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Page 58
Page 58
Entering the bedroom, I scoured every corner—glared into every shadow. We may be on an island, far away from trouble, but I wouldn’t let my guard down again. I wouldn’t believe I was strong enough to win another stupid battle.
My luck had been used up. I was alive. And that’s how I wanted to keep it.
The room was the same exquisite openness. The huge bed groaned with mountains of pillows in blue and white, bringing the sea inside.
I didn’t know how long Suzette would spend with Tess. They were women after all—gossip came naturally.
Damn women. I wanted my woman. Now.
Standing in the centre of the room, my aches and pains took hold. A surge of loneliness squeezed my heart. I’m lonely. How f**king ridiculous. I was lonely for Tess. I just saw her.
I rolled my eyes, but nothing could stop the deserted feeling. I turned in place, intending to stalk across the suite and demand Suzette give Tess back to me. I needed comforting. Ha! Me. I wanted her—to distract my thoughts from what I’d lived through.
You can’t.
It would look f**king laughable. Limping to Tess like some child, begging for a hug. I wasn’t that weak and I damn well wouldn’t show Tess how screwed up I was.
Shit.
Lynx had done more than made me scream—he’d made me weak.
My body creaked as I moved. Considering a spa wasn’t an option, a shower would have to do. I needed to wash away the past. Least it gave me something to do—gave Suzette time to clear the f**k off.
The bathroom was simple but modern with a frameless glass shower and beige tiling. I eyed the shower, hankering for heat on my aching muscles. But getting undressed proved to be a bitch.
Twisting my torso, the borrowed t-shirt made my life a living hell trying to tug it over my head. Every angle felt like another baseball bat to my chest. Panting hard, I finally untangled myself only to have the same battle with my jeans.
“Goddammit.” I gritted my teeth as the denim slid down, revealing my legs covered in bruises and bandages.
It seemed the longer I was apart from Tess the more I hurt.
Another reason why I wouldn’t let her sleep without me.
I needed her more than any drug.
Turning on the water, I stood like a f**king pu**y. Water splashed into the drain, steaming and inviting but all I saw was death. Every droplet, so innocent, was a silent killer just waiting for me to step under the torrent.
Get in there, ass**le.
Balling my hands, I stepped under the spray. Every muscle locked; my heart exploded in fear. My eyes stayed wide, terrified my vision would be traded for a black towel. I’d never had an issue getting over things I’d done or caused. I’d never had a second thought of being shot or torturing others.
But this.
That bastard had stolen the simple pleasure of a shower. He’d taught me how to fear and I f**king hated it.
I threw my head back, drenching my hair and face. My heart went ballistic, my lips locked together, and my nostrils flared for breath.
You can breathe.
No one is trying to murder you.
I forced myself to stay under the spray. I locked my legs from running and endured.
My heartbeat thundered in my ears, but I kept my breathing slow and deep. Gradually getting control on my runaway emotions.
By the time I’d washed, rinsed, and soaped away the past few days, my heart rate was calmer and I wouldn’t make a fool of myself next time I needed a shower. It was just water.
Stepping from the steaming facilities, I looked down at the bandages on my legs. Drenched. Probably not a good thing to get them wet but I was past caring.
I was clean. And now I was bone-weary and ready to drop into a coma.
But not in an empty bed.
Not bothering to dry myself—that would require the use of a towel—not going to f**king happen—I padded barefoot and na**d through the house to the other wing. I hoped to God Suzette had left otherwise she would get an eyeful. Not that it seemed to matter. Most of my staff had seen me naked—hazards of the job.
A few bedrooms branched off the wide corridor; I peered into each one before I found my esclave.
Her room was shrouded in shadow, making the passed out figure in the centre of the bed look fragile, lonely—so f**king vulnerable.
She’d had a shower too, smelling of fruit and whatever shit was in the shampoo.
Inching into the room, I moved as silently as I could with a mangled body. My heart physically hurt looking at her. Her features were smudged by the night but her blonde hair glowed like a lighthouse, guiding me toward her.
Gently, I pulled the covers back, hissing between my teeth as I lowered my body from vertical to horizontal. The pressure of the mattress against my back was like a f**king bat all over again. The fronts of my legs stung as the sheets stuck to cuts not covered with bandages. Every inch of me groaned in agony.
But I didn’t care.
I didn’t care because I was in bed. Safe. Beside her.
Tess’s breathing changed as I shifted closer. Her form tensed into a tighter ball. “Q?”
“C'est moi.” It’s me.
Her body relaxed, radiating heat and welcome. Her hand came up, stroking my damp hair as I settled painfully onto my side. Her eyes met mine. “Are you okay?”
“Turn around, let me hug you. Ensuite, j’irai bien.” Then I will be.
Tess didn’t utter another word. Obediently, she turned over, pressing her bed-warmed body into mine.
The moment her form slotted against me in perfect synergy, the aches and bruises and cuts all faded into non-existence.
Nothing else mattered anymore. I was exactly where I wanted to be. For life.
I sighed heavily, breathing in the fruitiness of her hair. “God, I needed that. Needed you.”
She moaned as I wrapped an arm around her waist, trapping her against me. Already it was too hot beneath the covers but an atomic bomb would have to go off to tear me away.
My legs twitched as sleepiness attacked me fast and strong. So much for reminding her who owned who. My libido was in a coma already—tugging me down fast with it.
I yawned. “This. This is what I want for the rest of my life.”
Tess linked her fingers with mine, resting them over her breast. Her ass pressed harder into my cock. My belly fluttered—my c**k struggled to rise. But after everything I’d been through, it just wasn’t going to happen.
Tonight wasn’t about sex or domination. Tonight was about giving and taking. Feeding and sowing. Reconnection with gentleness rather than pain.
We’d both had enough.
The only thing I was capable of was holding Tess while I healed. I’d hit my final limit.
“You have me for the rest of your life, maître.” Tess snuggled closer, her body melting into mine.
Her words were the last things I heard before succumbing to the deep chasm of sleep.
I let go.
I fell into the light.
And this time, darkness didn’t claim me. This time, I soared into the clouds because I held an angel in my arms and she made me deserving.
As long as I had Tess, I wouldn’t go to hell. She made me worthy. She made me better.
I’d won.
We’d won.
We’d fought for our happily ever after. Lies had become truths. Tears had become smiles.
Everything was as it should be.
We deserved our triumphs.
Chapter Fifteen
My salvation
My together
Q left me when dawn arrived.
Kissing my temple, he clambered sorely out of bed. “See you in a few hours, esclave.”
I held onto his wrist, not wanting him to go. I couldn’t understand why one moment I was giddy with joy thinking of what today meant for us, then I wanted to throw up. I was nervous, excited, happy, freaking out.
“You promise you’ll be waiting for me?” I didn’t understand my sudden insecurities. It just seemed like everything I’d ever wanted existed in a future I daren’t grasp. I didn’t want to think how close to perfection we were just in case it turned out to be fate’s cruel joke.
Q bent over, his eyes tightening with pain thanks to his blue and black body. He stood naked, wearing his wounds with pride. The bandages on his legs stained with pinpricks of blood. “I’ll be the one sweating at the top of the aisle hoping to hell you haven’t changed your mind. Je vais t’épouser aujourd'hui, Tess. Pas de fuite.” I'm marrying you today, Tess. No running.
My heart strummed. Before I could reply, he left, walking his fine butt out of my room. My eyes trailed after him, landing on his bruises. My stomach heaved with anger.
Killing Lynx wasn’t enough for what Q endured. I loved Q more than life itself and I’d finally proven I deserved him. I’d accepted the feral part of myself and survived. I suffered no remorse, none. And I would do it all again if I had to.
Q disappeared down the corridor. The next time I see him he’ll be mine for eternity.
He’d be my husband.
The nerves in my stomach switched to sublime happiness. Unstifled joy sprang me upward, hurling me out of bed to meet my future.
I spent thirty minutes in the shower, giving myself no time restrictions to shave, primp, and prepare. The luxury of enjoying my own company with no dark thoughts ruining my happiness was priceless. I’d forgotten how it felt to be weightless—joyous.
Suzette arrived at eight a.m. giving me just enough time to order room service of fresh fruit and an omelette, and douse myself on coffee. The closer we came to the ceremony the more my tummy churned. Nerves fluttered unhindered, slicking my palms, racing my heart.
I wanted to be Q’s so badly—I couldn’t relax until it came true.
Suzette came bearing gifts.
Make up. Shoebox. Covered dress. And a bag that looked suspiciously like lingerie.
“Morning. Hope you slept well.” She dumped the items on the bed, looking like the complete master of whatever she’d planned. Looking me up and down, she nodded. “Good to see you’re showered and fed. Two things I can scratch off my to-do list.”
Two women with plaited black hair and sun-darkened skin appeared, looking to Suzette for guidance.
Suzette grinned, waving them into the room and toward the dresser with its white lacquered wood and large ornate mirror.
“We’ll set up everything over there.”
I didn’t say a word—I didn’t think I was expected to as Suzette assembled order at the dressing table, plopping bottles, lining up mascaras and eye-shadow.
Coming toward me, she grabbed my hand, marching me toward the chair. “Sit.”
I descended on the soft periwinkle stool and looked at myself for the first time in forever.
Oh, my God. Is that my reflection?
I looked haggard. My hair hung damp around my shoulders, lifeless. My skin looked ashen and the shadows under my eyes showed just how much I’d been through in the past few days.
But it was my gaze that scared me—that made my mouth hang open. I no longer recognised myself.
The crescent moon had completely changed me.
Gone was the softness—the innocence. I no longer looked like the insecure Australian girl I’d been. I’d stared death in the face; I’d stepped into the cloak of the grim reaper and stolen two lives willingly.
The grey was tempered with hardness, the blue glittering with strength. I didn’t look weak or lost or afraid. I looked ruthless. My eyes were no longer one dimensional but hid strength of character, trials overcome, sorrow defeated, and horror tamed.
I look like him.
I clutched my heart, realizing what’d changed. I’d adopted the same chilly sharpness that both Q and Franco lived with. I’d embraced something that would never be changeable. I’d evolved into a woman who no one would deny belonged beside Q completely.
Tears welled, turning my vision into a watery dream.
“Aw, Tess. It’s okay.” Suzette’s arms wrapped around my neck from behind, her soft cheek pressing against mine.
More tears fell but I wasn’t crying because of what I’d done. I cried because of what I’d become. I never thought I could be so strong, so self-assured—so…dangerous.
I’m worthy.
Finally—I was worthy. Not for Q or the abundant future he promised, but for myself. I felt worthy enough to be proud.
Suzette’s eyes met mine in the mirror. “I know you killed to get him back. Franco told me a little about what happened.” She pecked my cheek before pulling away, gathering my hair with her feminine touch. “You saved him—just as much as he saved you. Maybe even more.”
My life would never be the same. The chrysalis of the Tess I never thought I’d find finally cracked its final layer. I emerged into my new world wondrously happy, courageously strong, and deeply in love.
“You’re different, Tess,” Suzette murmured. “Is that what you’re seeing, too?”
I nodded, unable to believe the immense transformation.
I shivered as Suzette’s fingernails dragged over my scalp. Her touch was soothing. “I’m happy for you, mon ami. I won’t lie and say I’ve been waiting for that closure to come to me.”
Closure.
That’s what it was.
I didn’t have towers or gates barring bad memories because the memories were dealt with. I no longer segmented off my mind. Because everything was in its rightful place, and I just knew.
Knew that this was my absolute home. My happy place. The epicentre of my soul.
“You’re still struggling, Suzette?” I whispered, letting her busy herself with untangling my hair. Grabbing a brush from one of the drawers, Suzette proceeded to tame my curls, building the golden glow that’d been lost thanks to stress and lack of sleep.
“I’m not struggling, exactly. I’ve put it all behind me. But I haven’t got to the point where I’m okay with it—you know?”