“Is that it?” I ask, knowing that there is no way that’s all.

“Nope,” she states but doesn’t elaborate.

“Okay?”

“Then he decided we needed to have theme Fridays. Dani, theme fucking Fridays. You are going to shit yourself. This week, he wants a burlesque-type theme. He actually wants all of us girls, plus Jonathan—the new guy that started while you were out—to dress up in complete burlesque gear. If he could get away with it, I think he would even incorporate some sort of dance number into the end of every hour.”

“You’re joking?” Son of a bitch. I knew better than to leave Sway unattended for too long. I’ve always been able to keep a leash on his wilder-than-normal ideas.

“Not at all. He even mentioned something about a pole-dancing class to teach us how to move before we had a stripper-slash-Vegas-showgirl day. Dani, he mentioned headdresses. Head. Dresses!” she yells in my ear.

“I’ll talk to him when I get in. Maybe I can talk him out of this.”

“I wouldn’t put any money on it. He’s already taken an ad out in the local paper. He’s gone off the deep end ever since they wrapped filming of the reality show for last season and started their pre-filming for the next season. Sway All the Way is definitely making him battier than normal, and you know, once the show airs it’s only going to get worse.”

“God, Lyn. Can you freaking believe that is actually happening? I’m going to die when the first show airs.” I slap my palm against my forehead when I remember what happened during the first episode’s filming.

“Well, that’s your own fault for not rescheduling my brother’s haircut for a non-filming day,” she laughs.

“Jesus, he’s going to see it, isn’t he? Do you think we can break all the televisions he could possibly be around before it airs? Luckily, Daddy already said he wasn’t watching that ‘chick shit,’ so he will remain blissfully unaware.”

“You can only hope, Dani. I don’t know what the big deal is though. It isn’t that bad.”

“Uh. I basically have ‘I’m daydreaming about running my hands through your hair while you fuck me’ written all over my face and then I stupidly admitted my feelings to the producers during our camera interview!” I shriek.

“Ew. Don’t be so dramatic, loser. You didn’t look that obvious, and I’m sure they won’t even show that part of the interview. It was the first show. They have to . . . I don’t know . . . introduce the place and all that is Sway first. They wouldn’t start off with your crazy ass lusting after my brother.”

“You don’t know that,” I challenge.

“Yeah, and you don’t know they will do anything different. Calm your tits. Look, I have to go and finish up my makeup. I’ve got a wedding party of five coming in today, and if I want to grab up all those hopeful bridesmaids’ business, I have to look like hot shit so they know I’m capable when the time comes for them to not be the poorly dressed extras in the wedding. Marketing is such a bitch sometimes.”

She doesn’t even give me a chance to say bye. She just clicks off the phone. I can imagine she is going all out on her makeup—not that she needs it. Lyn is stunning. But she always gets a little eccentric when it comes to wedding makeup. She’s convinced that the bridesmaids are living in some jealous fog and, when they get makeup done by her, meet their Prince Charming, and then in turn have their wedding in the plans, they’re going to somehow remember the girl who made them stunning and created that snowball effect.

Yeah, Lyn is also the most confident person I’ve ever met, and she’s convinced she can do anything. Since she’s booked for more weddings of repeat bridesmaids, I have to kind of agree with her logic here.

Burlesque- and showgirl-themed days? Good lord, it’s going to be a long day.

AS PREDICTED, IT IS INSANE the second I step foot inside of Sway’s. The madness starts with Sway and ends with Sway. Madness and insane being the keywords.

“Sweet heavens you, my little belle! Sway was imagining you on your deathbed! When that hunky father of yours—stop looking at me like that, you would have to be blind not to see how hunky he is! Anyway, when he told me that my Danielle-Bell was sick, I was so worried. Darling, you look like you’ve lost weight. Weight, I will remind you, that you did not have to lose. Such a tiny little tinker.” He spins me with two hands on my shoulders, and I have to work hard not to bust my ass when my heels struggle to keep up with the rapid movement. “It’s a good thing you have your mother’s lush bottom or you would look like a stick. As it is, you look like a stick with a great ass.”