“Why?” Delia asked. She walked up to the Bertmobile, her head cocked to the side. A second later, she took a step back, putting her hands on her hips. “Wait,” she said slowly. “Is this an—”

“Vehicle that makes a statement?” Bert said. “Yes. Yes it is.”

“—ambulance?” she finished, her voice incredulous. “It is, isn’t it?”

“No way,” Kristy said, laughing. “Bert, only you would think you could get action in a car where people have died.”

“Where did you get this?” Delia said. “Is it even legal to drive?”

Wes, now standing by the front bumper, just shook his head in a don’t-even-ask kind of way. Now that I looked closer at the Bertmobile, I could in fact make out the faintest trace of an A and part of an M on the front grille.

“I bought it from that auto salvage lot by the airport,” Bert said. You would have thought it was a new-model Porsche by the way he was beaming at it. “The guy there got it from a town auction. Isn’t that the coolest?”

Delia looked at Wes. “What happened to Uncle Henry’s Cutlass?”

“I tried to stop him,” Wes told her. “But you know how he is. He insisted. And it is his money.”

“You can’t make a statement with a Cutlass!” Bert said.

“Bert,” Kristy said, “you can’t make a statement, period. I mean, what are you wearing? Didn’t I tell you not to dress like someone’s dad? God. Is that shirt polyester?”

Bert, hardly bothered by this or any of her other remarks, glanced down at his shirt, brushing a hand over the front pocket. “Poly-blend,” he said. “Ladies like a well-dressed man.”

Kristy just rolled her eyes, while Wes ran a hand over his face. Monica, from behind me, said, “Donneven.”

“It’s an ambulance,” Delia said flatly, as if saying it aloud might get her used to the idea.

“A former ambulance,” Bert corrected her. “It’s got history. It’s got personality. It’s got—”

“Final sale status,” Wes said. “He can’t take it back. When he drove it off the lot, that was it.”

Delia sighed, shaking her head.

“It’s what I wanted,” Bert said. It was quiet for a second: no one, it seemed, had an argument for this.

Finally Delia walked over and put her arms around Bert, pulling him close to her. “Well, happy birthday, little man,” she said, ruffling his hair. “I can’t believe you’re already sixteen. It makes me feel old.”

“You’re not old,” he said.

“Old enough to remember the day you were born,” she said, pulling back from him and brushing his hair out of his face. “Your mom was so happy. She said you were her wish come true.”

Bert looked down quickly, turning his keys in his fingers. Delia leaned close to him, then whispered something I couldn’t hear, and he nodded. When he looked up again, his face was flushed, and for a second, I saw something in his face I recognized, something familiar. But then he turned his head, and just like that, it was gone.

“Did you guys officially meet Macy?” Delia asked, nodding at me. “Macy, these are my nephews, Bert and Wes.”

“We met the other night,” I said.

“Bert sprung at her from behind some garbage cans,” Wes added.

“God, are you two still doing that?” Kristy said. “It’s so stupid.”

“I only did it because I’m down,” Bert said, shooting me an apologetic look. “By three!”

“All I’m saying,” Kristy said, pulling a nail file out of her purse, “is that the next person who leaps out at me from behind a door is getting a punch in the gut. I don’t care if you’re down or not.”

“Mmm-hmmm,” Monica agreed.

“I thought she was Wes,” Bert grumbled. “And I wouldn’t jump out from behind a door anyway. That’s basic. We’re way beyond that.”

“Are you?” Kristy asked, but Bert acted like he didn’t hear her. To me she said, “It’s this stupid gotcha thing, they’ve been doing it for weeks now. Leaping out at each other and us, scaring the hell out of everyone.”

“It’s a game of wits,” Bert said to me.

“Half-wits,” Kristy added.

“There’s nothing,” Bert said, reverently, “like a good gotcha.”

Delia, yawning, put a hand over her mouth, shaking her head. “Well, I hate to break this up, but I’m going home,” she announced. “Old pregnant ladies have to be in bed by midnight. It’s the rule.”

“Come on!” Bert said, sweeping his hand across the ambulance’s hood. “The night is young! The Bertmobile needs christening !”

“We’re going to ride around in an ambulance?” Kristy said.

“It’s got all the amenities!” Bert told her. “It’s just like a car. It’s better than a car!”

“Does it have a CD player?” she asked him.

“Actually—”

“No,” Wes told her. “But it does have a broken intercom system.”

“Oh, well, then,” she said, waving her hand. “I’m sold.”

Bert shot her a look, annoyed, but she smiled at him, squeezing his arm as she started over to the Bertmobile. Monica stood up and followed her, and they went around to the back, pulling open the rear doors.