“Hmmm…” she replies, teasingly, “…maybe I do. Tell me what you’re looking for.”
Clasping my hands behind my neck, I pretend to deliberate over my answer. But I know exactly what I’m looking for. “She has to be smart,” I begin. “And love art.”
“Art, huh?” Lily questions suspiciously.
“Yep. You know, with my being an art history minor and all.”
“Uh huh.” She plays along with a smile.
“And I tend to like blondes, my preference with long wavy hair. Maybe the kind that picks up flecks of light, reminding you of spun gold.”
“That’s pretty specific.”
“Hey. I know what I like.” I shrug.
“Of course you do,” she patronizes me.
“And blue eyes. I’m definitely a sucker for blue eyes. There’s actually a certain blue that has a hint of green in it, almost like they can change based on mood.” I pause. “They’re pretty rare. But that’s the color I like best.”
“Anything else?” She dares to ask.
“Curves. I like a woman with curves. Not too skinny. Maybe about five foot three.” I rub my chin as if I’m pondering the description of the perfect woman. Although all I have to do is look in front of me if I forget anything.
“Not five foot six? You sure?” Lily teases.
“Positive. I’m pretty specific about the height.”
“I’ll try to remember that. Anything else?”
“Hmmm…” I pretend to give it due consideration before dishing out my final requirement. “She has to like foot massages.”
“Yeah. I like to start at the foot.”
Lily swallows, trying to pretend I’m not getting to her, but I can tell that I am. “Start?”
I nod slowly. “I like to take my time. Get the tension out of her feet before I make my way up the leg. The calf. The inside of the thigh. The…”
Lily jumps from the couch abruptly. “I should check on your clothes. They were pretty soaked. One cycle might not be enough.” I smile watching her walk away, and not just because of the view. Seeing her flustered as I spoke, told her what I liked, gives me hope I might have a chance.
A little while later, we’re back on the couch and I know my clothes have to be close to dry. We’re comfortable with each other, so I try to broach what her deal with Caden is.
“So Caden seems protective of you.”
Lily forces a smile, although the mention of Caden definitely changes the mood. “That he is,” her tone tells me it’s not something she’s too happy about.
Quiet for a moment, I try to think of a tactful way to ask the question, but sometimes direct is just the fastest way to where you want to go and causes the least amount of resistance. “Are you together?” Looking her in the eye, I ask pointedly.
“No. Not anymore.”
“But you were?”
“Yes, we were.” She pauses then adds, “It’s complicated.”
“So you’re not sleeping together?”
“No!” She answers, shocked that I would ask such a question. But there’s no way in hell I would share a woman like Lily.
“So it’s not complicated then.”
“You don’t…” The dryer buzzer interrupts our conversation and Lily’s too eager to make an escape. A minute later she brings back my clothes.
“They’re dry,” she says, and I think I hear a bit of disappointment in her voice. I change in the bathroom, putting on my warm pants but realize she’s given me one of her shirts instead of mine.
“I don’t think this is going to fit me?” I emerge from the bathroom shirtless, holding her shirt up.
Lily turns around. Not answering with words, I watch as her eyes drop from my face to my body. Swallowing hard, slowly her eyes trace the length of me, stopping at the top of my unbuttoned jeans. Her lips part and with a salacious gaze, I hear a small gasp that makes me lose the little resolve to be a gentleman I have left. “Oh f**k this,” I growl, taking the two strides to reach her quickly, finding all the emotions in her eyes that I feel deep inside of me. Lust. Need. Desire. Hunger so deep, it consumes me.
Walking us two steps until her back is to the wall, I reach down and lift her up easily. Pinning her body between mine and the wall, I wrap her legs around my waist and bury my face into her neck, breathing deeply to take in her scent.
Heat pulsating wildly through my veins, I pull my head back, dig my hips deeply into her parted legs so she can feel how hard she’s affecting me and claim her mouth in a kiss.
A low moan escapes her mouth as we come up for air, both panting, our chests rising and falling in rhythm pressed firmly up against each other. “God I love that sound,” I growl, sealing my mouth back over hers before we’ve even both caught our breath.
She tastes f**king incredible. How can someone taste so damn good? Sweet and addicting, like a drug you know you shouldn’t take the first time, because there’s no going back to how you were before you had it. You need it. Want it. Crave it.
Dropping my mouth to her neck, I lick and suck, making my way to her ear where I bite down on her tender lobe. I listen to her breathing change, learning what she likes as my tongue explores every inch of what I can reach. But it’s not enough. I need more. “Jesus, what I’m gonna do to you,” I groan.
Slipping one hand behind her head and the other lifting her weight at the curve of her ass, I unpin her from against the wall and carry her over to the couch. Gently, I lay her down, her back to the soft leather, and lean over her. Her wide blue-green eyes look up at me with hooded need, but there’s something else there. Something that stops me no matter how bad I want to keep going.
“You okay, Angel?” I ask, my voice hoarse, straining to control myself.
She hesitates, “I…I shouldn’t.”
The simple two words are the equivalent of someone pouring a bucket of cold water over my head. Shit. I stand, raking my hands through my hair, taking my frustration out as I tug mindlessly at my own locks. Why the hell did I need to ruin the moment by stopping to talk, we were doing just fine without conversation.
“I’m sorry,” Lily says in a timid voice, sitting up and pulling her knees to her chest.
“Don’t be. It’s my fault. I should go.” Turning my back on her, I grab Reed’s shirt, rather than wait for her to get mine from the dryer and take off toward the door. It’s barely over my head when I reach for my shoes and walk out without looking back.
I replay the last twenty minutes over and over in my head as I make my way down the four flights to the lobby. I shouldn’t, she said, not I don’t want to. Turning around, I take the stairs back up two at a time.
What the hell is wrong with me? I can’t remember ever wanting something so badly, yet I chase him out the door. And for what? Because of a bad experience getting involved, or rather getting uninvolved, with Caden? Because I feel badly for breaking it off with a man I’m not in love with? A man I’ve never wanted like I do Jax. For almost a year I’ve walked around numb, filled with an emptiness I never thought would be filled. Then a man comes along that makes me feel more alive than I ever have, and what do I do? Push him away like an idiot.
I pick up my phone to call Reed, as I always do whenever I have a problem. But half way through dialing I realize I know what he’s going to say. Screw this. I’ll figure the rest out tomorrow. Flinging open the door to my apartment, I don’t bother to put on shoes as I make my way to the stairwell, hoping I’m not too late. Just as I reach my hand forward to open the heavy door leading to the stairs, it flies open and I’m met by the most beautiful blue eyes staring down at me.
“Where are you going?” he asks, his chest heaving up and down like he just sprinted up the four long flights of stairs.
“To get you,” I whisper.
Taking a step closer to me, Jax cups my chin, sliding his thumb across my bottom lip longingly, before tilting my head up so my eyes can meet his gaze. “You said you shouldn’t. You didn’t say you didn’t want to.” He searches my eyes, waiting for something, although I’m not sure what else he needs. I’ve come after him.
“Say it,” Jax demands, lowering his face so we’re eye to eye. “Tell me you want me as much as I want you. I don’t give a shit what you should or shouldn’t do. I just need to hear you say it. Tell me you want me.”
“I do.” I breathe out, feeling relief just saying the words.
“Say it then,” Jax commands more firmly as he takes a step closer. We’re practically touching, but it isn’t enough. I want him against me, his hard body crushing against mine again.
“I want you,” I squeak out, little more than a whisper.
“Again. Louder,” Jax wraps one arm around my waist, pulling me close to him. The other hand grips the back of my head, threading his fingers through my hair, he tugs my head back. It doesn’t hurt, but I feel the strength in his hands and it gets my attention, forcing me to look up…maybe even leaving a little more wetness between my legs. Staring back at him, he waits patiently. He wants me to say it to his eyes.
“I want you,” I say louder, with more force, more meaning.
A wicked smile crosses his face that speaks volumes. He lifts me, our mouths colliding with need so consuming I don’t even realize he’s carried us back into my apartment until the door slams closed with my back up against it.
One of his large hands grips both my wrists and pulls them high above my head. It makes me feel small and vulnerable, but instead of scaring me, it turns me on. I want him to take me. I don’t even care if it’s right here against the wall, my whole body yearns with desire.
Leaning down, I think he’s going to kiss me, but instead he buries his head in my neck, the feeling of his warm breath near my ear, ratcheting up my need to an excruciating level. My hands held tightly over my head, I have no way to grab him, bring his mouth to me where I need him, so I do the only thing I can do to force more contact. Arching my back, I push my body deeply into his until we’re pressed tightly against each other. But it’s not enough, I still need more.
“Please,” I say, almost pleading. I need to feel him back against me, know that he’s really here again. “Kiss me.” I groan as he nibbles his way down my neck to the tender skin at the crook of my shoulder.
Pulling his head back, his voice no more than a rough whisper, a delightful twitch of his sinful mouth, he says, “Oh, I’m going to kiss you, Angel. Every part of you. From the tips of your toes to the top of your head. I’m going to bury my mouth so deep inside of you that you’re going to beg for me to stop kissing you.” Distantly I register Jax lifting me and my being carried; but I’m too busy concentrating on the way he sucks my tongue into his mouth as he kisses me with more passion than I’ve ever been kissed.
He lays me down on the bed and stands, looking down at me with hunger in his eyes that brings goosebumps to my skin, even though he hasn’t even touched me yet.
I reach up, offering my hand, wanting him near me, but he grins and shakes his head no. His gaze almost predatory, he leans down, his face aligned with my br**sts, and pushes down the fabric to my thin tank top, revealing a very protruding, and wanting, nipple.
“It was killing me knowing you had no bra on under here,” he hisses, then drops his head without warning, sucking deeply on one nipple while staring up at me…watching my reaction. His tongue swirls around my pebbled bundle of nerves before biting down and I gasp at the unexpected pain. Although it’s the kind of pain that feels good, and he quickly lavishes sweet kisses making it all better anyway.