"I'm not sure," there was the tiniest quiver in my voice.

Gently, I lifted her hand which was wrapped in white gauze, examining it carefully. Along with the ache that seared deep inside me, there was this new indication of what I was. A monster. A creature that should have no part in this angel's life.

Lightly caressing her hand I shivered at this sick souvenir that would always be on her wrist which made my dead heart shatter. The wires that connected her to all the monitors were just another vivid reminder on top of everything else at how fragile and breakable she was. Each passing second felt like borrowed time.

I sighed. "It was impossible... to stop," my voice was low, a whisper. But I did stop; I was able to keep her alive. "Impossible. But I did." My eyes met hers, a smile creeping up my face; a great rush of affection washing over me. "I must love you."

"Don't I taste as good as I smell?" She returned my smile.

The satisfaction...the gratifyingly warm blood in my mouth - it was beyond delicious. It coursed through my body, sweeter than life.

"Even better -- better than I'd imagined."

"I'm sorry," she apologized.

She was...sorry? Again, what was with the apologies? If it wasn't for my stupidity in the first place she wouldn't have even been in the situation to have her blood sucked by me, of all creatures. I looked up to the ceiling in exasperation before returning my gaze to her.

"Of all the things to apologize for."

"What should I apologize for?"

For a moment I was lost in desperate speculation, thoughts consuming my mind momentarily. Only one thing came to mind. "For very nearly taking yourself away from me forever."

If her life had ended that day...I shuddered...I too, would have died.

"I'm sorry," she apologized again.

"I know why you did it. It was still irrational, of course. You should have waited for me, you should have told me."

At this, I realized maybe she didn't trust me as much as I thought. She shouldn't trust me. Because of me, she was here in this hospital bed, for several days, fighting to regain consciousness.

"You wouldn't have let me go," she explained, like I should have known this.

"No," I replied in a stern tone. "I wouldn't."

She shuddered and then slightly winced. My eyes roamed over her to find the culprit of her obvious pain, my nerves being pulled tighter at her discomfort.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I pleaded

She ignored me, wanting more answers.

"What happened to James?"

James, I growled internally; the enemy being brought to the forefront of my mind.

"After I pulled him off you, Emmett and Jasper took care of him," I said with clenched teeth.

Bella needed me, I knew that, but regardless, jealousy still rippled through me at the thought that it wasn't me who got to pull him apart - it wasn't me who burned him.

Her eyebrow furrowed. "I didn't see Emmett and Jasper there."

"They had to leave the room... there was a lot of blood."

Everyone's actions that night caught me off guard; all of them behaving like there was not a single drop of blood spilled in the building. Luckily, we all have no need for oxygen.

"But you stayed," she stated with a deep fervor, her face smoothing.

"Yes, I stayed."

Obviously, I stayed. She needed me...she would have died. Preventing that was most important.

"And Alice, and Carlisle ..." she said in conjecture.

Of course they stayed, too. They consider her part of our family.

"They love you, too, you know."

"Did Alice see the tape?" She asked anxiously.

"Yes," I gritted my teeth. I remembered watching the tape through Alice's mind, the things he did to Bella - the way he taunted me on the video.

"She was always in the dark, that's why she didn't remember," Bella explained, distracting me.

I nodded. "I know. She understands now," I said darkly.

That was all James did; hurt people and their families, only leaving reminders of his presence.

Bella's hand came up to reach for my face, but the IV stopped her from moving far.

"Ugh." She winced.

My head came up from her pillow, concerned. "What is it?" I asked anxiously, the image of James still in my view - anger still coursing through me.

"Needles," she explained, looking up like she was going to be sick.

She took several deep breaths. Instantly, the anger left my body as humor replaced it. The absurdity of it all - she was beaten by a vampire, yet this...needle, of all things, makes her sick.

"Afraid of a needle," I muttered under my breath, shaking my head. "Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand..."

She rolled her eyes.

"Why are you here?" She asked.

Instantly, I felt a chill in my stomach. I just stared at her, surveying her face, confusion sweeping over me. Then, it hit me. Maybe she didn't want me here, which is understandable, but it still made my heart ache, my body shriveled in pain. My eyebrows pulled together as a frown replaced my previous amusement.

"Do you want me to leave?" An obvious grimace appearing on my face.

"No!" She protested as loudly as she could. "No, I meant, why does my mother think you're here? I need to have my story straight before she gets back."

"Oh," I breathed, once again, relief burst through me; understanding replacing confusion. She still wants me here! Happiness swelled inside me like a balloon. "I came to Phoenix to talk some sense into you, to convince you to come back to Forks." I fixed my face, like I was trying to convince her myself, proving this lie was convincing. "You agreed to see me, and you drove out to the hotel where I was staying with Carlisle and Alice -- of course I was here with parental supervision," I infused innocently, "but you tripped on the stairs on the way to my room and... well, you know the rest. You don't need to remember any details, though; you have a good excuse to be a little muddled about the finer points."

Looking into her eyes I could see her mental processes whirling around before she spoke.

"There are a few flaws with that story. Like no broken windows," she said matter-of-factly.

"Not really," I chuckled lightly under my breath. "Alice had a little bit too much fun fabricating evidence. It's all been taken care of very convincingly -- you could probably sue the hotel if you wanted to. You have nothing to worry about," I assured her, caressing her cheek with the lightest of touches, letting her warmth envelope me. "Your only job now is to heal," I ordered.