Something suddenly starts forming on my head, and I reach up, feeling what is most definitely a jeweled crown of some sort.

I’m not sure why that makes me smirk, but it does. It feels like I’ve missed this crown, and I don’t even know what it looks like. However, I certainly never want to be parted with it now.

Did I just get a level-up?

My eyes scan over the death and pestilence left behind in our wake, seeing ashes flickering in the sky as the devastated multitude lay riddled in waste, slowly being eaten by the ground. Now I can say I’ve done something productive for the day.

And I’m not even tired…

It’s like a scene from…the apocalypse—the non-name version of it.

It should probably disturb me how much I needed this release. I guess I’m still a horrible person in all my lives.

“The balance is right again,” I say under my breath as if it finally makes sense.

When I turn back around, everyone is still staring at me, including the guys, who still seem a little befuddled by their ridiculous clothing and weapons.

However, Gage grins very fondly at his sword.

Jude glares at his scythe like it’s the most offensive weapon in all the world.

Jude’s eyes meet mine, and he darts a glance to the crown before saying, “Fucking figures.”

I snort.

“Says Death as he holds his scythe,” I fire back, an arched eyebrow accompanying my snark. “Who’s the real stereotype in this scenario?” I add with a fuck-you smile.

Ezekiel coughs to cover a laugh, as everyone else just sort of awkwardly stares and watches the five of us. These people were just attacked, so you think they’d have better things to do than gawk.

Like maybe show some gratitude? Doesn’t anyone do that anymore? Not one person has said so much as, “Thanks.”

“I’m cool with my new weapon,” Kai says, swinging around his trident.

At least fifty or more onlookers drop to their stomachs and cover their faces like they’re terrified he’s going to accidentally give them the same face-eating disease he gave those others.

My guys all stifle a grin, since that would be, you know, psychotic to grin about.

Too late do I realize I’ve forgotten to stifle my own grin, so I’m the only one who looks psychotic.

My life can be unfair at times.

“I assure you they’re far worse than me,” I tell some of the really pale and terrified people on the ground. “We’re not going to kill you unless you’re a rebel. Are any of you rebels who slipped through that we forgot to kill?” I ask, not really sure what a rebel looks like and idly wondering if I accidentally recycled some of the wrong people…

Clearly they all rapidly shake their heads. I’m certain, at this point, if they were rebels, they won’t be any more.

“Good,” I state happily, causing all of the guys to restrain smiles for a new reason.

“So when is it not too soon to point out that your ‘badass’ fight clothes are skirts?” I ask the guys, no longer interested in the gaping crowd around us who are still on their bellies.

Four dry looks are my response.

“Because that’s simply fascinating,” I go on, my grin only growing.

“Thought you didn’t want them thinking you’re the most psychotic,” Gage states flatly.

“I think it’s too late for that. Besides, I know you four are worse than me, even if they don’t. Can we go see if any rebels got away? That really made me feel better after seeing all four of you paw all over that girl. Who was she? She was a relationship girl, wasn’t she?” I prompt, feeling much more rational about the whole situation now that I’ve raged a bit and spread around some wrath.

“Can we not do this here?” Gage asks me, sighing heavily.

“Where would you like to do it? Is she the reason you didn’t join me in bed and stave off that horrible nightmare?” I prod.

“Of course not,” Jude answers, groaning like I’m impossible.

“Gage was her favorite,” Kai tattles. “Her name is Chloe, and she’s a castle guard.”

“Would it be petty of me to recycle her for abandoning her post when I technically don’t have the authority to do that?” I muse aloud.

“Yes,” they all four answer in quick unison.

“Are you seriously defending her over me?” I ask with a mock gasp, hoping they buy my act, since it’s funny to watch them actually be horrified by me.

They don’t give me a horrified look, unfortunately. It’s more of a bland, exasperated look.

“Congratulations. You’ve officially become the most psychotic person here,” Jude states with a fuck-you smile that is too much like mine, even though mine’s still better.

Rolling my eyes, I once again give the people on their bellies my attention. “Now that we’ve sufficiently snuffed out any individual complaints this day, can anyone point me in the Devil’s direction? I need to appropriately mock him for not being able to handle this uprising himself or with the help of all those lesser heirs of his,” I prattle on, not understanding the value of less is more.

Jude scrubs a hand over his face, and Gage groans while shaking his head. Kai grins at me, which makes him my current favorite, since Ezekiel is giving me that neck-wringing motion.

Instead of a death maze in hell’s belly, I’m going to give them all mime-school certificates for their next birthdays so they can learn some new tricks.

A feminine set of giggles from far above has my spine stiffening. My gaze swings up to see the Devil’s heirs lounging carelessly in some hammocks attached to the overhang of the castle.

Sure. Makes perfect sense to put hammocks there.

Both Hera and Lilith are sharing a hammock and a bowl of popcorn, their lips curved in familiar grins.

Cain is scratching his balls with one hand while snorting something up his nose that looks suspiciously like hell drugs. Are there hell drugs? I’m sure there are.

Manella and Lamar are lovey dovey in their little hammock, looking drunk off the carnage.

The twins are in separate hammocks. One has a guy sucking him off, and the other has a girl sucking him.

Classy bunch, I tell ya.

Hooking a thumb in their direction, I look back at the guys. “Who did you say looks the most psychotic?” I ask Jude, giving him the fuck-you smile right back.

He bristles, unamused, and the four of them move toward me as someone starts a slow-clap.

Everyone else remains on their bellies as the clapping echoes, coming from one of the holes that has been blown into the castle wall just in front of us. The clapping nears with all the dramatic, ominous build one would expect at a moment like this.

It’s cliché, if you ask me.

The guys cut off my vision when they line up in front of me like a wall, so I go phantom and zap to be in front of them just as the Devil emerges from that gaping hole and steps out, still clapping like am underachieving smartass.

The smirk on his face has me almost hating him for what he’s about to say, because I realize now what just happened.

Damn that Devil and his manipulations.

All these heirs were simply waiting on me to arrive, like they knew they didn’t have to lift a lazy finger to help out. And Lucifer just let it bait me down here because he really does know me far too well.

He stops clapping, that calculated gleam in his eyes twinkling as he gives me the definition of a devilish grin.

“Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to reintroduce my favorite child and her harem,” he says, never looking away from me. “You’ve probably heard of them,” he goes on, looking away for a brief second before his eyes lock on mine again.

Apparently he likes suspense, because he leaves everyone hanging for an annoyingly pregnant pause.

“The Four horsemen of The Apocalypse,” he concludes.

“Dun! Dun! Duuuuuunnnn!” one of the Twins adds with even more theatrical dramatization.

I think I hear every person on the ground suck in a terrified breath, so I stand a little taller to ensure I look the part. It’s too late to take it back now, and it’d a horrible idea to look like I’m anything less than super crazy and powerful.

The Devil played me, and I was too stupid to realize it.

He wins.

This time.

Everyone rises from the ground enough to get on their knees and bow to me properly in a wave of motion that gives me little tingles. Adjusting my crown, I keep in character. Sort of. Not really though.

A grin spreads over my face as I reach back and thump Jude’s chest.

“Now that’s the reaction I expected from the four of you after I appeared and became the solution to all your problems; not that any of your ungrateful asses took notice,” I say, gesturing to all the bowing people on the ground who respect my awesomeness.

My grin only grows as I look at my psychos’ stoic faces. Kai snorts derisively, and I wink at Gage when he gives me his best unimpressed expression. Ezekiel becomes my favorite when he grins too.

My gaze collides with Lucifer’s once more, as he adds, “Welcome home. We have a lot of work to do now that the world knows you’re back.”

Damn Devil.

Even my smile dies with that announcement.

Chapter 7

The Twins have lost their appointed cocksuckers when they walk into the room the guys and I are already seated in. I’m drinking out of a jeweled chalice, but there’s no virgin blood in it.