“Right,” I mumble as I crane my neck to see if I can catch a glimpse of who’s on the ground. It’s common to see a player down, so I don’t freak out.

Until I see all the guys on the team take a knee.

This can’t be good.

I hear an ambulance siren getting closer. Vic is standing like a statue, away from the crowd, watching the scene. I know something horrible has happened just by his stance and the shocked look on his face.

I rush out to the field, my mind racing with horrible scenarios. When I get closer, I see the number on the player’s jersey.

Thirty-four.

“Trey!” His name comes out of my mouth in a pained scream.

I rush over to him, but am immediately held back by Jet and Derek. The dire, sullen looks on their faces make my heart sink and my body go still.

“Monika, you shouldn’t watch,” Derek says quietly as he shields me from the scene.

“What’s wrong with Trey? What happened?” I cry out as I struggle against their attempts to keep me away from him. “Tell me!”

Jet hugs me in a tight grip. “They’re working on him, Monika. Just calm down.”

I claw at them, unable to control myself. “I don’t want to calm down. Trey! Oh, God! What’s going on?” Trey is lying on the ground, limp and lifeless. Someone’s giving him CPR, but why?

What happened?

Suddenly Ashtyn is in my line of sight. She rushes over to me with eyes full of tears. “Oh, God!” she cries out.

“What’s wrong with him?” I ask frantically as I feel hot tears streaming down my face. “Will he be okay? Tell me he’ll be okay! I need you to tell me that he’ll be okay, Ash.” I look to Jet, my vision blurry now. “Please…”

No matter if we broke up, Trey is still a part of me. We’ve been together for over three years, experienced so many things together.

“He’s getting help,” Derek says, but those words aren’t good enough.

“I need to go to him,” I cry out.

Ashtyn puts her hands on either side of my face. “Monika, he’s hurt.”

“What happened?” I ask. I can’t help but sob uncontrollably.

“He was tackled,” she says, her own face showing how distraught she is. “I don’t know what’s going on. He’s not moving.”

“I need to help him. Please let me help him,” I cry out. “Please.”

“They’re doing everything they can, honey,” she says. “I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Are you sure?” I need to have reassurances that he’s going to come out of this unscathed.

“He’s strong,” Ash tells me. “If anyone can handle a hard hit, it’s Trey.”

But she doesn’t say what I want to hear, what I need to hear: that he’ll be okay. A part of me feels responsible for this.

An ambulance drives onto the field.

“I want to see him. Please let me see him,” I cry out, barely aware that my voice sounds like a hysterical crazy person.

But they don’t let me see him.

It seems like the entire team is blocking my view and telling me to calm down. I can’t control the sobs coming from my mouth or the fact that I’m shaking uncontrollably. My body feels like ice.

As the ambulance drives away with Trey inside, my knees give out and I collapse on the field. Ashtyn is right next to me, along with Derek and Jet.

“Take a deep breath, Monika,” Ashtyn says, her words shaky. “Come on, do it. I’ll do it with you.”

“Okay,” I say, my voice trembling. I’m trying to catch my breath, but it’s not working. I try to breathe deep with Ashtyn.

But I’m a mess right now.

I can’t think straight.

I need to calm down or I’m not going to be useful to anyone. Attempting to get my emotions under control, I can’t look at my friend’s faces. They show too much sorrow and defeat, as if they know there’s bad news and they’re trying to hold it inside.

“We need to go to the hospital,” I tell them, debilitating panic bubbling right below the surface. “Right now.”

“I’ll carry her,” Jet says, but I shoo him away.

“I got this.”

I get up and see that Victor is standing by the goal line. He strips off his jersey and pads, leaving them on the field.

“Vic!” Ashtyn calls out. “We’re going to the hospital. Come with us.”

He turns away as if he doesn’t hear her, then runs off.