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Page 38
Page 38
“Kinda,” I murmured, closing my eyes against the brightness. “Oh God, this is so embarrassing.”
He chuckled. “It’s nothing, sweetheart.”
“This is why you stayed, right?” I moaned, feeling like a giant idiot. “You knew I was going to be sick and here I was, taking off my clothes.”
“Shh,” he said, tucking the loose strands of my hair back. “As charming as it was to watch you vomit up your guts, that’s not why I stayed and you know it.”
I closed my eyes again, feeling a bit floaty. “Because you want me, but not when I’m drunk and puking all over the place?”
Cam burst into laughter. “Yeah, you know, that sounds about right.”
“Just making sure we’re on the same page,” I murmured. It kind of struck me then that I was still just in my jeans and bra, but I honestly didn’t care. Tomorrow would most definitely be a different story.
“We’re not.”
I pried one eye open. “Ha.”
“Thought you’d like that.” He swiped the cool, damp cloth along my chin.
“You’re very… good at this.”
“Had a lot of practice.” Cam tossed the towel aside, grabbed a new one and repeated the steps. “Been where you are quite a few times.” He ran it down my neck, over my bra straps and then the length of my arms. “Want to get ready for bed?”
My other eye flew open.
He shook his head and the dimple appeared in his left cheek. “Get your mind out of the gutter.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh,” he said, standing. With his back to me, he rummaged around the sink. A faucet turned on. He was back in front of me again, holding a loaded toothbrush. “Thought you’d want to get the taste out of your mouth.”
My fingers made grabby motions. “You are wonderful.”
“I know.” He handed it over and then replaced the toothbrush with one of those paper cups I never used. When I was all done, he knelt again and rocked back on his heels. He unzipped his hoodie and shrugged it off. “I’ve been trying to get you to say I’m wonderful from the first time you plowed into me. If I’d known that all it would take was handing you a toothbrush, I would have done that a long time ago. My loss.”
“No. It was my…” I pushed myself up a little, watching as he reached down and pulled the shirt off his head. “My loss—what are you doing?”
“I don’t know where your clothes are.”
“Uh-huh.” My gaze dropped and I think I needed the damp towel again.
“And I figured you’d want to get out of your clothes.”
In the bright light, I saw the detail on the sun tattoo like I never had before. There had to be a thousand little marks inside the sun, giving it such a realistic, fiery detail. “Yeah…”
“So the easiest thing would be to let you borrow my shirt.”
My eyes went even lower, over the dusky nipple and then down, tracing each ripple of his stomach muscles. “Okay.”
“Then you’d be more comfortable.”
There was a fine dusting of dark hair the appeared under his navel and traveled south, below the band on his jeans. It looks like someone placed their fingers on either side of his hips, indenting the skin there. “Sure,” I murmured. How did someone get muscles there? Like what kind of stomach exercises did you have to subject yourself to?
“You haven’t been listening to a single thing I’ve said.”
I dragged my gaze up. “Nuh-uh.”
There was that dimple again as he clasped my hips and helped me up so I was sitting on the edge of the tub. “Don’t lift your arms yet, okay.”
Sitting still, I gripped the edges of the tub as he pulled the opening of his shirt over my head.
“Keep your arms down.” He let go of the shirt and slipped his arms around me. A second later, his agile finger unclasped my bra.
“What are you doing?” My stomach dropped, and boy, after what just went on in here, that was not a good feeling.
He laughed as the straps slid down my arms, making me shiver. “Like I said before, get your mind out of the gutter. Your virtue is safe with me.”
“My virtue?” I wasn’t sure if I wanted it to be safe with him.
He peeked up. “For now.”
“For now?” I whispered.
Cam nodded. “Put your arms through.”
I did as I was told and then he made a show of rolling up the sleeves before sliding his hand down my left arm, stopping above my bracelet.
“Don’t—” Panic shot through me as he unhooked the bracelet. I tried to yank my arm back, but Cam looked up, tightening his grip.
“I’ve already seen it, Avery.”
Pressure clamped down on my chest. “Please, don’t. It’s embarrassing and I can’t take back that you saw this. I wish I could, but I can’t.”
He wrapped both his hands around the bracelet and wrist as he met my gaze with his steady one. “It’s because of this, isn’t it? Why you freaked out on me? Wouldn’t talk to me? Dropped the class?”
A lump rose so quickly in my throat that I couldn’t speak.
“Oh, sweetheart.” Softness crept into voice and his stare. “We’ve all done stuff we aren’t proud of. If you knew…” He shook his head. “The point is, I don’t know why you did this. I just hope that whatever the reason was, it’s something that you’ve come to terms with. I don’t think any less of you because of it. I never did.”
“But you looked so…” My voice was too hoarse.
The bracelet slipped off, but his one hand still covered my wrist as he put the bracelet on the edge of the sink. “I was just surprised and I was concerned. I didn’t know when you got this and I’m not going to ask. Not right now, okay? Just know that you don’t have to hide it around me. Alright?”
All I could do was nod, because I was always trying to hide it.
Cam lowered his head as he lifted my wrist, turning my arm over, so my palm was facing up. He pressed his lips to the scar, and the breath caught in my throat. I looked away, squeezing my eyes shut. Something cracked inside me, a proverbial wall I’d built around me.
“I’d just turned sixteen,” I said, my voice hoarse as I blurted out the words before I lost my nerve. “That’s when I did it. I don’t know if I really meant to do it or if I just wanted someone to…” I shook my head. “It’s something I regret every day.”
“Sixteen?” His tone was devoid of judgment.
I nodded. “I would never do anything like that again. I swear. I’m not the same person I was then.”
“I know.” Several moments passed and then he placed my arm on my leg. “Now it’s time to take your pants off.”
The abrupt change in subject caused me to laugh. “Nice.”
When he helped me stand, the shirt almost reached my knees and my bra, it lay on the floor between us like a sad, lonely thing. When he reached for the buttons on my jeans, I smacked his hand away. “I think I can do that.”
“Are you sure?” A brow arched up. “Because I’m here at your service and taking your jeans off is something I feel I’d be exceptionally wonderful at.”
“I’m sure you would be. Put your hoodie back on.”
He took a step back and leaned against the sink. All that male flesh completely on display. “I like when you look.”
“I remember,” I grumbled, turning away. It was like my bracelet hadn’t even come off, but I felt more naked without it on than I would if I wore no clothes at all. With a little shimmy, I stepped out of my jeans. When I faced him, he was still all kinds of half-naked.
Cam swiped his hoodie off the floor and then took my hand. “You think you’ll be good out of the bathroom?”
“I hope so.”
We headed back into the living room, and I thought he was going to leave then, as it was well after two a.m., but he found me some aspirins, made me drink a bottle of water, and then sat on my couch. He gave my arm a little tug. “Sit with me.”
I started to move around his legs, but he stopped me.
“No. Sit with me.”
Having no idea where he was going with this, I shook my head. Cam leaned back and then tugged on my arm a little harder. I went with it, letting him pull me into his lap. My side against his front, legs stretched out on the cushions beside us. He yanked the quilt up over my legs and once he had me situated the way he wanted, he wrapped his arms around my waist.
“You should try to go to sleep,” he said, his voice barely audible over the hum of the TV. “It’ll help in the morning.”
I relaxed against him, faster than I thought possible. Snuggling closer, I rested my head against his chest. “You’re not leaving?”
“Nope.”
“At all?” I closed my eyes.
His chin grazed the top of my head and then his lips brushed across my forehead. A sigh leaked out from between my lips. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said. “I’ll be right here when you wake up, sweetheart. I promise.”
It took a couple of moments to realize the blinding light was from the sun shining through my living room window and that I was still in Cam’s lap. My head was against his shoulder and his chin was resting atop mine. His arms were secured around me like he thought I’d wake up and run off.
In my chest, my heart got a little workout.
Memories from last night were a little disjointed at first, but when they started to make sense, I alternated between being thrilled, embarrassed, shocked, and then thrilled again.
Cam was still here and last night he’d said that he wanted me, that we would be together, even after he knew what I had done to myself and after I’d been a total bitch to him.
I almost couldn’t believe it. Maybe I was dreaming, because I didn’t feel like I deserved this.
Placing my hand on his chest, I felt his heart beat steady and strong under my palm. His skin was bare, warm, and real. I needed to see his face to fully believe that this was happening. I shifted in his lap.
Cam groaned a deep, rich sound.
Eyes going wide, I stilled. Holy moley, I could feel his arousal against my hip. His arms tightened around my waist and I felt his heart kick around the same time mine did.
“Sorry,” he said, his voice thick and gruff. “It’s morning and you’re sitting on me. That’s a combination meant to bring any man down.”
Warmth swamped my cheeks, but heat raced through my veins and I was reminded of how he felt when he had rocked against me before. Not the best thought to be having right now. His grip on my waist loosened and his hand dropped to my hip. Through the thin shirt—his shirt—my skin tingled.
Okay. Maybe it was the perfect thought to be having right now.
“Do you want me to get off you?” I asked.
“Hell no.” His other hand traveled up my back, his fingers tangling in the ends of my hair. “Absolutely fucking not.”
My lips cracked a grin. “Okay.”