I nod and sit beside her, turning the timer on my screen on so it’s at the max – we have ten minutes of light. ‘I also remember how I had a naughty dream about you where I was helping you down the rocks.’ I set the phone down beside my feet and try to get comfortable even though the ground is freezing my ass.
Her head snaps in my direction. ‘What? When?’
‘The night we first came here.’
‘But you were still dating Daisy then?’
‘It didn’t mean I wasn’t attracted to you,’ I tell her. ‘Trust me, I was. Way, way attracted to you.’
She presses her lips together as if she wants to say something, but is fighting it.
‘What’s on your mind?’ I brush my finger across the inside of her wrist.
Her shoulders rise and fall as she heavy-heartedly shrugs. ‘You know, I never got how you were attracted to me when you were dating her. I mean, I know you love me now, but it never made sense why you’d break up with her then want to date me right after. I mean, I know she was a bitch, but she was … well, she was really, really pretty.’ A thousand protests run through my mind, but before I can say anything she adds, ‘I’m not saying that so you’ll compliment me. I know you love me now. I was just telling you how I felt in the past, since this is a night about the past.’
It takes me a moment to find my voice, but only because I’m still shocked about the first thing she said. ‘First of all, let’s get something straight. All looks aside, you are a thousand times a better person than Daisy will ever be. The girl was more than a bitch. She was evil and self-centered. She never asked about my scars, never tried to get to know me in the way you did, when I felt completely and utter vulnerable, but in a way I needed to be. You saved me, Callie, not only from my father, but from myself and a life full of misery and self-loathing. And yeah, I know I still have a ways to go, but you still help me even now.’
‘Good, I’m glad. I love helping—’
I cover her mouth with my hand, silencing her. ‘I’m not done yet.’ I position my hands so her face is trapped between them, wishing it wasn’t so dark so I could see my favorite part about her – her eyes. They’re a mirror to her emotions and I love being able to see what she’s feeling whenever I look into them. ‘And second of all, you’re a million times more beautiful than Daisy will ever be.’ She starts to protest, but I talk over her. ‘And not just because you’re beautiful on the inside, which I know you’re about ready to say, but because you are ridiculously beautiful in a way that almost seems unreal sometimes.’
‘Kayden, I appreciate you saying that, but I know I’m not,’ she says. ‘I know what I am, though, which is average, and I’m okay with that.’
‘You’ll never be average, Callie.’ I wish she’d get the full extent of what I’m trying to say. ‘Daisy was like plastic, all fake nails and tanner, bleached hair, and fancy clothes – nothing about her was real. You’ – I bring her lips closer to mine – ‘you’re real. Everything from your freckles, to those beautiful, gorgeous eyes of yours, to those f**king perfect lips. You’re unconventionally beautiful, the kind of beautiful people can’t even understand because it’s not generic and created – it just is.’
She’s quiet for what feels like an eternity, the soft sound of her breathing filling the silence between us. ‘You’re turning into quite the master of words,’ she says softly. ‘You just put this writer to shame.’
My lips tug upward, but I’m not ready to smile just yet. ‘But you get what I’m saying, right? You understand how beautiful you are inside and out?’
She nods and I feel her cheeks move as she smiles. ‘But only if you understand just how much I need you and how much I deserve you.’
It takes a lot for me to say it, but I know I have to – know it’s right for the moment. ‘All right, it’s a deal,’ I say then lean in to kiss her, taking my time, savoring the feel of her lips.
I pull away about eight minutes later when the screen clicks off and darkness surrounds us. Picking it up, I reset it for another ten minutes then take the spray can out of my pocket. ‘So, what are you planning on putting on the rock this time?’ I ask, giving the can to her.
‘Hmmm ….’ She taps her finger against her lip then hands the can back to me. ‘I think you should be the one to do it.’
‘No way. You’re the writer.’
She gets to her feet and brushes the dirt and little bit of snow off her ass. ‘Nope. I’m giving you the honors tonight, since you’ve been on a roll with beautiful words.’ When I don’t get up right away, she offers her hand to me. ‘Come on, Kayden. After what you just said to me, this should be a piece of cake.’
I thread my fingers through hers and get to my feet, giving the can a little shake. Then I stare at the rock. And stare at the rock. And stare. And stare. And stare.
‘It’s like when I look at my computer screen sometimes.’ She playfully pokes me in the side. ‘Only instead of a cursor doing the tormenting it’s a can of paint.’
I lift the can to write something, but the pressure is getting to me. My mind is blank until suddenly I get an idea as I remember the night we came up here the first time. Callie had painted her own quote on the wall … that amazing quote.
Smiling, I press the nozzle and move my hand across the rock. She grabs the phone and aims it so I can see better, and so she can read what I’m writing. When I’m done, I stand back beside her and she reads it aloud.
‘In the existence of our lives, there are many coincidences that bring people together, but there’s only one person that will own your heart forever,’ she reads aloud and I swear she almost cries near the end.
‘Someone really smart once wrote that, I think,’ I say as I put the lid back on.
‘She didn’t say that exactly.’ She turns to face me. ‘And I like your version a lot better.’
‘Good.’ I take her hand and hold onto to it for a thousand different reasons – to touch her, to feel comforted, to keep on standing, living, breathing. It’s crazy how the night went from shitty to one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time. It makes me realize how much I need her and how much I need to keep working on being the guy she deserves. ‘Because I mean it – all of it.’