Author: Tara Sue Me

“Look at me, Abigail.”

I jumped. Nathaniel was looking at me with those strangely intense green eyes. I couldn’t breathe.

“I didn’t like chastising you. But I have rules and when you break them I will chastise you. Swiftly and soundly.”

Of that, there was no doubt.

“And I don’t give gratuitous compliments,” he continued. “But you did well last night. Far better than I thought you would.”

Something inside me I thought dead flickered back to life. Not a lot. Not even a spark. Just a flicker. But to hear him say I’d done well…it was the highest praise I could hope to get from him.

He pushed back from the table. “Finish eating and meet me in the foyer in half an hour in your robe.”

I quickly tidied the kitchen and went to my room, hoping to lie down and rest, even if it was just for a few minutes. I was tired and, despite the ibuprofen, still feeling very sore. Instead, I put on my robe and went to meet Nathaniel, who was waiting for me in the foyer in his own robe—not quite what I’d expected. I had no idea what he was planning.

“Follow me,” he said, turning and walking through a door I’d never used.

We made our way through a masculine living room. There was a large television above a massive fireplace. Leather couches provided ample sitting room and a tall, wide window overlooked an expansive patio.

He opened the French doors leading to the patio and waited for me to go outside.

Outside? In this weather? In a bathrobe?

But, again. Snowball’s chance and all. I stepped outside and waited.

He led me to a bubbling hot tub that sat low in the ground, surrounded by steam and fluffy white towels. It looked like heaven.

He untied my robe and slipped it off. “Turn around.”

I turned, just a little embarrassed to have him look at my backside, although why, I wasn’t sure. He’d seen plenty of it the previous night.

“Good.” His hand skimmed over me lightly. “It won’t bruise.”

It wasn’t a question, so I didn’t say anything. But I was happy. And surprised. It certainly felt like it would bruise.

When he took my hand, I noticed he’d taken off his robe. He led me to the side of the tub and stepped in, still holding my hand.

“It’ll sting a bit,” he said. “But that should disappear soon.”

I gasped as I entered the hot water. It felt so good after the icy coldness of the winter air. And it did sting, but as I grew accustomed to the water, I felt the pain slip away.

“No pain today,” Nathaniel said, taking me in his arms and drawing me down to sit on him. “Just pleasure.”

The steam was heavier when I sat down on his lap, I couldn’t see him clearly. He was all fuzzy and buried in the fog. Like he was a dream. Like this was a dream.

His lips nibbled on my neck and his hands ran down my arms. “Touch me,” he whispered in my ear.

My hands ran down his chest. I hadn’t touched him like that before. It was new. His chest was rock-hard and perfect, like the rest of him. My hands went lower, stroked his stomach. He sucked in a breath when my hands went even lower. Then I brushed his c**k and he was hard. I took him in one hand.

“Two hands,” he whispered. I took the length of him with both hands and, because I knew he’d like it, squeezed him hard.

“You learn fast.” He slipped his arms to my waist and spun me to straddle him. Gentle, though, careful not to touch where he’d struck me last night.

The entire experience was a lesson in opposites. The frigid temperature of the air and the heat of the water. The pleasure Nathaniel brought to my body and the soreness that reminded me of the pain he inflicted last night. But mostly it was Nathaniel himself—the man who could be hard as nails and still touch me as light as a feather.

I breathed in the warm, enveloping steam as he worked me with his magical hands. I’d thought that maybe my feelings for him had cooled. Especially after the previous night. But being in his arms, being so close, and feeling what he could do to my body, the flicker grew to a spark and I knew I was dangerously close to igniting completely.

CHAPTER TWELVE

I looked over my shoulder to make sure no one was watching. No one. I went back to the computer in front of me.

Do it, Bad Abby encouraged.

But it’s wrong, Good Abby countered.

No one will know. Bad Abby was so bad.

You’ll know. Good Abby was a stick-in-the-mud.

My fingers were poised over the keyboard. Poised and ready. Nathaniel West. It’d take me seconds to type his name.

Nathaniel. The man was starting to fill my weekdays as well as my weekends. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Even after the horrible spanking. I should have wanted nothing to do with him. I should have taken the collar off and mailed it back to him.

Instead I was counting down the hours until Friday night. At six. Six o’clock this weekend. There had been no impersonal phone calls this week. No need for one.

I looked at my watch. Thirty-and-a-half hours left. I was such a dork. I bet none of his other submissives had counted down. Then again, we were talking about Nathaniel West. On second thought, I bet all his submissives counted down.

But back to the business at hand. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and typed his name as fast as I could.

Oh, yeah. Sure, Good Abby snorted. It doesn’t count if you don’t look.

The computer whirred as it pulled up the information I asked for. My heart pounded. I looked over my shoulder again. Then back to the screen.

And there it was. Jackpot.

Nathaniel West was a public library patron. Or at least he could be. He had a card. He just never used it. Interesting. When had he been issued a card? I counted backward. Six and a half years ago. Hmmm…I’d been working at the library six and a half years ago.

Wonder who issued him a card? I glanced around. So many people had come and gone in six and a half years. It could have been anyone. The only thing I knew was that it wasn’t me. If I clicked on the next link—

“Abby?”

“Ahhh!” I jumped ten feet in the air.

Elaina Welling was staring at me strangely when I came back down from the ceiling.

“Elaina!” I said, putting a hand over my pounding heart. “You scared the crap out of me.” She had a sly grin on her face and I wondered if she’d seen the screen. “Ready for the big game?” I asked.

Jackson and the Giants were in the play-offs the upcoming weekend in Philadelphia. He’d given Felicia tickets to the game. She had been beside herself all week. Hard to live with, truth be told. All Nathaniel had given me was a spanking.

Stop it. Here and now, remember?

I was sure Nathaniel would be going to the game, which meant we only had tomorrow night. Just one night…

“Getting ready, but I was hoping I could take you to lunch today,” Elaina said, dragging me away from thoughts of the next night.

“Oh.” I looked at my watch. “I don’t take lunch until noon.”

“That’s okay, I have a few things to take care of. How about Delphina’s at ten past?”

We agreed, and half an hour later I walked into the bistro Elaina had picked out.

She was waiting for me at a secluded corner booth. We both ordered iced tea, and when the waitress left, Elaina leaned across the table.

“I’m going to tell you a secret,” she said. “I know what you are. I know about Nathaniel.”

My jaw hit the table. Elaina knew. If Elaina knew then Todd knew and if Todd knew—

“You’re in shock. I should have said it differently. It’s just—” she stammered, “—I thought it’d be better to lay it all out. And I don’t care. You’re great. And I love Nathaniel. I’d love him no matter what.”

“Wait a minute,” I said, holding a hand up. “Does Nathaniel know? Does he know you know and does he know you’re taking me to lunch?” Because, damn it, she wouldn’t be the one with the sore ass.

She nodded. “He knows I’m taking you to lunch. He doesn’t know I know.”

I really didn’t want to keep secrets from Nathaniel. I sighed. Why did this have to be so complicated?

“Todd knows?” I asked instead.

“Yes. Linda doesn’t, though, but I’m not sure about Jackson.” She took a sip of tea. “Todd and I wouldn’t have known if Melanie hadn’t shown up at our house four months ago, crying her eyes out.”

Pearl Girl cried her eyes out to Elaina and Todd? Okay, this was too juicy not to hear.

“Melanie, his last submissive?” I asked.

She leaned across the table again. “Melanie was never his submissive.”

The waitress interrupted us. It took me three tries to get my order out. Melanie wasn’t his submissive? What the hell was she?

“I don’t guess you could call her a submissive,” Elaina continued once the waitress left. “I don’t know the proper terms for all this stuff. He never gave her a collar. Pissed her off something horrible.”

That didn’t make sense. “But Jackson called her Pearl Girl because she always wore pearls.”

“That was just Melanie. Maybe she was pretending to have a collar, I don’t know.” Elaina shook her head. “Not long after Nathaniel broke it off with her, she came to our apartment. She’s known Todd since grade school.”

I took a long sip of tea. This was too much information to process.

“Melanie grew up with them,” Elaina said. “She’s always had a crush on Nathaniel. He tried his best to ignore her, but she was persistent. She finally got him, but only for six months or so.”

I sat back and tried to decide if it was good or bad that he never collared her. What did that say about me?

“Did Nathaniel kiss her?” I asked.

“Kiss her? Yeah, sure he did.”

Damn. It was just me then. He didn’t want to kiss me.

“I thought back, after she left,” Elaina said, oblivious to my disappointment. “To the other girls. I remember Paige and Beth. They both wore collars, plain ones, though.” She waved at mine. “Nothing like yours. I’m sure there have been others. He just never introduced us.”

“Why are you telling me all this?”

“Because you deserve to know what you’ve done for him and he won’t tell you.”

I was totally confused.

“He gives you this great collar, almost immediately after you meet,” Elaina said. “He talks about you. He has a spring in his step I haven’t seen in forever and…I don’t know. He’s just changed.” She raised an eyebrow. “I hear you make mean French toast.”

He talked about me? Mentioned my cooking?

The waitress set our salads down.

“Abby,” Elaina said. “Listen to me. You have to handle Nathaniel carefully. His parents died in a car accident when he was ten.”

I nodded. I’d heard this before.

“He was in the car with them,” she said. “It was mangled up so badly, it took hours to cut them out.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I don’t think they died immediately. I don’t know. He won’t talk about it. Never has. But he changed after the accident. He was always so happy before they died, and so withdrawn and sad afterward.” She looked at me with hopeful eyes. “And now you’re changing him back. You’re bringing Nathaniel back.”

After that little bombshell, we talked about other things—Elaina’s work, my tutoring, Felicia and Jackson. The time passed quickly, and all too soon I had to leave to go back to work.

I climbed into a cab, thinking about what Elaina had said, that I was changing Nathaniel, bringing him back.

I wanted to believe her, but I couldn’t.

So he’d collared me quickly. That didn’t mean anything. And so what if he took me to his aunt’s nonprofit benefit. None of it mattered. He was who he was and our relationship was what it was. Nothing had changed.