I know I shouldn’t do it. I know it’s wrong and beyond fucked up, but I’m too hard to walk away. I figure, if I do this quickly and then get back to Dad—no harm done.

Her lips wrap around me, coating my bare skin in slick, wet saliva. A groan slips from my throat and her fingers dig into my legs as she takes me all the way to the back of her throat. I grit my teeth against a shiver threatening to overcome me and grab a fistful of her soft hair, forcing her to move faster and harder. She moans, almost sending me over the edge, but I’m not done. Not until I make her feel as good as she’s making me feel. All rational thoughts fly out the window the moment her warm tongue wraps around the tip and a dark hunger is released inside of me. I force the woman roughly to her feet. She drags an index finger along her bottom lip and I grip her hips as she wraps her arms around my neck. I push her backwards, passing the couches and going straight to Mason’s desk. As she slides onto the table, I pull back and reach for the wallet in my back pocket. While she tugs her pathetic excuse for underwear down her legs, I find a condom and slip the wallet back into my pocket. I waste no time in ripping the foil and rolling it on. Within seconds I’m between her thighs and pushing my way inside her. No thoughts fill my mind—nothing that will bring me back to my senses, anyway. I avoid kissing her mouth in respect of her marriage—I almost cringe.

How fucking thoughtful of me.

I’m relieved she doesn’t mind me avoiding her lips. She isn’t looking for romance or passion…a quick fuck to get back at her husband is all she wants. Mason’s wife falls back, lying flat on his desk, her eyes closed. I tighten my grip on her hips, pulling her into me with every thrust.

“Oh fuck, yes,” she moans and I feel her tighten around me.

I sink my teeth into my bottom lip, trying to hold back my own groans of pleasure as she wraps her legs around my hips, squeezing me closer to her. I feel my release gaining momentum and getting nearer as she digs her fingers into the wood, turning them white.

“Faster, shit,” she cries and her legs begin to spasm.

Her fast breathing turn into gasps for air and her walls clamp down on me. The pressure on my cock sends me over the edge and I lean over her, my own hands turning white and bloodless under the pressure as my knees threaten to buckle. I feel myself pulse inside of her as I release and I grit my teeth against moaning out loud.

Fucking hell.

I take a few slow, deep breaths and draw myself to full height. Almost immediately, I feel a regretful sickness creep through my stomach and cling to all of my vital organs. What have I done?

I slip off the condom and drop it into the bin. Raking my fingers through my hair, Mason’s wife bends down for her underwear and I follow suit, buttoning my own jeans. As luck would have it, before I get the button done, the door opens and I freeze.

“Honey, this is—”

Holy shit. Fuck.

Mason’s words are cut off as he takes in the scene before him. His wife finishes adjusting her red thong and pulls down her dress, covering the red marks my fingers made when I squeezed her flesh.

“Seth?” There’s no mistaking the complete disgust in Dad’s voice and I flinch. “What the fuck is going on?”

“I’ll tell you what’s going on,” the woman says as she grabs her handbag. “Seth here was showing me a good time—a great time. This is the last time you neglect me, Mason. I want a divorce.”

She reaches into her bag and retrieves a packet of cigarettes. She plucks one out, puts it between her lips and ignites it with a tacky diamante lighter. With a sultry wink in my direction, she says. “Thanks, handsome.” And then she pushes past Dad and her husband—ex-husband. Mason starts toward me, hate as clear as day in the blue depths of his eyes and I’m not going to fight him. I’m going to let him punch me in the face. Fuck knows I deserve it, but before he reaches me, Dad dives between us. “Go after your wife, Mason. I’ll deal with Seth.”

I frown, knowing that whatever mental shit Dad dishes out will be a million times worse than what Mason could ever do to me physically.

Mason whips around on his heel and storms from his office, shouting after his wife.

“Dad, it’s not my—”

My words are cut off by a harsh slap to my cheek and it tosses my head to the side. I feel my nostrils flare and I clench my jaw against the urge to hit him back as I slowly turn to face him.

“It’s not my fault,” I almost growl at him.

“It’s not your fault? Did she tie you down and force you to put your dick in her?”

I grit my teeth. “No.”

“No, she didn’t. It’s your fault just as much as it is hers.” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “I thought you changed, Seth, but you’re still the same disgraceful embarrassment you were months ago and I’m finished with you.”

The look on Dad’s face—the look of pure resentment and disappointment seeps through my pores, flows through my bloodstream and penetrates my heart. The last few months I’ve worked so hard to make him proud…only to destroy it.

***

Pain flashes across my mouth as my lip is crushed against my teeth and it splits.

Shit. I zoned out again.

“Seth! What the fuck are you doing?” Darryl’s voice pierces me and I lick my lip.

Blood. I fucking hate the taste of blood. I lunge forward, slamming my gloved hand into Dave’s stomach. He hunches over and I grab his head, driving my knee into his face. With a grunt, he falls onto his hands and knees. As soon as I’m done, Darryl launches himself into the ring, clutching his stopwatch to stop it from swinging around his neck. I press my glove against my lip and look at it. There isn’t too much blood, thank God, which means there isn’t too much damage…I hope.

“Are you awake? You’re as disoriented as a kidnapped prostitute on heroin.”

“I’m awake,” I tell him, rolling my head from side to side. “I just didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“Why? Are you ill?”

“No.”

He puts his hands on his hips. “Then why aren’t you sleeping?”

Choosing to avoid the flashback of me disappointing my father, I say. “Because I’m wound too tightly, Darryl. I can’t go months without sex. I’m not in the amateur league anymore. My fights aren’t a week or two apart... they’re months apart and I can’t handle it.”

Surprisingly, Darryl laughs. “You can’t sleep because you’re horny? You’re letting your sparring partners get through your guard because you want to fuck your girlfriend?” He pinches the bridge of his nose (a typical Darryl reaction) and exhales. “If having sex is going to keep you on the top of your game and alert, then fine, do it. But if you come back tomorrow and you don’t give me two hundred percent, I’m going to kick your ass myself, got it?”

I roll my eyes. Darryl’s good at what he does and definitely knows his way around a cage, but he could never beat me.

“Go it?”

“Yeah, I got it.”

“Good.” He turns from me to face the other sparrers. “Next.”

As my next sparrer prepares his gloves, I scan the gym for Olivia. I spot her leaning against a training room door. Her long, slender fingers reach up and tighten her ponytail and she flicks it over one shoulder.

She’s perfect.

I think back to my recent flashback and grit my teeth as a pang of guilt crushes my stomach. The fact Olivia willing touches what too many other girls have touched makes me sick. I should be special for her…like she is special for me. If I could go back and do everything again, I’d have waited for her because no one makes me feel as good as she does. Olivia doesn’t make me feel dirty, like I did when I was with other girls. When we have sex, she doesn’t make me feel like I’m doing something wrong and that’s what drew me to her. She makes me feel good, she makes me feel like a better person—the person I should have been for my father. I watch her laugh and playfully slap Brad on the arm, and even from here I can see the pink flush that burns at her cheeks. Brad grabs her shoulders and pulls her into him before his eyes flick to me.

Oh hell no.

I tear my gloves off and drop them to the floor as my new sparrer steps in. I stalk across the ring and the floor shakes with every step I take.

“What the hell are you doing? Put your gloves back on,” Darryl demands.

“More important things to do,” I tell him, not breaking my visual on Brad and Olivia.

“More important things—Seth…”

I ignore him as I slip between the ropes and onto the stable gym floor. Brad retracts his arms from Olivia and an uncomfortable cringe creeps over his face. When she turns to see me coming for her, she shakes her head at me, like I’m seconds away from overreacting.

“Seth, what are you—ah!” I grab her hips and lift her, throwing her over my shoulder. “Put me down—Brad, give me a second. Seth, stop.”

I don’t stop. I keep carrying her until we’re in her office. I storm across the room and drop her into her office chair, gripping the arms of it so it doesn’t roll away.

“Feel better now?” She laughs and I feel my eyebrows draw together. Is this funny?

“He isn’t coming here, O. Tell him we’re full,” I demand in a tone so dark she can’t possibly mistake it for a question.

Her soft hands glide up my arms, softening my frustrated edge. “You don’t trust me?”

I stare into her beautiful green eyes, unwavering. “I trust you—it’s everybody else I don’t trust.”

“Seth…” She sighs, running a hand over her face, defeated. “Brad is gay. He isn’t into me, he’s into you.”

I frown and her hands rise to her mouth as her body vibrates with laughter. Gay? No…I’ve seen and met plenty of gay guys. They were all the same—confident, over the top, and feminine. Brad has a husky voice, he doesn’t walk funny, and I didn’t see him purse his lips once. I drop to my knees, keeping my hands on the armrests.

“You look shocked.” Her chest hiccups with a remaining giggle.

“I am. He doesn’t look gay…”

“What do you mean he doesn’t look gay? Gays aren’t all the same.”

But I’m certain they are. I’ve seen so many and all their personalities have been as indistinguishable as the last.

I put my hands on my hips and sink to the floor before her. “Now I feel like a dick…”

Olivia slides closer and slips her hands around my neck. Her green eyes flare at me from underneath her dark lashes and the corners of her lips jerk. “Well, it’s a good thing he’s into dicks, isn’t it?”

I don’t want to laugh, but my lips pull wider anyway and my chest rumbles. I slip my hands underneath her, pulling her off the chair and onto my lap. She molds perfectly to me and my body is anything but immune to her covered breasts that press against my chest.

“How long did it take you to come up with that one?” I ask, lowering my mouth to hers.

“I’ve been waiting to say it since the moment Brad walked in and you looked like you wanted to kill him.”

O’s tongue flicks out and brushes the cut on my bottom lip. She cringes, her eyes glossing over with sympathy. “Does it hurt?”

“Not anymore.”

My hands snake underneath her tight tank top and up the warm skin of her back as her own fingers brush the back of my neck before slipping into my hair. She rolls her hips forward, sliding further onto me and my breathing deepens. My whole body tightens and clenches as she urges her mouth on mine, pressing slightly on my cut as she dips her tongue inside, eliciting a moan from me.

“Darryl gave me the green light…” I tell her, pulling back and resting my forehead against hers. “Tell me to stop or I’m going to take you right now.”

Her eyelids drop minutely and she leans in close, her lips grazing my earlobe. “Whatever you do,” she breathes, “don’t stop.”

I tear my hands from her shirt and bury them in her hair, roughly tugging her backwards. She gasps and our eyes connect. My blood burns as her irises flare, sending my body buzzing before she crushes her mouth to mine. I drop an arm and wrap it around her waist, urging her onto her back. In one fluid movement, she hitches a thigh round my hip as I pin her body against the wooden floor and press myself right between her thighs. She groans and flexes her hips into mine. The movement is almost enough to have me coming in my pants. I pull her shirt up and tug her bra down so her voluptuous mounds flow over the useless cups. I suck a hard nipple into my mouth and she lifts her hips. I curl my fingers around the hem of her shorts and she sucks in a sharp breath. I can feel the heat radiating from her and I want to be in her—deep in her—until I lose sense of where I am, until I can’t think straight.

Knock. Knock.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I groan with a mouth full of breast.

I release her and she groans, disappointed. I look up at her face. Her eyes are closed, trying to compose herself. She swallows hard before opening her eyes blinking at me. How hard is it to have five goddamn seconds to myself?

“What?” I call out, unable to mask my frustration.

“When I said you can have sex, I didn’t mean now,” Darryl shouts, his voice vibrating through the wood and killing the heat between Olivia’s legs. “Get out here. You still have a full training session to get through, not to mention the five minute planks for being late.”

With a defeated sigh, Olivia shifts underneath me and conceals her pink nipples behind her white bra.