Author: Jodi Ellen Malpas

The delayed reaction finally crashes down. ‘Fucking hell,’ I whisper to myself.

‘Watch your mouth.’ His soft voice rolls over me.

I fly around and find him stood behind me, watching quietly, his hands in his jean pockets, his face completely expressionless. My tongue is like lead in my mouth as I search my brain for something to say. What can I say? My head is invaded with a million memories of the last few weeks. All of the times I’ve brushed things off, ignored things or, more to the point, been distracted from things. Things he’s said, things other people have said – things I thought odd, but didn’t pursue because I was distracted by him. He’s been distracting me this whole time. He’s been going out of his way to keep all of this from me. What else is he keeping from me?

Kate appears in my peripheral vision. I don’t have to look at her to know she’s probably displaying a similar facial expression to me, but I can’t drag my eyes away from Jesse to be sure.

He flicks his gaze in Kate’s direction, smiling at her nervously.

Sam barges into the room. ‘Oh, fucking hell! I thought I told you to stay put!’ he shouts, fixing Kate with a furious glare. ‘Damn you, woman!’

‘I think we need to go.’ Kate says quietly, walking towards Sam and taking his hand to lead him out of the room.

‘Thank you.’ Jesse nods at them before returning his eyes to me. His shoulders are slightly raised, signaling his tenseness. He looks really worried. He should be.

I hear the hushed, angry whispers of Kate and Sam as they take the stairs, leaving us alone in the communal room.

The communal room. It all makes sense now. That crucifix downstairs is no wall art. The strange grid-like contraption in the suite was no antique. The women sauntering around the place like they live here are not business women. Well, they might be, but not while they’re here.

Oh God, help me.

I watch as Jesse teeth start a good work out on his bottom lip. My strained heartbeats are quickening by the second. This certainly explains the thoughtful moments he’s been drifting in and out of over the last few days. He must have known I would find out? Was he ever going to tell me?

He drops his eyes to the floor. ‘Ava, why didn’t you wait at home for me?’

My shock starts to simmer into anger as everything starts clicking into place. I’m so dense! ‘You wanted me to come.’ I remind him.

‘Not like this.’

‘I sent you a text. I told you I was on my way.’

He frowns. ‘Ava, I haven’t received a text from you.’

‘Where’s your phone?’

‘It’s in my office,’

I go to retrieve my mobile, but then his words from this morning seep back in to my brain. ‘Is this what you wanted to talk about?’ I ask. He didn’t want to talk about us at all. He wanted to talk about all this shit.

He lifts his eyes back up to mine, and there’s no mistaking the regret in them. ‘It was time you knew.’

My eyes widen. ‘No, it was time for me to know a long time ago, Jesse.’ I do a full three sixty turn, refreshing my eyes of where I am. It’s still all there, loud and proud – I’m not dreaming. ‘Fuck!’

‘Watch your mouth, Ava.’ he scorns me gently.

I swing back around to face him in shock. ‘Don’t you dare!’ I cry, slapping the heel of my hand against my forehead. ‘Fuck, fuck, fuck!’

‘Watch...’

‘Don’t!’ I pin him with a fierce glare. ‘Jesse, don’t you dare tell me to watch my mouth!’ I gesture around the room. ‘Look!’

‘I see it, Ava.’ His voice is soft and placating, but it’s not going to calm me down. I’m too stunned.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ Oh my God, he’s a glorified pimp.

‘I thought you would have grasped The Manors operations on our first meeting, Ava. When it became obvious that you hadn’t, it just got harder and harder to tell you.’

My head hurts. This is like a thousand piece jigsaw puzzle, each piece clicking into place, all so very slowly. I told him he had a lovely hotel. Oh, he must think I’m something else. He dropped enough hints with his specification and requirements, but because I was so distracted by him, I missed them all. He owns a sex club? This is fucking awful. And the sex? Oh God, the bloody sex. He really is sexpert extraordinaire, and it’s not because of previous relationships. He said himself that he didn’t have time for relationships. Now I know why.

‘I’m going to leave now, and you’re going to let me go.’ I say it with all the determination I feel. I really have been a play toy to him. I’m way past dense – I’m completely brainless.

He’s still frantically chewing his lip as I side step him, taking the stairs in a complete daze.

‘Ava, wait.’ he pleads, following me.

I’m swiftly reminded of the last time I was fleeing here. I should have kept running. I block out his voice, concentrating on getting myself to the entrance hall without breaking my leg in a fall. I pass the second floor bedrooms and mentally slap myself again.

‘Ava, baby, please.’

I reach the bottom of the stairs and fly around to face him. ‘Don’t even think about it!’ I shout at him. He recoils in shock. ‘You’ll let me leave.’

‘You’ve not even given me the chance to explain,’ His eyes are all wide and full of fear. It’s not an expression I’m use to from Jesse. ‘Please, let me explain.’

‘Explain what? I’ve seen everything I need to see.’ I shout. ‘No explanation required! It all speaks loud and clear for itself.’

He steps towards me with his hands out. ‘You weren’t supposed to find out like this.’

I’m suddenly aware of an audience watching our little altercation. Sam, Drew and Kate are all standing at the bar entrance looking uncomfortable…pitiful, even. John looks grave as he assesses Jesse, and Sarah looks as smug as can be. I know now that she must have picked up my message on Jesse’s phone. She opened the gates and she opened the door. She’s got her way. She can have him.

I don’t recognise the snide, cocky looking man stood next to her, but he’s looking at me with an unfriendly glare. I watch him turn his eyes on Jesse with a sneer. ‘What a fuck up you really are.’ he spits at Jesse’s back, his tone full of hatred. Who the hell is he?

I watch as John grabs him by the scruff of the neck, shaking him a little. ‘You’re no longer a member, mother fucker. I’ll be escorting you from the grounds.’

The cocky creature laughs a cold sinister laugh. ‘Be my guest. Looks like your tart has seen the light, Ward.’ he hisses. Jesse’s eyes turn black in a nanosecond.

‘Shut the fuck up.’ John growls.

‘Revoked membership,’ I whisper. ‘He got too excited.’

He directs his cold eyes back at me. ‘He takes what he wants and leaves a trail of shit behind him,’ he snarls, his words punching all the air from my lungs. I notice Jesse stiffen from head to toe. ‘He fucks them all and fucks them off.’

Turning my gaze back on Jesse, I find his eyes are still black, his frown line a burden on his forehead. ‘Why?’ I ask. I don’t know why I’m asking this. It’s not going to make a jot of difference. But I feel I deserve some sort of explanation. He fucks them all – once – and fucks them off.

‘Don’t listen to him, Ava.’ Jesse steps forward. I can see his jaw is tense to snapping point.

‘Ask him how my wife is.’ The nasty piece of work spits. ‘He did the same to her as he did to all the others. Husbands and conscience don’t get in his way.’

And that’s all it takes to tip Jesse over the edge. He turns and flies at the man like a bullet, taking him clean from John’s grasp and to the parquet floor on a loud crash. Sam yanks Kate back and there are a few gasps, as everyone watches Jesse kick ten tons of shit out of the man.

I’m not compelled to scream at him to stop, even though he looks like he could possibly kill him. I walk out of The Manor and get into my car. Kate flies down the steps, racing towards me. She jumps in but doesn’t say a word. When we reach the gates, they open without me stopping. I’m surprised – I was preparing to ram them down.

‘Sam,’ Kate says when I look at her. ‘He said we’re better off out of here.’

I hadn’t considered, until now, that all of this is news to Kate as well. She seems ever the laid back, take it in her stride, Kate.

I, however, feel like I’m freefalling into Hell.

Chapter 37

I walk through Kate’s front door and straight upstairs to the flat like a zombie.

Bless Kate. She makes no attempt to try and extract more information from me. Instead, she lets me fall onto the sofa in a tear stained heap and brings me a cup of tea.

My eyes widen when the front door slams. Kate runs out to the banister. ‘It’s just Sam.’ she reassures me as she comes back into the lounge.

‘He has a key?’ I ask. Kate shrugs it off, but this small snippet of news has me smiling to myself. Will she take it back in light of this new found knowledge?

My phone rings again and I reject the call…again.

Sam steams into the lounge, looking as nervous as he did at The Manor. We both look up at him as he does a little tennis spectator impression, flicking his eyes from me to Kate and back again a few times.

Stalking over to Kate, he all but hauls her out of the lounge by her elbow. ‘We need to talk.’ he says urgently. I crane my neck around, watching as he practically throws her into her bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

I lie on the sofa, my tea resting on my stomach, and close my eyes. They don’t stay shut for long. Mental images of Jesse are imprinted on my brain, and with my eyes closed, there’s no other visual distraction, so they are all the more clearer. I’m never going to be able to sleep again. My phone starts again. Reaching down, I stab the reject button, staring up at the swirly artex ceiling of the lounge.

I’ve never felt pain like this before. It’s excruciating and way beyond fixable. He owns a fucking sex club? Why? Why couldn’t he be a banker or a financial advisor? Or…a hotel owner… I knew there was something wrong, something dangerous. Why didn’t I take a few moments to try and gather my senses? I know exactly why – because I wasn’t allowed to, I wasn’t given a chance to.

I sit up when I hear Kate’s high shrill travel across the landing, followed by Sam’s placating tones trying to calm her down. She flies out of her room with Sam in tow. He’s struggling to pull her back.

‘Get your fucking hands off me, Samuel. She needs to know.’

‘Wait a minute…Kate…arhhhhhh! What the fuck did you do that for?’ Kate retrieves her knee from Sam’s groin, leaving him in a folded, groaning mess on the landing, before barging into the lounge and punching me with her blue stare.

‘What?’ I ask, apprehensively. What do I need to know now?

She throws Sam a filthy look when he appears at the lounge door grasping his groin. I’m left wondering why Sam’s looking so apologetic when it’s Kate that’s just kneed him in the balls. She points at the chair aggressively, silently demanding him to sit. He limps over, lowering himself on a painful hiss.

‘Ava, he’s on his way over.’ she tells me calmly. I don’t know why she chooses this tone. It’s not going to calm me – not at all.

I gasp, looking at Sam sat in the chair, refusing to meet my eyes. He wasn’t going to tell me? I was stupid to think Jesse would make this easy. ‘I need to leave,’ I wail as my damn phone starts again. ‘Fuck off!’ I shout at the stupid thing.

‘Take her.’ Kate swings around to Sam. ‘She’s in no state to drive.’