For as long as I’ve known you, I’ve felt a pull towards you like I’ve never known before.  It’s no secret now that I haven’t had the best of beginnings in my life.  Even with all of that in my past, I still had faith in love.  Maybe I just had rose-colored glasses on.  I’m not sure.  But I wanted to believe that there was some sort of reward to be had for all the bullshit I had to deal with to get here.

I’m only human, Maddox.  I’m not sure how many times it will take of you pushing me away before you start kicking me while I’m down—I bleed just like the rest of us when I fall…only when I fall at your hands, it hurts just a little more.  I fear that I’m no longer strong enough to stand against your continuous rejection—to stand on the sidelines and watch you willing to fight for everyone one else around us to get their slice of happiness.

One thing I know for sure now is that, as much as I wish it were different, I can’t keep begging you to believe in us.  I’m sure that my heart will undoubtedly always belong to you—my dark prince.  But until you can see just how worthy your love is, I’m afraid I just don’t have a part in your life.

I want you to know that I’m not running.  Not from you and not from my life here.  But I can’t be around you.  When you’re in the room, I instantly want to run into your arms and beg you to let me all the way in.  To let me help you carry some of the baggage, slay the demons—to let me help you heal.  So, for right now, I’m going to get a hotel room and fix my head…and my heart.  I know Cat is in good hands until I can get settled.  I’m pretty sure she likes you more than me anyway.

I love you.

I wish you knew how much.

-Em

Her words crash over me, leaving me hollow and alone.  I rub my chest, feeling some weird burn taking over my lungs.  She can’t just give up.  Not my Emmy.

Although, I’m not sure why I even doubt that she could.  This is, after all, everything I’ve been working towards for years.  I pushed her away and refused the love she so desperately wanted to hand me.

I pace my room, wondering when the hell I’m supposed to stop.  I refuse to sit here on my ass when she needs me.  She needs me to prove to her that I’m going to let her in.  I know that, if I don’t make this next move flawlessly, she will never believe that I’m willing to give it a go.

“Fuck!” I bellow, pulling my arm back and slamming it into the wall.  The drywall gives way and I watch my fist sink right through.  If anything, it just feeds my mood, makes me want to start destroying everything until I find her.

I’ll fucking turn this town on its ass to find her.

An hour later, I’ve basically torn my place apart looking for some kind of clue and I’m not any closer.  Her stuff is gone.  Everything except the things Cat needs and the lingering sweetness of her smell is gone.  I’m coming unglued, and if I don’t get some kind of sign soon, I’m going to snap.

I throw my body down on the couch and take in the room.  Everything is where it was when we left earlier.  The remote is on the table.  The magazine she had been flipping through before we left is sitting in the chair I’ve started thinking of as hers.  The candles she bought to make my place smell like a damn apple pie sit unlit on the counter next to the phone…

The phone that isn’t on the cradle, where I know I put it earlier.  I jump up from the couch and walk into the kitchen, spying the cordless lying on the counter.  With a pleading prayer that maybe this is the clue I need to figure out where she went, I grab it and press redial.

I know that number.

Sway.

Not wasting a second, I quickly press the on button and wait for him to pick up.  God, I hate this feeling of being out of control of everything around me.

“Hello?”  David’s voice comes through the line and I want to scream.

“Where is he?”

“Hello to you too, Maddox,” he laughs, getting a growl out of me in return.

“Yeah, hello, David… Where is Sway?”

“He got back a second ago, and I’m guessing, since you’re calling now, that you’re wondering where Emmy is?”

“You would be correct,” I grind through my clenched jaw.

“Hold on.  Let me go get him.”

I hear him moving around and then speaking softly.  I wait, trying my hardest not to snap the phone in half with the force of my grip.