Page 63
“Technically, it was after and we were in my old room, so it wasn’t at the wedding.”
“But still. You had sex on my wedding night before me!” Phoebe laughed. “You go, girl.” Her humor faded. “Are you okay? Have you told him? What did he say? Are you going to tell him? How do you think he feels about you? Does anyone else know?” She paused. “You can talk now.”
“Gee, thanks.” Maya considered the list of questions. “I don’t know how I feel. No, I haven’t told him. Yes, I am scared. Very scared. I blew it the first time. Why would Del trust me now?”
“So he doesn’t know how you feel?”
“No. I haven’t said anything. I don’t know what to say.” Maya shifted in her chair. “We have to work together. I don’t want things to be awkward. We’re in a good place. Saying something would mess that up.”
“Maybe in the best way possible. What if he’s in love with you?”
“Then he can say something.” Maya drew in a breath. “I dumped him before and I was cruel about it. He has every right to hate me or punish me and he’s only been nice. While I appreciate that, I can’t help thinking he would never trust me again. It’s too soon. It’s just...”
“You’re scared.”
“More like terrified.”
There it was. The truth. Nothing to be proud of, but real, she thought.
Phoebe’s expression was kind. “What do you want?”
“I don’t know. Del isn’t the type to stick around. I just got back. I’m settled.”
“You don’t sound settled.”
“I’m confused. I love being back. The town is fantastic. I have everything I should want.”
“Don’t talk to me about shoulds,” Phoebe said firmly. “I let them run my life for way too long. What does your heart tell you?”
That she loved Del and wanted to be with him. That seeing the world appealed to her. That she wanted to be a part of a project that meant something more than celebrity gossip and cable access butt contests.
“I don’t know,” she lied. Because she was afraid. Afraid of asking and being rejected. But if she didn’t ask, didn’t she risk losing out altogether? Wasn’t it better to put it out there, to go for it?
“Maybe it’s time to find out,” her friend told her, speaking more truth than she could possibly know.
* * *
DEL PULLED UP in front of his parents’ house. His mother had texted him, telling him she needed to see him as soon as possible. Normally a request like that wouldn’t have bothered him, but he remembered his father’s concerns about Elaine, so had hurried right over.
Over the past couple of weeks, he’d stopped by twice. His mom had seemed like her normal self. A little tired, but she’d claimed she wasn’t sleeping well. Something about “the change.” A topic he hadn’t been comfortable discussing. Now he wondered what was suddenly so urgent.
As soon as he stopped the engine, Sophie bounded out of the house. The beagle ran toward him, her soft ears flopping in the early afternoon. She greeted him with a doggie grin and wagging tail.
“Hey, girl,” Del said, crouching on the ground and petting her. She wiggled close to get as many rubs as she could. He obliged until he saw his mother step onto the wide porch.
Elaine looked pale and tired. There were shadows under her eyes and a slump to her shoulders. Alarmed, he went to her.
“Mom?”
Before he could say anything else, she started to cry.
“I can’t do it,” she said, tears spilling down her cheeks. “It’s too much. All of it. The party, your father. I just heard from Ronan and Mathias, and they’re both coming. Their rooms aren’t ready, the house is a mess and I’m so tired. I can’t do it.”
Del wasn’t used to seeing his mother as anything but an even-tempered, calm, capable woman. He’d only ever seen her cry a handful of times and that was nearly always over his father. He would have sworn that when it came to easy stuff like throwing a party, she was unflappable.
He walked up onto the porch and drew her into his arms. “Whatever it is, I’m here. We’ll deal. You don’t have to do this alone.”
She sagged against him. He was shocked by how thin she felt. How frail. He’d dismissed his father’s concerns, but now knew he should have listened. Something was going on.
He led her to the bench by the front door and waited until she sat. He settled next to her, then had to make room for Sophie, who jumped between them. The beagle stared at him as if to say “Finally. I’ve been worried about Mom.”
“Tell me what’s up.” He kept his tone as calm and caring as possible.
She wiped her eyes. “Nothing. I’m tired. I have a virus or something. I haven’t been sleeping.” She faked a smile. “I’m fine.”
“Mom, you’re not fine. You don’t let stuff like this bother you. There has to be something.” He braced himself to hear something that would make him uncomfortable, then forced himself to ask, “Is it Dad?”
“Your father? No. He’s exactly as he’s always been.” She tried another smile. This one worked a little better. “You should ignore me.”
He put his arm around her and kissed her cheek. “That’s not going to happen. Mom, are you sure there isn’t anything wrong?”