“Why did you do it?” he asked. “Why did you sleep with me? I made the rules very clear and you’re not that kind of woman.”

She sighed. “Slutty, you mean? I know. I’ve never done that before. I mean sex, sure. A couple of times. But meeting a guy and jumping into bed with him…not ever. I think it was the blood loss. My brain wasn’t working right.”

That earned her a smile, which, unfortunately, faded quickly. “You weren’t slutty. I still want to know why you did it.”

“Do I confuse you?” she asked, hoping that was it because confusing and intriguing weren’t all that different.

“A little. I know there’s more going on than I can see.”

Yeah!

He waited expectantly. She shifted, then folded her arms across her chest.

“It’s kind of embarrassing,” she said.

“I won’t laugh.”

She drew in a deep breath. He’d been honest about what he wanted and didn’t want, so maybe she should be honest about why she’d done it…

“You wanted me,” she said simply. “I liked you and trusted you. Being with you made me feel safe, but what pushed me over the edge was how much you wanted me.”

He frowned. “You’re available to any guy who’s interested?”

She laughed. “No. Well, probably not. I don’t know. Guys don’t want me.”

“You’ve said that before and it’s crap. Of course they do. Look in the mirror. You’re beautiful and funny. A little strange, but not psycho.”

Compliments? Compliments before he’d even had cookies? She wanted to bask in the moment, but he looked impatient.

“I’m the best friend,” she said. “I’m the one guys confide in, the one they tell their troubles to. I fix them and they go out and fall in love with someone else. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong, then a couple of years ago I was at a party. I heard a group of guys talking. They were pretty drunk and going on about which of the girls at the party they’d like to sleep with. When they got to me, they all said they liked me, thought I was sweet, but I wasn’t the kind of girl they wanted to…you know.”

That was the easy part. She looked out the window over the sink and steeled herself to tell the rest. “I’d gone out with one of the guys and we’d…been together. He’d kind of been my first. I thought we were in love, but then he broke up with me and never really said why. That night he said he’d slept with me because he’d owed me. He’d been doing me a favor.”

It still hurt. Not in the bone-crushing way it had at first, but enough to make her catch her breath.

“The second guy I was with said all the right things, but after the first time, he was never very interested in sex. He said it was me, that he’d never had any problems with other women.”

“It wasn’t you,” Kane said flatly.

“You don’t know that.”

“Willow, I’ve seen you na**d. I’ve touched you everywhere possible. I’ve kissed you and tasted you and watched you come apart in my arms. It wasn’t you.”

Her eyes widened. He was good. Better than good. She felt her battered ego heal a little.

“But those guys, the things they said…”

Kane shook his head. “You’re complicated. Guys, especially young guys, want things simple. You scare them off. Or you take care of them so much they think you’re their mother. But there’s nothing wrong with you.”

“But…”

He cut her off with a look. “Did I fake it?”

She smiled. “No. You were very clear about what you wanted.”

“What did I want?”

“Me?” The single word came out in a squeak.

“You. Now let it go. You’re fine.”

Just then the oven dinged. She put in the pan of cookies and set the timer.

If only he wanted her again, she thought. But he’d been clear about that, too. One night. She decided not to push her luck and instead changed the subject.

“How’s Todd?” she asked.

“Why do you want to know?”

“Just making conversation. Does he know I was here?”

“I told him.”

She laughed. “Was he scared?”

“No.”

“Couldn’t you have told him I was really scary?”

“No.”

“Typical. I think he’s safe. Julie and Ryan are so happy together, and he wasn’t able to break them up, so I’m losing energy about the whole telling him off thing.”

“Any plans to date him?” Kane asked.

“What?”

“I know about the million-dollar offer on the table.”

Ah, yes. It was more than a fortune, she thought. “My grandmother is an interesting woman. I don’t know why she made that ridiculous statement, but now we all have to deal with it. I’m not interested in marrying someone for money.”

“It’s a lot of money.”

“I believe in falling in love. That my soul mate is my destiny. Money doesn’t matter.”

He shook his head. “Money always matters.”

“That’s cynical and sad.”

“That’s realistic.”

“You’ve never been married, have you?”

“I don’t do relationships, remember?”

Which was more than sad, she thought. It was tragic. “You have to connect to someone.”

“Why?”

“It’s how people are. We are the sum of our experiences, our relationships. You can’t tell me you’re totally happy living on your own.”

“I am, but you won’t believe me.”

“Kane, be serious. Don’t you ever want more?”

He stunned her by walking toward her and crowding her back against the counter. He was close enough for her to feel the heat of his body. Close enough for her to see the various shades of brown and gold that made up the color of his eyes. Close enough for her to begin to melt with longing.

“This isn’t going to work,” he said in a low voice. “You can prance around all you want, but it’s not going to change anything.”

“Prance? I don’t prance.”

“You move, you sway, you glide, you intrigue. But I will not be tempted. This is over. We do not have nor will we ever have a relationship. It was a great night. Maybe the best night. If I were ever to reconsider my position, you’d be the one I’d do it for. But it’s not going to happen. I will not let you in.”

She opened her mouth, then closed it. He still wanted her. She could see the fire back in his eyes. Desire was there, but so was determination. She was thrilled and confused.

“Why not?” she asked. “What’s so scary about a relationship?”

“I don’t trust anyone,” he said flatly. “I learned early that everyone was in it for himself. The only person I can depend on is me.”

He was wrong—so wrong. But she didn’t know how to convince him otherwise.

“What happened to you?” Had his parents abused him? Had a friend died?

His dark gaze locked with hers and she had a feeling she wasn’t going to like what he had to say.

“I lived on the streets when I was a kid. Just me. I joined a gang to stay alive and they became my family. When I was sixteen, my girlfriend fell for a guy in a rival gang. She kept the relationship a secret. To prove her loyalty, she set me up. I was shot three times and left for dead by the only person I’d ever loved.”

“What do you mean dead?” Marina asked as she passed the basket of rolls.

Willow took one and offered the rest to Julie who shook her head. “Her boyfriend shot Kane and drove off. Someone called for an ambulance and somehow he survived.” Willow still couldn’t believe that had happened, but she’d seen those scars on his body.

The sisters had met for lunch near Julie’s office. It was one of those warm fall days that makes people in snow country think about moving to Los Angeles.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Marina told her. “That you can save him.”

“Don’t go there,” Julie added. “He’s not like the guys you usually rescue. He’s dangerous.”

Which made him even more appealing, Willow thought humorously. “He’s alone. I think he needs someone in his life.”

Marina looked at Julie then shook her head. “Let me guess. You’re volunteering. Willow, sometimes guys mean what they say. He’s not looking for any kind of relationship. You can’t change him.”

“But if he could just let himself risk it, he would be so much better off,” Willow said.

Julie touched her arm. “You know I love you and I’ll be there for you, no matter what, but why do you do this to yourself? You’re always setting yourself up.”

“It’s just who I am,” Willow said. “I want things to be different. I want a guy to love me and want to be with me forever. Maybe Kane’s that guy.”

“Maybe he’s going to trample all over your heart,” Julie said gently. “I hate to see you hurt again.”

“I know.”

Willow had possibly the worst luck in men. She fell for guys who weren’t attracted to her. She saved them, healed them and they moved on to someone else.

“This is different,” she said.

“Is it?” Julie asked. “How? No, wait. Don’t answer that. Have you ever considered that you get involved with men you can never have so you don’t have to risk falling in love? You say you want happily-ever-after, but you seem to go out of your way to make sure it never happens.”

Willow looked from her to Marina. “I don’t do that.”

Marina sighed. “I’d have to agree with Julie on this one. You avoid normal men. Men who want to get married and have kids.”

Willow opened her mouth, then closed it. She wanted to tell them both that they were wrong. She wasn’t like that—except maybe she was.

Suddenly she was seventeen again, standing in her bedroom, getting ready for a date. She was fussing with her hair when her father walked in. He wasn’t around much, so having him home was a big deal. She remembered putting down her brush and spinning in a circle.

“What do you think, Daddy? Am I pretty enough?”

Her father had looked at her for a long time. “You’ll never be as smart and pretty as your sisters, but I’m sure you’ll find someone to take care of you. Just don’t aim too high, kid.”

His words had cut through to her soul. She’d gone on the date, but she remembered nothing about the night. Her father’s words had burned themselves in her brain and left her gasping with pain.

She’d known that Marina and Julie were more beautiful and that she had to work harder in school to get lesser grades, but she’d never thought that mattered. Until that moment, she’d always believed she was special.

But if her own father didn’t think so, maybe she wasn’t. She’d never felt special again…until that night in Kane’s arms.

“Willow?” Marina leaned toward her. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” She took a deep breath as the truth settled in her brain. “You’re right. Both of you. I avoid regular guys because I’m afraid to take a chance on falling in love for real and being rejected. What was I thinking? I can’t fix Kane. He doesn’t want to have anything to do with me and I’m going to let him go. It’s the right thing to do.”

Julie bit her lower lip. “Are you all right? I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

“You didn’t. You’re looking out for me and that’s good.”

“I love you,” Julie said sincerely.

“Me, too,” Marina added.

Willow felt their affection and it eased the hurt inside. Whatever else happened, she could count on her sisters to be there for her. As for Kane…she was going to let him go. He didn’t want her around. The man couldn’t have been more clear in his meaning.

Maybe it was time to stop chasing after the moon and settle here on earth where she belonged. Find a normal guy. So what, exactly, did normal look like?

Five

Kane walked into his house and heard the kittens crying. Usually they were silent, contentedly sleeping or nursing or being groomed by their mother. He dropped his briefcase onto a kitchen chair and moved into the living room where he found the kittens in their box, but no mother cat.

He quickly searched the house and there was no sign of her. But the window he’d left open for fresh air had been pushed open wider and the screen lay on the ground below. The mother cat was gone.

He swore under his breath and looked at the mewing kittens in the box. Now what? Was the mother cat gone for good? Had she abandoned her family? He did not need this crap in his life, he thought as he grabbed the phone, then realized he didn’t have the number.

Three minutes later, he was dialing. His security programs meant, with his trusty computer and decent Internet access, he could find anyone anywhere.

“Hello?”

He frowned. The voice wasn’t familiar. “Willow?”

There was a sniff, followed by a shaky, “Yes.”

Something was wrong. He didn’t actually want to know what right now but knew it was polite to ask. Screw it, he thought a second later. “It’s Kane.”

She made a noise that sounded a lot like a sob. “What’s wrong?” she asked, her voice thick with what he had a bad feeling was tears. “You wouldn’t be calling if there wasn’t something wrong.”