“Hi, my name is Monika and I have juvenile arthritis.” I take a slow breath and continue, because I’m not going to pretend my condition doesn’t bother me or affect my life. I’m going to be real and vulnerable and true to myself. “Most days I have pain in my wrists and knees,” I say into the camera. “Sometimes my back hurts so much I have to lie down until the ache goes away. I feel like an old lady, and I’m only eighteen. I haven’t told my friends because I don’t want them to treat me differently. I cringe at the word disabled. I don’t want people to think I can’t do things they’re doing and be left out, so I became a cheerleader. I pushed my body to the limit in order to hide my inner pain. Hiding it didn’t make the pain go away though. The fear I have of everyone thinking that I’m disabled if they knew about my condition made me keep my arthritis a secret. But now someone I fell in love with told me to stop hiding my true self. He was right. It’s time I stop pretending and tell my story. I don’t know if this will help people with juvenile arthritis or put a face to the disease. But this is my life.”

A tear comes to my eye. I wipe it away, and I tell the rest of my story, then upload it so it’s posted online for everyone to see.

Then I text Vic:

ME: I need to show you something.

I send him a link to the video.

And fall asleep as I stare at my texts, waiting for a response.

Chapter Fifty-three

VICTOR

Family. Familia.

That word used to conjure up so many shitty feelings. I hated that word. Family means that you’re connected to people, whether you like them or not. Family meant trying to prove yourself worthy, even if all it got you was a slap or an insult that hurt even more.

I never thought of my friends as my extended family. They’re the people who care about me whether I’m on the football team or not, whether I’m smart or dumb, or whether I do stupid shit that gets me in trouble.

It’s unconditional.

Which is why I head home after school.

Marissa jumps into my arms as if I’m a lost dog that just returned home. It’s not far from the truth.

“I’m so glad you’re back!” Marissa cries out. “Or did you come here just to leave again?”

“I’m back,” I tell her.

“What about Dad? What if he says you can’t come back?”

“Let me deal with the old man, okay? Don’t worry about him.”

Dani rolls her eyes. She’s sitting on the sofa watching some jewelry show on television. “Seriously, things were great when you were gone, Vic. Dad doesn’t give a shit about us, which is how we like it. Go back to wherever you came from.”

“She doesn’t mean that,” Marissa says.

“Yes I do!” Dani replies.

It just hit me. Dani is the female version of me. A rebel. She’s gonna raise hell, but not if I can help it.

Dani gets a text. “I’m out,” she says.

“Where are we going?” I ask her.

“We aren’t going anywhere.” She grabs her purse and heads for the front door. “I’m going on a date.”

“With Bonk?”

“Yes. Oh, yeah, you haven’t been around so you don’t know the news. Matthew Bonk is officially my boyfriend.”

Shit.

I’ve been gone for a few weeks and come back to my sister dating Satan. She slides out the door, but not before I come out with her and slip into Bonk’s backseat as Dani slides in the front.

“What the fuck are you doing in my car, man?” Bonk says. “I thought you died. Or at least that’s what we’d hoped.”

I flash him a cynical grin. “I’m back. And before you think you’re gettin’ any more alone time with my sister, guess again. I’m her chaperone.”

Dani whips herself around and glares at me. “Get out of the car, Vic. Now!”

“Nope.” I lean forward and put my arms around them. “I’m Dani’s brother. You date her, you’ve got to deal with me breathin’ down your neck the entire time, bro.”

“You’re insane,” Bonk says. “Listen, man, I like your sister. A lot.”

Dani smiles at him, a genuine smile that softens her features. “I like you a lot too.”

Oh, hell.

“Looks like we’ll all be spendin’ a lot of time together, then.” I lean back. “Where are we goin’ for dinner? Tell Marissa to come out here too. It’ll be a family outing.”

“Oh, hell,” Bonk says.