Just when I didn’t think it could get any better she reached in between us and started to move her hand along my erection. I moaned into her mouth and she pressed against me harder. I took my hand and started to unbutton her shorts and was about to slip my hand in her pants.

What the fuck was I doing? I needed to stop….right now before this went any further. I started to pull my hand away but she grabbed it.

She was practically panting when she barely pulled away from my lips….”NO! Please don’t stop Jeff….please….I need this so fucking bad!”

My fucking brain stopped functioning and I put my hands down her shorts and into her panties. I ran one finger through her lips and slowly slid it inside her……FUCK ME.

“Holy fuck you’re so wet Ari.” She moaned as she pushed her hips into my hand and started moving. I slid another and then another finger into her and started moving faster as I kissed her again.

Ari pulled away from my kiss and threw her head back. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She grabbed my tee shirt and started moving her hips faster.

“OH MY GOD Jeff! OHHH God…..YES! Oh Jeff yes!”

I reached up under her shirt again with my other hand and pushed her bra up. I pulled her shirt up and started to suck on her nipples. She smelled so fucking good….like vanilla….I teased her one nipple with my tongue and then pinched it with my teeth and that is when she started screaming out my name.

I thought I was going to die right there as I heard my name being called out from her beautiful lips. I pulled away from her breast and watched her as she came apart in my arms. I felt her clinching tighter onto my fingers and it was the hottest fucking thing I had ever experienced. It seemed like her orgasm went on forever before she finally brought her head back straight and looked at me. I swear it was like she was taking a part of my soul right then and there. She slowly started to smile at me….. holy shit her smile….if she only knew how that smile could make me do anything she asked of me.

I couldn’t breathe….my heart was beating faster than ever and pounding in my ears. Ari’s breathing was getting back to normal as she just stared into my eyes. I could not stop looking at her. My eyes dropped to her lips as she licked them. Fuck my knees almost gave out on me. I pulled my hand out from her shorts.

What the fuck did I just do?

“Jeff…..I want you more than anything….I want to feel you inside me….please I need you…...”

WHAT? NO! NO! This was all wrong.

“No….no this was a mistake Ari…..this shouldn’t have ever happened.”

CHAPTER FORTY FIVE

Ari……

Oh…holy hells bells….I had never experienced anything like that before in my entire life! I wanted more! I needed more. I needed Jeff so bad it physically hurt. I said it before I even knew the words were out of my mouth. I just came out and told Jeff I wanted to have sex with him…oh god why did I say that?

His face went white and he stiffened up.

“No…no this was a mistake Ari….this shouldn’t have ever happened.”

Wait…WHAT? I had to shake my head to clear my thoughts. Did he just say what happened between us was a mistake? That it should never have happened?

“Wh….what?” I could barely get the word out of my mouth? How could he say that? That was the most awesome moment of my life…..how could he say that? I saw the way he was looking at me. He felt it too. I know he did!

“I’m so sorry baby…I should never have let that happen. I promise you I won’t ever do that to you again.”

Oh my god I’m so fucking confused right now I just want to scream. I threw my hands in my hair and shook my head to clear my thoughts.

“What the hell are you saying Jeff? How can you say that was a mistake? How….how can you do that to me…make me feel that way and then tell me it was a mistake. NO! That was not a mistake! I do not for one minute regret any of it.”

Jeff pushed away from me and ran his hands through his hair. He looked me up and down and zeroed in on my shorts that were still unbuttoned.

“Jeff, I want you. I’ve wanted you for so long now please don’t say that this was wrong…” I started to move towards him but he put his hands up to stop me.

“NO! I fucked up….I didn’t mean to do that Ari. You….you have a fucking boyfriend!” Jeff said as he looked at me shocked.

I shook my head back and forth….no….he was not going to use Jason as a way to get out of this.

“I don’t want Jason….I want you Jefferson! I love YOU!”

He just stood there and looked at me stunned. At first he seemed relieved when I said I didn’t want Jason….then it turned to confusion and now…I don’t know how to read his face. The emotions running across his face were starting to freak me out. He looked….….angry?

He laughed….Why the hell would he laugh?

“You love me? No you don’t Ari, you just got caught up in a moment that I should have never have let happen. It was all a mistake Ari….If I could take it back I would. It didn’t mean anything.”

I felt the water building in my eyes. NO! I would not cry….he didn’t mean what he was saying……..how could he be saying this to me right now.

“I thought…..but I thought you wanted me Jeff? The way you were looking at me……”

He ran his hand through his hair again and turned away from me. I couldn’t move…..I just stood there watching him. He took a deep breath and turned around to face me again. There was no emotion on his face what so ever.

“I’m sorry Ari if I led you on. I….I just got caught up in the moment and I wasn’t thinking clearly. It didn’t mean anything and I think we need to just forget this ever happened.”

I can’t breathe….oh my god I can’t breathe….my whole world just turned the fuck upside down. The only man I have ever loved….ever wanted….just basically told me to fuck off. I felt a tear slide down my face. I couldn’t even move my hand to wipe it away.

Jeff’s face instantly looked like he was in pain….…he stepped forward and reached out to wipe the tear away.

I stepped back.

“Don’t. You. Ever. Touch. Me. Again! You dirty rotten bastard. I can’t believe you.” I lost it and lunged at him and started to pound my fists in his chest.

“How could you? How could you DO this to me?” He just grabbed onto me and held me while I pounded my fists on his chest.

Oh god………my legs were giving out…..I started to slide down onto the ground as he came down with me and held me while I cried. I hated him…..I hated him with everything that I had.

NO! He was not allowed to comfort me after he just ripped my heart out. I pushed him away from me and stood up. I heard someone driving up.

Jeff stood up and reached out for me. He had tears in his eyes but I didn’t give a fuck.

“I. Hate. You!” I said threw gritted teeth.

“Ari….”

“No….no you don’t get to stand there anymore and tell me how you fucked up you mother fucker! I will never ever forgive you for this. Do you understand me Jeff….NEVER! I hate you! I fucking HATE you!”

I screamed it so loud at him he jumped back in shock. I buttoned up my shorts and walked around to the other side of the jeep. I was shaking from head to toe and I felt sick to my stomach.

It looked like it was Drake driving up. Thank god…I couldn’t stand to be anywhere near Jeff right now. I felt like a cheap whore all of a sudden. How could I be so fucking stupid! To think that I stood there and asked him to have sex with me!

Drake pulled up in the ranch truck and jumped out and started to walk towards the back of the truck.

“Hey! Mr. Mathew’s told me y’all took the jeep out! He must have forgotten that Gunner told him it needed a new battery! I picked one up in town this morning.”

I turned to look at the asshole who was staring over at me still. He looked like he was going to throw up. I hope he did. Maybe I would put something in his dinner tonight so he got deathly sick and threw up all goddamn night. I turned away from him and walked over to Drake who was pulling the battery for the jeep out of the back of the truck.

“Drake, I um, I really need to get back to the house. Can you ride back up with Jeff please while I take the truck?”

“Ari…wait…we need to talk about..….”

I spun around and glared at him stopping him mid sentence. I never knew I could hate someone as much as I hated him right now.

“No…I believe you said all you needed to say, so now it’s my turn.”

I walked past a very confused Drake and got right up to Jeff.

“When I get back home to Jason, my BOYFRIEND, you can better believe he won’t be telling me what a mistake it was after we get done fucking for the first time!”

Jeff briefly closed his eyes and then opened them again. His eyes looked like they were filled with pain but I fucking knew better.

I turned around and stopped in front of Drake.

“Are the keys in the truck?”

“Ahhhh….ummmm….yes.” I kind of felt bad for the guy to have to stand there and hear all of that but oh fucking well. I was done with all of this bullshit.

I barely made it back to the ranch house in one piece. I could hardly see through the tears running down my face. I saw Gunner and Ellie sitting on the porch with Emma. I tried to wipe the tears away but they just would not stop. I pulled the truck down by the barn and started to make my way up to the house. I could see Ellie smiling at me but as soon as she got a better look her smile faded and she started to run up to me.

“Arianna….Oh my god what is wrong?!”

“Your brother…..your brother is what’s wrong Ellie. He is a dirty rotten good for nothing son of a bitch. I hate him. I fucking HATE him.”

“What.…what did he do?” Just then she threw her hand up to her mouth and started to shake her head…..

“He didn’t….”

I started to laugh, that was a joke. ”No Ellie….I guess I’m a major turn off where that is concerned. If you will excuse me…I think I need to take a nice long bath and then lay down for awhile.”

“Ari…tell me what he did.” Ellie said as she grabbed my arm.

I turned and looked at her and the tears where back.

“He gave me hope for a few brief minutes Ellie before he ripped my heart out and threw it on the ground and buried it deep into the dirt with his boots.”

I turned and Gunner was standing there his hands balled up in fists. I tried to smile as I walked by and made my way up onto the porch. Emma stopped me and gave me a hug that caused me to go into another crying fit. She helped me into the house and up stairs. She led me into the bathroom and drew me a hot bath while I sat there staring off into space.

How could I have been so stupid?

“Arianna, men are stupid creatures. Sometimes they love something so much it scares them, and they try to push it as far away as they can.” Emma said as she was pushing my hair back from my red tear swollen eyes.