“Mommy, will I get presents too?”

I look away from the light a few cars ahead of me, still red, before looking up and focusing on Cohen’s reflection in my rearview mirror.

I smile from just looking at his messy brown hair a few weeks past due for a cut, tousled just the way Greg’s always is these days.  His brown eyes, always bright with unshed energy, and that crooked smile never fail to melt my heart.  I instantly want to start sobbing with the strength of my love for this little guy.

“Mommy, your face looks funny like it does when you cry.  Are you going to cry?  I don’t have to get presents.  I can wait till my birthday if you forgot them.  Will Aunt Izzy have cake?  I like leopards.  Can we get my girls some leopards to match their sheets in their beds?”  His smile gets bigger and he shakes his head rapidly.

“I love you, you know that?” I ask, smiling at him one more time before returning my eyes to the road when I see the light turn green.

“I know.  I’m awesome.”

“Yes, you sure are.”  I laugh, waiting for the car in front of me to go.  I swear, traffic is a mess today.  Apparently everyone and their mothers have somewhere they have to be.

“Can we buy a boat?  I hope Aunt Izzy got a big cake. I’m going to eat it all up and get big like Maddox Locke.”

“Cohen, you are so silly.  Why don’t you just call him Maddox?”  Cohen’s been calling Maddox by his full name for so long now that it’s almost slipped out from my own lips a few times.  Everyone thinks it’s the cutest thing ever, but honestly, it’s just another weird little piece of Cohen logic that helps make him the coolest kid around.

“Because.”

“Because why?”

“Because Maddox Locke is cooler, and it makes me smile.  Maddox Locke is funny.  He told me that one day I’m going to be a big boy and I need to watch how Daddy acts so that I can be the bestest man in the whole world, just like Daddy.  He says it’s the key to being a superhero.  Maddox Locke keeps his secrets all locked up.  He told me that.  But sometimes he unlocks his secrets and tells me some.  So he’s my Maddox Locke.”

I have to take my eyes off the road and look at him.  I’ve never noticed him and Maddox having conversations long enough for all that.  Maddox is, for the most part, quiet and pensive.  I’ve always known that he holds some deep pain, and while it’s no secret with the girls that he’s got a seriously secret soft side, this is the first I’ve heard of him and Cohen bonding like this.

“You know, he might be onto something there.”

“I know.”

I smile, focusing my attention back on the road when we finally start making some progress through the intersection that’s been backed up for a while now.

“Uh, they need to do something about all this traffic,” I mutter under my breath.  They’ve been working on this intersection for what seems like years.  The light that was a last-ditch effort to relieve some of the congestion seems to be making it worse.  No one pays attention to anything.

Right when I’m about to cross over the intersection, I hear a loud horn followed by Cohen’s scream in the backseat.  Checking the car in front of me, seeing that it’s a good distance ahead, I don’t even get my eyes to the rearview to check the one following before I see it.

Just out of the corner of my eye, I see the flash of red before I hear the twisting, bending, moaning, and screaming sounds of metal and glass colliding.  I can feel the tiny pieces of glass that fly from my window piercing my skin.  My seatbelt pulls tight and digs into my skin.  Every inch of my left side is on fire, burning in a way that makes my vision dim.

It takes only a second, but in that second, I think about the little boy in the backseat, praying that he’s okay and unharmed.  I pray that the little girls still growing in the safety of my belly aren’t affected.  And I think about the handsome man who isn’t going to be okay if anything happens to his family.

“Co-hen…” I gasp when the car stops moving.  My brain fights to understand where I am and why I can’t open my eyes.  Fighting every single fiber in my being that tells me to just let go and fade away.

I struggle to stay awake; I try to fight the pain and the fear.  I beg my body to move, to stop just lying here and get to Cohen.  He needs me, and I need to know he’s okay.

I know it isn’t going to be long now. I can feel my body slowly going numb, and the overwhelming pain starts to wash away when each part of my body becomes a stranger to me.  My eyes keep rolling around in my head like they aren’t attached anymore.  My vision fades from color to black and gray, the webs of nothingness closing in and pulling me away.