After I spent the last twenty minutes in the girl’s bathroom ugly crying with my best friend Arianna standing outside the bathroom stall begging me to tell her what was wrong, I was ready to go beat the shit out of Jessica Fucking Harris.

I was finally able to somewhat speak to Ari once the sobs settled a bit.

“Ohhh, my gawd, Ari that fucker….that no good for nothing”…..and there it was…another round of endless sobs.

“Please Ellie, you are really scaring me. Please tell me who and what the hell you are talking about before I scale this fucking door and beat it out of you.” Ari screamed over my loud cries.

“It’s ….it’s Ryan. I saw him having sex with….with….Je…Jess…Jessi….”

I can’t breathe……OH MY GOD! Why?

“I just saw Ryan fucking Jessica Harris behind the stage!” I screamed out with such a force even I was waiting for someone to come in and see what the hell was going on in the girl’s bathroom down in C hall.

For a few minutes I thought Ari had left me in my misery alone. I was alone, sitting in the girl’s bathroom crying over some jerk, crying all alone.

I would always end up alone.

How stupid was I to think that Ryan would wait to be with me until I was ready. I just never felt like Ryan was ‘the one’ I was saving myself for. We had barley even kissed and he never tried to go further. My mother told me the first and last time she met Ryan that I was only arm candy for him.

I am always going to be alone. I shook my head…. that is not true….. I had Jefferson. I would always have Jefferson.

“Holy hells bells…..Jesus, Mary and Joseph… that dirty rotten son of a bitch cock sucking mother fucker! I am going to cut his balls off and…”

God I loved this girl. Arianna had been my best friend since we were ten. She was beautiful, funny and smart as hell. She was graduating as Valedictorian of our class. She was the same height as me, 5’5 and we both weighed around 120. It made it nice since I loved to borrow her clothes.

She had beautiful medium brown hair that fell just below her shoulders. She had hauntingly beautiful green eyes. Her only downfall….she didn’t know when to stop talking. The girl could rattle on all day if you let her.

“Ari please, if anyone is going to cut his balls off it sure as shit is going to be me not you. But thank you for the love.” I said as I walked out of the stall more composed than I really should have been.

Somehow in the last sixty seconds it hit me. I was not meant to be happy or find love. Just like my mother told me when I was younger.

I will never be wanted.

Not by anyone, let alone by one of the most popular boys in the senior class. What a fool I had been. Argh, I just needed my brother to get here. He would take me away from this disaster, just like he always has.

Once Ari made sure I was okay she hightailed it out of the bathroom before the bell rang to let Mrs. Johnson know I was not feeling well. She was planning on telling our science teacher I was having terrible cramps and was in the girl’s bathroom.

She was right in a way…I was in terrible pain but it had nothing to do with cramps. It was my heart breaking and nothing more. Mrs. Johnson would not care. It was the last day for seniors anyway and all we were doing was playing stupid ass games.

I had sent Jefferson a text message right when I walked into the bathroom and locked myself behind the stall, asking if he could come and pick me up early. Ari had seen me running from the auditorium and came after me. I had managed to avoid Ryan by hiding out on the other end of the school for the last few minutes. I was silently hoping he just left school once he could not find me. It was now between classes and I was just praying my phone would chirp with ‘I’m here honey’ and I could just get the hell out of dodge and into the safety of Jefferson’s truck. If I can manage that and not see Ryan, I should be okay.

“Ells….please let me talk to you.”

FUCK a duck….yep… it was true……..my life will never go like I wish for it to. Holy hell!

“Go away R..Ryan”. Oh hells bells keep it together Ellie, keep it together. DO NOT cry in front of him!

“Please Ells, I made a terrible mistake. Jessica was saying all this shit about how she heard you telling Ari you had no plans of getting closer to me and how you were going to break up with me before summer…and…well shit! Ellie I just was not thinking straight honey. I’ve been trying to be patient with you Ellie but for fucks sake all we ever do is kiss and well…I just broke. A guy has needs and well um…. She just broke me Ellie with her bullshit and I had a small moment of weakness. I promise you it will never happen again. I promise. I. Will. NEVER betray you again Ellie. I promise you honey. Let’s just forget about this okay? Move on, we can move on right Ellie?”

Oh my god, I think I just threw up in my mouth. A guy has needs? Is he insane! He had a SMALL moment of weakness? You have got to be fucking kidding me! Did he really just say that?

I got the courage from somewhere deep inside and turned to face him.

“You have got to be kidding me right? THAT is your reason for fucking Jessica? Because I was hoping you were going to at least make it worth my while Ryan.” I managed to spit that all out even with the tears I was holding back and the anger that was growing.

“Make what worth your while? Ellie I will do anything!” Ryan pleaded.

At that moment I summoned all the deep down empowering woman bullshit Ari’s mother is always preaching to us. “Girls, you are stronger than you know…. If you don’t like being treated like a doormat then get the fuck off the floor…. oh and my all time favorite…’If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun’. That one was a quote by Katharine Hepburn. Ari’s mother adored Katharine Hepburn and I swear she has made us watch every one of her movies.

Yep! Once I had all that empowering shit boiled up in my small 5’5 118 pound body, I balled my fist up and hit that mother fucker as hard as I could in the face. Okay, I am not going to lie and say it did not hurt. It hurt like a son of a bitch and I’m pretty sure I let out a scream of shear pain once I made contact with his jaw but….to see Ryan’s head snap back and everyone stop and stare. Jesus it was worth it!

Even if I did think I just broke my hand. SHIT!

“For making that worth my while you asshole, SHIT!” I yelled at Ryan. For just one second I felt so good, until I felt my hand start to throb harder.

Ohhh shit……

“Ellie what the hell is going on?!” It was Jefferson. I was pulled out of the daze I was in as I stood there and looked at my ever increasing swollen hand.

“I got your text honey, WHAT is going on?”

Jefferson looked at me then down to my hand and then over to Ryan who was now nursing his jaw and it must have all clicked in that moment. Jefferson had Ryan pinned up against the lockers in two seconds flat.

“What the fuck did you do to my sister you asshole? I will KILL you if you have hurt her!” Jefferson hissed between his teeth.

I walked over and tried to grab Jefferson off Ryan before he hurt him or worse, got in trouble for beating the shit out of a high school student. I forgot about my hand and I lurched back in pain and let out a small gasp when I grabbed at his shirt. Just then I felt warm strong hands on my shoulders and my whole body started to tingle and feel warm inside.

What the hell?!? What was going on?

“Stand back here Ellie so you don’t get hurt sweetheart.” I looked up and was looking into the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen. I had never seen a guy as good looking as the guy who was standing in front of me. He must have been at least 6’2 230 pounds. I know this because Jefferson was 6’ 1 and 220 pounds.

My eyes traveled up and down his body quickly. Holy shit this guy was built! I always thought my brother Jefferson was the most handsome man I’d ever seen. Jefferson had light brown hair and emerald green eyes. He worked out every day for as long as I could remember. He said it was his way to release his stress. We could not go anywhere ever without every girl tripping over herself to get his attention. The thing I love most about my brother is that he is clueless to all of it. Just take my brother to the lake and have him take off his shirt and BAM…girls everywhere. He had a beautiful body and had part of his chest and upper arms covered in ink. He had a Texas flag tattoo on his upper left arm and a tribal tattoo on his right chest and shoulder that went down a little ways onto his back. He and few friends went last summer and got tribal tattoos.

But this guy standing in front of me was breathtaking…….I could not tear my eyes away from him…..

I heard a small laugh escape from his beautiful mouth and noticed he was still holding onto my shoulders. I snapped out of yet another daze.

He smiled down at me and at that moment everything sounded muffled. I barely heard Jefferson yelling at Ryan, or Mr. Watson screaming and asking Jefferson why he was on campus and to let Ryan go. I only saw the most magnificent smile looking down at me. My whole body felt weak and I had to really think about breathing. I managed to look around him to see what was going on with Jefferson.

He gave my shoulders a small squeeze and a moment later he turned and grabbed Jefferson off of Ryan.

“Jeff, take it easy man. Calm the hell down dude; he’s not worth going to jail for!” He said in a soft and calm voice.

Yep, I had never heard a voice so sweet in my life. Can your body physically melt from a voice? What the hell was going on with me?

“I’m going to kill that fucker if he hurt her in anyway Gunner, I.Will.Kill.Him!” Jefferson shouted as he looked at Ryan.

So, this was Gunner huh? My brothers best friend from college. Jefferson talked about Gunner all the time but I had yet to meet him. I had seen him plenty of times on the football field though. They played football together for UT and were both majoring in Architectural Engineering.

Gunner let out a laugh that moved through my whole body like a warm blanket. What was happening to me??? I just stood there staring, I could not move. What was it about this guy that had my insides just melting? I mean I just saw my boyfriend screwing someone else and I was NEVER…let me repeat myself…I was NEVER going to fall in love again. All men were pure scum. Evil bastards that just wanted to get one thing from you. SEX. Let them know you are a virgin and I guess they will invest months of their lives to say that they took that away from you.

Bastards……

I looked at Gunner again. There was something about him. I was shocked by my immediate intense feelings for him especially after what had just happened. I looked his body up and down as I licked my lips after my mouth went dry in an instant. I tried to tear my eyes away from him but couldn't. He was built just a bit bigger than Jefferson. He had brown hair that had that perfect messy look only a guy this hot could pull off. I looked up to his eyes…. holy shit…those beautiful blue eyes. I could see myself getting so lost in those eyes. I dragged my eyes down away from his face and they went right to his large muscular chest. He had a tattoo, YUM. I could see part of it on his arm, just sticking out from under his tight white tee shirt. You could almost see his black tribal tattoo under his shirt if you looked hard enough and I sure as hell was looking hard. It appeared to start on his chest and moved up his shoulder and back down onto his arm. What I wouldn’t do to get a peek of that and run my fingers along…….